If you can jerk off to this, you can jerk off to anything and your resistance to the elements and ability to perform is something I commend and think should be celebrated instead of frowned. Thanks to the Internet, we live in a generation of freaks. There was a time when people could jerk off to lingerie catalogs, pictures of women in bikinis, Baywatch, National Geographic and even sniffing a pair of our sisters dirty panties. We didn’t need bondage or scat or violence or simulated rape or porn with girls in braces or porn with girls who are sleeping or porn with girls who pretend to be bleeding virgins or any of the other shit that is out there, so it’s nice to know someone out there can get off to the simple things in life, like a skinny bitch in a fat world, just walking down the street with her skinny legs in skinny jeans..even if she’s not all that hot and named after the worst month of the year….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

My gay friend loves the show Mad Men. He watches the shit all the fucking time and is obsessed with the concept of smoking on drinking on the job, except when it comes to me telling him stories about me smoking and drinking on the job, which triggers him to take a motherly approach and lecture me about how I am killing myself because I don’t get a enough hugs leading him to start hugging me to which I reply “you’re killing yourself because you had too many hugs, and by hugs I mean unprotected anal with strangers that gave you AIDS so stop hugging me, because I don’t want to get AIDS like this and if I need to get it any way, it’ll be by fucking a dirty, hot pussy, not by accidentally drinking some of the tears of the overbearing gay man in my life crying over my self destructive ways”….and I am sure he doesn’t watch the show because of this January Jones bitch and her stupid calendar name, or her tits that are in GQ this month….