Want to know what I hate about Ashley Greene, other than the fact that she’s in that piece of shit emo movie Twilight, a movie you’d probably expect me to like because it is porn for teenage girls, but I can’t see past the fact that the cast isn’t hot, everyone is a shade of green like a bad Fall Out Boy Music video and most importantly there are no exposed tits or genitals, so the idea teen girls masturbate over it and it’s implied eroticism doesn’t do shit for me….I hate that she was one of those teenage girls back home in Florida who planned a modeling career for herself. She was that girl who you see in bars or who is in your classroom who acted too good for everyone else because she thought she was too good for everyone else and on weekends she’d go to modeling agencies asking to get signed, only to be told she’s too short which is code for too fat and ugly, and I guess her perseverance led her into Hollywood, but the good news is that she’s not too famous to pump her fuckin’ gas. She’s just a bottom feeder holdin’ on, hoping this Twilight thing lasts another 10 years cuz it is her lottery ticket or some shit.

Pics via INF

Here are some pictures of Christina Ricci and her big ol’ head with a stupid fucking haircut, walking out of some kind of gas station with drinks she won’t be pouring all over her tits in video, because she hates her tits, she even tried to murder the fuckers a few years back by cutting them off, but the nipples may have survived, which isn’t something I can say for the rest of her looks, because there was a time she was the young goth I wanted to fuck, and now she just reminds me of the remains of the sacrificial animal she has burried in her backyard from those dark years, and by that I mean garbage…

Someone keeps buzzing my door and I am not answering it. I have come to the realization that people don’t like me and potentially could want me dead so I just lock myself up in this place until I run out of food. The flaw in this plan is that I live with my wife and she likes to eat and I already caught her eating our last can of beans and I’ve only been in lock down for 15 minutes.

Either way, I know that you don’t care about my insanity and paranoia, but based on the hate mail I get daily, you’d probably understand it. Before I decided to go into lock down, I was out getting a coffee and this tiny girl was wearing some cleavage exposing shirt and her nipples were hanging out every time she moved. She was probably just about 5 foot and had all the same proportions as a tall chick, like long legs for her body and all that shit, but she was just in a smaller package, kinda like my penis, because at one time it looked it just doesn’t live up to the measurement test, but that’s not the point, the point is that Hayden Panettiere is also about 5 foot tall but not proportionate at all, unless you’re comparing her to a tank in which case, she probably is. Here she is pumping her own gas, I guess they didn’t get the pics of her changing her tires and the oil while building a shed in her backyard, cuz that’s just the kind of dude she is.

Bonus – Some Hayden Nipple Action Leaving the Gym