I get a lot of hate from people who have little goin on in their lives who get worked up over celebrities enough to get mad when I say that Scarlett Johansson is a fucking pig of a girl. From her first movie until now, whenever I have looked at her, I’ve seen a potentially obese girl, who just happened to not be obese since it would be the end of her career, while everyone else sees this goddess with big tits and big lips who embodies classic Hollywood, while all I see lips that act like football pads who break the impact when she’s shoveling food down her throat and someone who happens to hold her 15 pound surplus in the right part of her but that will spill over into the rest of her and based on these pics, it seems like the end is fucking near…

And here are some pictures of Ryan Reynolds pretty much agreeing with my observation but delivering it in a less painful way by taking her fat ass to the gym and masking it an excursion where they can spend some time together because they have such busy schedules and usually barely see each other, but in reality it is to help his erection function when she gets naked by stopping the sloppy, but then again he was engaged to Alanis when he was a nobody and she is probably the ugliest head in pop music in the last 2 decades, so that just shows the magnitude of how serious this shit is and how desperate he is.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Paris Hilton is always out lookin’ for dick. Whether she’s dating someone or not, she’s working on filling her empty soul by filling her wobbly vagina. She’s even gone so far as to incorporate subliminal messages when she walks down the street to make the outsider think she’s actually promoting environmental issues, like the useless celebrity who bounces on causes like she bounces from cock to cock, because her only real issue or concern is herself, and thepeople who know her, or who have been inside her, know the “Go Green” is in reference to fucking her fungus filled pussy and not about recycling or hydrogen fuel cells.

I am not sure if you know this, but DJ AM is a geek, just a geek who has managed to make a career out of the shit he geek’s on. That’s not too shocking, because pretty much every single DJ I’ve met over the years has been a geek, you have to be to know all the songs to play, to sit at turntables hour after hour learning how to scratch or mix or whatever the fuck they do, all fueled by them being tired of being the loser in the back of the club, and wanting to be the star of the fucking show, because girls flock to the star of the show, whether it’s a local guy at a rockbar or one of these superstar motherfuckers, because girls are competitive and want to be the woman next to the man who all the other women want or at least the man who’s the center of attention, because they want to be the center of attention, even if the guy’s a fucking geek. It’s some crazy shit that makes no sense to me.

What does make sense to me though, is that DJ AM, would use his club as a place to promote the New Star Trek movie, not only because he’s a Jew who likes gettin’ paid, but because he has spent many lonely nights before he became a millionaire success story, jerking off to green skinned bitches, because Star Trek was his favorite show and these bitches put out.

That said, you are probably a Star Trek kinda guy, so I figured you’d like seeing this girls who moved to LA to be the next Tara Reid, trying to work their way/sleep their way to a real job, but forced to take these low level jobs to pay there rent. I hear they’ll be at Costco next week handing out toilet paper samples. Watch out for it

I got into conversation with some 18 year old hot chick the other day. She was on the bus reading some US Weekly or InStyle magazine, because in case you didn’t know, 18 year old girls are hooked on this celebrity scandal bullshit, and she was talking to her friend about what the fuck is going on in Josh Duhamel’s mind for marrying Fergie. She couldn’t get why a guy so good lookin would marry a girl so hard who really has nothing hot about her. I chimed in and said because he’s a faggot, loves cock in his mouth and can’t let the world know, so he settled for the closest thing he could find. They laughed awkwardly and changed seats.

The truth is that maybe they are in love, hot girls date ugly guys all the fucking time, maybe Fergie gives the meanest blowjob, you know cuz having been born with a dick she apparently has a first hand knowledge of how to work one.

Sure the tranny shit’s old, but she looks like this bodybuilder stripper who used to do chin ups on stage who I always got lap dances from because no one else wanted her and I can never turn down a deal, even if it makes me question my sexuality, but maybe she’s a nice girl.

Here she is in the green bikini that has been milked pretty hard this week. Something, Josh Duhamel knows all too much about.