This is a true story for those of you who care, I was in the middle of writing this post on the Grammy’s. I was getting all worked up about how fucking irritating they are and how I can’t stomach the bullshit they spew from Jay Z and Coldplay duets, to a bunch of rappers in black and white, to two teenage popstars claiming to be best friends, even though we all know they hate each other and jealous of each other’s success in fucking the other one’s boyfriend, to the Jonas Brother’s a Stevie Wonder and Dean Martin getting a nod years after his death, when it hit me…..

I had a dizzy spell, I fell to the ground, got back up and checked my pulse, it was beating fucking fast, like so fast I thought it was the end of my life and couldn’t even count because there was no blood getting to my fucking brain, so I called 911, then cancelled because I can’t handle the whole stretcher scene I’ll cause in my building, so I took a cab there, spent 8 hours in Emergency, had a few tests only to be told it’s either the coffee I drank, or a fucking blood clot, so if my legs swell, go back to the hospital if not, I’m good to go.

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t fucking know what these pudgy legs look like swollen or not swollen, they always look fucking swollen to me, I’m fat as fuck, anyway, I didn’t die, but I blame this Grammy’s post for doing it to me and I wasn’t gonna let that fucker win….

That said, I wasn’t going to bother posting every picture of every celebrity asshole at the fucking Grammy’s, so I chose to only post the ones showing off their tits, because their tits are really all I care about, since I know they all have rank pussy. Yes, I used the same fucking line in the last post, repetition makes my life easier.

Either way, I felt I need to finish it and post it to celebrate being alive another day…

Audrina and her new face….if she’s there this Grammy shit must be legit

Meatloaf and Mary Kate Olsen….

Lisa Rinna and Her Plastic Body Parts…

Some Chick Who’s Last Name is Veronica Who I’ve Never Heard Of…

Marisa Miller Cuz She’s a Model and Has Tight Body, Even If She Looks Like She’s Had One Too Many Groupie Cumshots on Tour Buses in Her Youth of Many Years Ago…

The CSI Chick Fatter than Ever But Still Hotter Than All These Whores…

Paris Hilton Because I Am Friends With Some Girl Pretending To Be Her on Facebook….Not Because I Think Her Tits are Hot…

A Little Brooke Hogan Cuz She’ll Never Win a Grammy So She Goes to Dream

Nikki Cox and Her Fake Lips and Big Ol’ Tits and Her Comedian Idol Host Boyfriend…

Some American Idol Piece of Shit….

Some Wayne’s World Piece of Shit…

Some Natalie Cole Duet With Her Dead Father and By Father I Mean Tits…

I watched the Grammys, I had no choice. I have 2 channels and I live with 3 girls. I guess it wasn’t so bad because I had a bottle of Vodka by my side. I don’t really remember much about the actual awards, my wife’s fat breathing muffled the sound of the TV. I do remember watching Madonna open up the show in a body suit/leotard thing. Now I don’t know why, but for the last 7 months, this kind of outfit is the biggest turn on for me. They sell them at american apparel and hipster bitches everywhere rock them, and they are the new booty short for me. They remind me of my 20s when bodysuits were the biggest shirt product of 1993, They remind me of my flashdance and aerobic fetish. I think it’s because I get to watch the vagina in all it’s glory, like watching a girl in her underwear, only the underwear’s got suspenders ensuring snugness, and people say I am a pervert. Either way, I am glad hipsters and little Jewish girls wear these now, cuz motherfucker, this is one thing that may bring me out of my bout with impotence, if that is possible, I am not a doctor. Madonna didn’t get me hard, and all I could thing about was that babies have filtered through that cooter, which surprisingly remained pretty well contained. Here’s to bitches in leotards…that dance…for me… when I am drunk.

Watch Madonna’s Performance Here

American Apparel Leotard (turns me on)