Sophie Cahill was Miss Wales a couple of years ago. I obviously never heard of her because I am really not that worldly and I don’t really follow the whole beauty pageant thing because I find the concept annoying. It turns out that this girl who is obviously out of the pageant industry is doing what any drunk girl who was forced into beauty pageants all her life would do and that’s get breast implants and hang out with party sluts who encourage her to flash her tits to the camera for publicity. As much as I don’t like beauty pageants, I do like drunk girls crying for attention and that’s why I am posting these.

I remember knowing this girl who was the Prom Queen in her highschool, she was also the valedictorian, captain of the cheerleading team, involved in student government, student sports teams and had a scholarship to some good college. I met her after she crashed from all the pressure she put on herself to be the best at everything she did and had dropped out of school, cut off her parents, took up drinking, stripping and turning minor tricks to pay the bills. It was like seeing the girl who had everything going for her give all that opportunity the finger and take on the self-destructive path to nowhere.

Since I never heard of this Sophie Cahill chick, I can’t say she’s doing the same thing, but if she is, I’d probably pay at least 15 dollars a song to touch her fake titties.

I started smoking cheap cigars, because cheap is what I do and I was tired of craving cigarettes. I haven’t smoked in 10 months and think about it at least 5 times a day, every day. I don’t inhale these things, but the act of smoking relaxes me. That doesn’t mean I like sucking cock. I also drank a bottle of wine tonight because I like to pretend I am living large. After a sobering walk I came home and told one of my stepdaughters about my sex life before her fat mother destroyed my sex drive with her cellulite-ridden ass. I don’t think she appreciated the story of the 19 year old who I drank a 40 oz bottle of rum with and the proceeded to teach how to strip to her mix DJ tape. This was about 10 years ago. After an hour of her running around my house with her panties off and the last of the rum was consumed, I told her it was lap dance time. When she started grinding me and shovin’ her ass in my face, I couldn’t resist diving in mouth first. So the lesson of the day is that honesty is more effective with a little discretion….especially when talking to your stepdaughter about getting underage girls (in the USA) drunk and teaching them how to be strippers. Speaking of 19 year old drunken stripping whores, here are some pictures of Lohan showing a tight-upskirt in the UK where she leaves a restaurant called Cipriani to go to a club called Kabaret, where she proceeded to get drunk, high and pregnant with an AIDS baby that she’s going to give to Angelina Jolie, because Angelina likes Aids babies and Lohan has Aids, at least that’s the story I heard.

Yes – She’s wearing Panties this time.

BONUS – NEW BOX SHOT

I am officially an idiot, I was saw these pictures yesterday and I was debating whether I should post them or not because they looked like they were fake. I wake up this morning and they are all over the motherfucking place and here I am sitting on the golden Lohan pussy shot that would have made me rich. If any fucking site should be posting this shit it should have been me because I am the Lohan stalker and because I sleep in, and the fact that I sleep on pictures that look fake. These are probably reasons why I am not successful.

That said. I should learn to trust my instincts. Like the time I was getting down with this slutty girl and she insisted we use a condom and I was all like – Fuck that shit, I don’t roll like that, 4-6 weeks later I was pissing fire. Speaking of Fire, here are the Lohan pics, which unfortunately don’t have any orange pubic hair because bitch waxes. She obviously doesn’t know that redheads aren’t supposed to go bald and that they have to embrace their orange pubes because that is the main reason a motherfucker’s slamming them. We’ve all heard that orange pussy exists we just want to see what an orange pussy looks like. I guess another reason someone would slam a redhead could be because dude’s drunk at the bar and she’s the last one standing because redheads are like super heros and are always the last to fall. I have a whole theory that involves them being thought of as devils when they were born in the middle ages and how their parents would throw them in the woods to survive making the redheaded gene a strong one. But that’s no the point, the point is Lohan’s box is not as mangled as I thought.