The funny thing about seeing Britney riding a horse in Cabo has nothing to do with beastiality, but more with her finally knowing what every guy that fucked her in the fat, depressed, unwashed years felt like, if anything the only difference about the Horse and Britney at her worst is that when the horse pisses and shits itself, it doesn’t make a mess of the bed sheets.

These pictures reminded me of something that happened yesterday. I was sitting on the stoop minding my own business and some chick rides up to me on a bike. She tells me that she forgot her lock and needs someone to watch her shit. I told her that I would be sitting there for a while, because I have nothing better to do, but I am not someone she should trust, because if the offer comes up I will sell it for drug money. She left it with me anyway and I thought of all the different ways I could get back at her for giving me this repsonsibility. I could give it away or put a sign on it that says “take me”, I could hide it, or I could take the air out of the tires to just be a dick. Instead I convinced my pervert friend who I was with to sniff the seat when she came to get the bike, just to make her feel awkward about the whole thing so he did it and I laughed.