Kelly Ripa, my 9 am McDonald’s bathroom masturbation inspiration, because that’s the only place I get to watch TV, brought her dick of a belly button out in her bikini again. She looks better than most mom’s do, but that’s no excuse to continue my masturbation fantasy about her, I’m gonna just save my reserve for Whoopi who comes on at 11 because she seems a little dirtier and like she’s got her dick in the right motherfuckin’ place. I’m not gay or anything, I mean she does play a woman on TV every morning, so fuck you for judging.