These Freida Pinto for Esquire UK pics could not have come at a better time….because I am currently working on making myself famous in India….USA fame is too overrated…and having over a billion people….half of which are girls…works for my non existant self esteem….so I figure the best way is to post and praise these dots not feathers….esepcially when they are half naked….even when knowing that Dev Petel awkwardness has cum inside her….now I’m gonna go back to researching India pop culture to have better jokes that only they get, since I’m tired of you and moving on internationally…

Here’s Bollywood pussy that belongs to Dev Patel cuz he gets her, you know with the whole being the only two Indian (dot not feather) actors who have made it in America, even though she’s far better looking than him, you know good enough to even land a famous white actor, but famous white actors can’t give her uterus Indian (dot not feather) babies…and apparently that’s something important to ethnic people….at least that’s what I’ve concluded on the stinky immigrant bus I sometimes take…

She’s leaving pilates or yoga cuz she’s cliche like that….you know being into Yoga and from India is almost like being American and owning a gun…only a lot more peaceful, thanks Ghandi, and she’s covering her stomach, which means pregnancy…cuz that’s how these secret arranged marriages work…trade goat for daughter, daughter make baby, move to america, open convenience store or butter chicken and nan bread store…only this is hollywood….

I have no idea why I did that post….

Leave it up to America to take a wholesome, naturally beautiful, Indian girl and get her to take off her clothes to show our culture what she’s been hiding in her colorful silk dress, to get it into their heads that she’s worth masturbating to or some shit that really doesn’t matter, because she’s done it, it’s too late for her, she’s tainted and I guess I should be lovin’ it because I am lovin’ her right now, but kinda feel like I did when I found out my high school sweetheart wasn’t a virgin last year when I first got with her.

That said, I saw Slumdog Millionaire last night because I felt obligated to. I wasn’t surprised to see a girl he’s been chasing all his fucking life come out of the woodwork when he was slated to win 20,000,000 rupees. All bitches seem to be nothin’ but gold diggers. Good thing I don’t have to worry about any of that shit, you know….since I am poor. At least I know who my real friends are…I mean…if I had real friends…