No one seems to support my quest to seduce some Maxim chick over the internet by making her win the Hometown Hotties Contest. I got one email, which is a lot of me, about how I’m a loser sell out of trying to get you guys to help me get a bowling date with this Jody bitch. It was going to be my greatest stepTV clip yet and now it will never happen.

To prove my point that Jody deserves to win this contest, I ripped off some self-shot underwear pics off her facebook. I am pretty confident that she will end up suing me for hacking this shit, but I think it’ll improve her chances of winning because we like girls who take pictures of themselves in the mirror while rockin’ their underwear. Her body is bangin’ I don’t care what you say, I just care that you vote, because I want this date to happen. Help a brother out….

If you’re going to vote in the Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest, I demand you vote for Jody. The truth is I reached out to her and told her that I have the power to make her win, which means if she wins she’ll want to bang me, and having some hot chick who is the Hometown Hottie in Maxim want to bang me for hookin’ her up is pretty much livin’ the dream….because I like hot chicks wanting to repay me with their vaginas.

Now the reason I reached out to Jody is because her body blew me the fuck away. She is tight and looks like she’d be a solid girl, one who takes care of you like a mother and fucks you like a whore, and is pretty much has everything I want in a Hometown Hottie and a wife. She was born for this shit and started off working when she was younger selling lemonade in her bathing suit because she knew what her calling was, like the Hotel Manager who wouldn’t give me Jared Leto’s room number because he was born into a family of Hotel Managers and has been working towards hotel management since he was 5, whatever the fuck that means, all I know is that he wouldn’t take 1000 dollars to give me the info, not that I would have paid him because I don’t have 1000 dollars, but he didn’t know that.

Either way, the point of this post is to say that if Jody doesn’t win. I am going to quit this site and move to LA to park in a van outside her apartment until she forgives me for my lies, or calls the cops and gets me arrested. Don’t let us down and Make Jody the Hometown Hotties Contest Winner.