Sloppy Seconds!! I guess what it comes down to is that everyone is sloppy seconds, shit just becomes weirder when the bitch is a divorcee, you know with their baggage, their kids, with their herpes Canseco brought home from Away Games. The only thing good about them is that they are so emotionally detached and like to fuck enough to call on you every couple of days to fill their 35 year old sexual peakin’ pussy, you know when they aren’t too busy fucking the 8 other dudes she’s got on the side, including the ex husband who she still sucks off when he drops off the kids after taking them for the weekend, because they’ve got history. Either way, based on her legs and pussy area, I’d get up on that like I was Jeremy Piven too.

I got this email from a reader who was at the Playboy mansion for some party the other day, because I guess some people who read the site are heavily more important and hooked up than me. I have a hard enough time being allowed into the local Dunkin Donuts because despite having a huge homeless following, they don’t seem to appreciate my loitering. Either way here’s the email I got:

Dear Jesus,

I was at the Playboy Mansion for some party a little while ago and while I was doing my fair share of drinking and hustling hot chicks who were either in Playboy or trying to be in Playboy and managed to get into the event in hopes of being discovered, I noticed that Jeremy Piven from Entourage was there too. Now, I don’t consider this guy a celebrity at all and I have little to no interest in him because he pretty much looks like he’s just as annoying as his character on the show, but when I saw his coked up drunken ass begging this chick to come home with him, I had no choice but to document the moment. I was close enough to hear his lame jokes about sex and his bragging about how girls really love him but how he doesn’t like all the attention he gets just because he’s on tv, something I knew was all part of his game. The girl gave him a good 10 minutes but I guess she realized he was running some weak game treating her like some kind of dumb bitch he probably gets to go home with him in clubs and she wasn’t about to lower herself to that level or maybe it was the fact that he was sweating profusely and looked like a total fucking mess. I guess none of that matters, but it would be funny if you posted this pic and gave us all your take on Jeremy Piven.

I am not a fan of Jeremy Piven or the fact that girls constantly prove to be idiot groupies whenever I see pictures of him with some hot young slut, because I know that she just wants to famous and dude manipulates her by making her think that getting with him is some kind of accomplishment on her part and possibly the closest she’ll get to be famous. It’s sad to see hot girls lower themselves to sleep with dudes they normally wouldn’t because they see him on TV, but dude still gets laid all the time and despite being rejected by this one, I am sure there’s a couple school bus full of drunk party sluts who think banging him will be the closest they ever get to banging Adrian Grenier and that going home with him is a better stamp of approval than going home with some other poorer, less famous drunken motherfucker in the bar that they’d normally go home with if Piven hadn’t chosen them for the night. Celebrity means pussy and despite not being a celebrity, girls will always go home with guys they’ve seen anywhere, even in the Sears catalog just because they recognize the motherfucker and I guess that’s because girls are all groupy sluts even if the motherfucker doesn’t deserve groupies.

This was sent in from the fine people at MisanthropyToday

Jeremy Piven proves to the world that despite being overweight, bald and old, you can still get prime pussy, so long as you star on a TV show and treat everyone around you like shit because you think you are more famous than you are. This fake titty whore is definitely on some climbing the ladder shit, where Piven is the first wrung and the good news about that is that it doesn’t really matter what wrung you are as long as you are a wrung because when this bitch moves on to more important dick to further her career, there will be 100 new girls who are just as hot willing to jump through the hoops and by hoops I mean on your dick, because that’s just the way things are when you’re semi-famous and overpaid for offering the world nothing more than playing a useless role on a cable show, because these kinds of girls just over-achieving sluts but sluts nonetheless. So look at these pics and accept the fact that you made a shitty career move by taking that job at the factory when you should have swallowed your sexuality and taken your shot at acting because despite all the hot pussy and money, it’s still a career for homos.