Everyone’s been focusing on Sly Stalone in these beach pictures, mainly because he’s 60 and jacked and obviously on steroids and that seems to be a big deal to gossip reporters, but the truth is, dude has been ripped for the last 25 years and who really gives a fuck about an old tired man holding onto his youth as tightly as he can, especially when he’s prancing around with his wife, who is in a bikini and a lot easier on the fuckin’ eyes than the freak of nature she is married to.

Speaking of freaks, I was walking downtown last night and a bunch of guys were brawling with Hockey Sticks, like seriously beating the fuck out of each other like they were Rocky, and despite all the blood and damage done, I thought the whole thing was pretty fuckin’ funny considering we’re in Canada, like these motherfuckers couldn’t have just used rocks or knives or guns like normal people, they had to go out and fuel a fuckin’ stereotype.

I guess who cares about my story, just look at these pics.