The paparazzi say these are pictures of Lindsay Lohan and I don’t really see it, because whatever the fuck is hiding under this hood, looks more like some kind of troll that some young, washed up, haggard starlet. Maybe it has to do with her feeling inadequate for not being allowed in the Golden Globes, forcing her to go on a rampage fucking up her face with botox and collagen and when she realized she had to leave her house to go get wasted in order to forget how miserable and useless she’s become on this Blue Monday, she got strategic in her clothes. If this is actually Lohan, her body is still hot enough for me, I just wish she was showing off a little more lesbian pussy, just to see if it still looks as haggard and meaty as it did back when she shoved every single dick in it….
I don’t really know what botox mishap made Jaime Pressly’s face look like this, but the good news is that it didn’t fuck up the rest of her body and anyone who knows me knows that a busted up face never stopped me from getting hard for a bitch, especially when the busted up face was a result of my fists…in fact a busted up everything never stopped me from getting hard for a bitch…I’ll fuck the cripples just as fast as I’ll fuck the fat chicks, vagina just has that kind of effect on me, it clouds my judgement….
It looks like all Mila Kunis is gonna get for Christmas is ugly….I don’t know what happened to her, because I saw her in at least one movie and she looked pretty alright and I remember her from 70s Show and despite being 12 year old, she was the best looking one, which compared to the manly redhead, that may not be saying much, but I didn’t expect her to ever look like this. I can only blame Culkin for taking down his dark and slippery road that took him from being the cute loveable kid in Home Alone to the cute loveable kid Michael Jackson was cumming inside, like some kind of fuck-slut…or maybe it’s totally unrelated, and really I’d take her as is, or with her whatever addicition and diseases her love affair with Culkin has brought her vagina over the years, cuz even at her worst, she’s better than some of the shit I’ve stuck my dick in, except that time I fucked a ziploc bag filled with yogurt and broken glass because the pain, blood and soothing vanilla scent reminded me that I was alive…
I figure that it was never quite gay to jerk off to Michael Jackson, not because I spend a good year doing it, but because his voice was angelic, his talent possibly sent from god, his sexuality and gender pretty ambigious and really more on the no penis in his pants side of things. It was on the same level as a dude jerking off to an Anime movie, or a comic book character, he was just bigger than life, almost non-human sent from another planet to seduce us and manipulate us thru song but I do think it is weird to jerk off to him now that he’s pretending to be dead, and living as a muslim woman in the desert somewhere to escape his demons here…..that’s where LaToya the stand in pussy comes in. She’s like some kind of MJ fluff girl, picking up the slack from him now that he’s dropped the balls he never really had and manned up and escaped the hell he is living and her body is pretty fucking tight lookin…not to mention one I have jerked off to decades ago when she worked for Playboy…good times…
You know you are either seriously desperate or very fucking weird or Amish to be able to get off to a girls bra as seen thru her sleeve when she lifts her arm and you notice realize shit may be sheer. That’s the kind of thing that was even too obscure or non sexual to me when I was a teenager and was able to jerk off to panty lines in gym clothes, but I guess as we get older our standards and priorities shift, because that’s just what being a pervert is all about, and all of a sudden shit that never turned us on starts to because we’ve become so accustomed to standard turn ons, and because there is just something mystical and erotic about shitting on a girls face, if you know what I mean…
Kate Beckinsale’s a mom. That always amazes me because the mom’s I know just don’t look like this. She’s got a hot fuckin’ body and her being worth fucking is the one thing I can agree with those virgin comic book losers who buy multiple copies of the movie Underworld, you know one to keep in the package, one to use to watch, one as a back up because virgin comic book losers are good collectors, excpet when it comes to collecting memories of all the pussy they’ve fucked, I mean that and that masturbation rocks.
These are some pictures of Ashely Green from Twilight, a movie I will never watch based on books I will never read, so I only know her as some bitch who leaked some nude pics on the internet a few months ago and like a cunt, decided to go after everyone who posted the pictures with Lawyer’s letters threatening to sue us, even though we were doing her a favor and taking part in the marketing scam she planned, in efforts to make her look like she was violated and not like the whore that she is, proving to the world and all the girls who have that old school mentality that posting pictures of themselves naked on the internet will ruin them, when in reality, it does the total fucking opposite…it makes you look like a victim we all want to fuck, so I guess we should thank you for giving a taste of that back with this photoshoot.
Here’s the only thing good that came out of the VMAs, other than a Kanye being a dick publicity stunt the news have fucking exhaust because he’s a broken down, rebel who is angry at the world cuz his mom died and she never lived to accept his homosexuality that even he hasn’t accepted, and the Twilight extended trailer for all you idiot Twilight fans, or even the Janet Jackson singing Michael Jackson before his dad ran their movie trailer for the film “Not our last attempt to exploit our dead son”, and it is Alessandra Ambrosio, I know a day late, but when I saw these pics I was like “Finally, a woman I have nothing bad to say about even after she had a kid” and that doesn’t happen often, so if anything we should all collectively masturbate to her and cum at the same time in some kind of new age fireworks show like we were Chinese and that isn’t gay unless some of us start doing it in the room together, which we won’t because we don’t have friends, we only have each other….
Ines Sastre is some model turned actress from Spain who I doubt I’ve heard of, but have probably done posts on, but unfortunately I have a horrible memory and everything kind of blurs into one giant confused mess that is this site, but fuck, she’s got an amazing mom body, like the women I saw at 8:30 in the morning today while still drunk, only they were wearing their business casual outfits and not one-piece bathing suits to cover their mom stretch marks with ass hugging skirts/dresspants and button down blouses that were almost sheer, making me want to get a office job in the cubicle next to them, even though I could tell in their exhausted eyes that they hated how life played out for them, just enough depression needed to convince them to fuck me in the copyroom after gaining their trust. Unfortunately for me, I hate office jobs and would never sacrifice freedom for pussy, especially pussy I know wouldn’t actually give me the time of day, they just do that in my fantasies….
It feels like something has died inside of me. I am not sure if it is an animal that crawled up my ass and couldn’t find it’s way out, or it it is one of my vital organs pullin a Michael Jackson/Farrah Fawcett/Ed McMahon/The Infomercial dude who bumbed his head, and I think it because I found out that this bitch fucked Shia LeBeef, but probably has more to do with my severe alcoholism that leads me to drinkin in gutters with degenerates and ex circus performers….
The thing I love about crazy chicks is that they are fuckin’ easy and don’t really know what the fuck they are doing when following you down a dark alley to go down on you and give you the best head of your life for free. The thing I don’t like about crazy chicks is the aids.
I spent the night with a girl who was drunk and going through some emotional distress, and in that distress decided to talk my ear off about the hardtimes, in the process she spilled 3/4 of her drink on me, which didn’t really phase me until she decided to feed me drink like I was a baby bird and I couldn’t resist because I never turn down free booze, so here I am having a girl put drink in her mouth then spit it in my mouth and here I am with this dirty backwash, from this crazy girl, thinkin’ shit like “Do I swallow?”, “Is this one sip worth potential disease”, “Why does it taste like cigarette and semen?”, “Why do I know what semen tastes like?”, “This is really a weird conversation with myself”, so I just swallowed and will keep you posted on whether I am dying…
I was just doing my morning ritual of watching a 30 minute infomercial on leprosy, as I tend to do as often as I can, because there’s nothing more inspiring to get my day started with some rotting, mangled limbs. The weirdest thing about it is that they were playing the shit on the McDonald’s TVs I get my fix from, making my McMuffin scraps I convinced an old lady to buy me, by helping myself to her change purse and telling her I’d fuck her up if she complained, which I think turned her on, because old ladies tend to not get dick, but still have needs, so threatening them with fucking, is probably not the right approach, but none of that matters, what does matter is that Amy Winehouse in a bikini, was the perfect follow up to the leper commercial, because like a leper, parts of her are rotting, mangled and falling off. In her case it is her vagina and seeing her up in this other girl brings me thoughts of them bumping box together with flakes of skin, wetness and the smell of death filling the room, and that is fucking inspiring…
Here is Rihanna giving us a peak of some lingerie, I guess because now that she’s been beat she wants the whole experience and is out trying to get raped by wearing suggestive clothing, unfortunately I am not down with raping pictures of chicks, mainly because I don’t have a printer, but also becuase it’s a humiliating experience that I just like talking about.
Kate Bosworth is one of those girls who I never really bothered noticing and I am really not sure why. Maybe she hasn’t been in enough movies I’ve seen. Maybe the paparazzi don’t follow her around enough, maybe she doesn’t really have enough scandlas, but she I am falling in love. This is exactly what a girl should look like, even though she’s not showing off anything, not flashing anything, not slipping anything, she looks clean and like the kind of girl you wouldn’t wish you used a dental dam on when you spend the day licking her pussy.
So if you don’t look like this, or your girl doesn’t look like this, you best print these pictures and bring it to your plastic surgeon, or post it on your fridge, cuz otherwise it’s just not worth living. Seriously. Kill yourself.
Lisa Rinna is old, doctored, and pretty fucking fit. She’s in this month’s playboy, I haven’t seen it yet, but with that vagina on her face, I guess there’s really no point in seeing her actual pussy, it’ll just be some deflated mess in her panties that will just let me down and my life is filled with enough of that, so I don’t want to deal with it right now. You know keep the dream of a collagen pussy alive.
I think these pics are from the weekend and hit yesterday, I’m slow. Deal with it.
Hey Fat Chicks, if you’re wondering how she stays fit, watch this video….
