I have had at least 1 email about this dude named Jesus Martinez who sold his 14 year old daughter for beer, meat and some cash. I just wanted to clear things up and let you all know that isn’t me. I wasn’t clever enough to sell my stepdaughter when she was still prime real estate and if I was, it would have been for a lot of money for her virginity and then by the hour and not for marriage to one dude for 16,000 dollars. Also, I am smart enough to know that if the dude didn’t pay up, I wouldn’t have called the cops to get myself arrested for underage prostitution, I would have just broke some fuckin’ legs, so now that that’s cleared up, I can go back to writing about useless celebrities I don’t care about and who don’t inspire me. Sluts.

On a side note the police said:

In the Oaxacan community, such an agreement is “normal and honorable,” he said. “In California, it’s against the law.”

So now you know where to retire….the Mexican state of Oaxaca,

Bonus – Here’s a List of the Dowry…to See What the Dad Thought the Daughter was Worth….