George Clooney is dating some Italian pussy, because clearly she puts out, since it is good for her career, but unfortunately she’s not quite enough of a whore for me, because she was rockin’ a pair of panties under her see thru dress, making me think if she really wanted to make it, she’d step her shit up a notch, but then I remembered George Clooney owns her, so she’d be pretty set if she stayed clothed and that she’s just doing this see thru shit gratuitously for us to want to fuck her and for that she deserves a fucking Oscar, but first she needs Hollywood to give her some fuckin’ work.

Get on it fuckers.

Pics via Bauer and
Pics via Fame

I am learning that life is all about balance. It’s only taken me about 40 years to realize that. So now for every drink I have, I drink a glass of water and I’ve found the hangover to be less abusive. Every time I do it, I feel like an obnoxious muscle man chachi who orders egg white omelettes when I take my girlfriend who I met at the gym out for breakfast on a Sunday morning after spending a quiet saturday night at home looking at myself in the mirror. The kind of guy who thinks he’s living on the edge when asking the waitress for a little cheese and toast on the side, because it goes against the strict diet so that I will live a longer life with muscles to look at.

So in taking on this new balanced life I feel I should apply it to all aspects of my life including this site, so as a reaction to the horrible ass I just posted, here are some pictures of Italian model Melissa Satta in a bikini looking amazing. I don’t know when they were taken, but I am glad they were taken, because the beauty of the camera is that it captures a moment in time that we can just keep revisiting and revisiting until depression sets in and our penises cry when we realize we’ll never land a chick this hot in our useless lives.

I don’t like Italians only because of their gay little vespa scooters. That shit is so fucking homo that I can taste the cock while walking by the Vespa store near my my house. If you are wondering why I know what cock tastes like, it’s cuz I spent some time in prison. Either way, this bitch is some kinda famous in Italy – I don’t know what she does or how she does it, but I got no problem lookin at her ass while she’s doing it.