Kelly Osbourne looks so bummed, literally, you know, cuz she’s got her hands all over Coco’s ass and posted it to Twitter, I guess so shaken up about the death of her “best friend” who she was such a good friend to that she really got involved and did all she could to prevent that death that was probably pretty preventable….You know, tired of all the tears the paparazzi captured and statements she’s been making about how broken up she is…and taking a break from all that sadness and getting on with her life…and what better way to do that than to grab Coco’s ass…it’s like some kind of amusment park ride…only more manhandled and used…cuz you don’ climb the whore ladder and marry a celebrity without a whole lot of practice….

In other news – Kelly Osbourne called Christina Aguilera the fat cunt she was born to be….fascinating….

Here are some recent pictures of Coco at some bullshit event showing off her bullshit body…

Being the kind of guy who can get off to Kelly Osbourne makes you weird….you know with all the fatness that was never worth masturbating to even when it got skinny unless you’re an Ozzy fan and want some of the product of his sperm that stuck to uterus…

Being the kind of guy who can get off to people at funerals makes you even weirder….you know with all the sadness and mourning death and celebrating life morbid shit…

But being the kind of guy who can get off to Kelly Osbourne at a funeral makess you the weirdest….it’s up there with necrophilia…she’s the kind of girl that if you were forced to choose whether to fuck her or the corpse being mourned, you’d likely choose the corpse cuz it would likely be more pleasurable…and less traumatic….

I love having these useless conversations with myself…I don’t love this post…it is fucking depressing me….cuz I’ve had good friends die of drug overdoses, and the shit is fucked, you can’t make a person stop doing drugs, and getting that call is always horrible….even though you know it’s coming….so I’m not all bad…as unattractive as I find Klly Osbourne…I can relate to what she’s going through…see girls…I’ve got a soul…not as much as Amy Winehouse’s music that I was a huge fan of but you should still let me eat you out…

It is safe to say that Kelly Osbourne just looked at herself in the mirror….

Or maybe…just maybe she’s pretending to be Amy Winehouse’s best friend in the world who is destroyed by the fact that she’s died at least when the paparazzi are looking….

Because you know with death comes lots of people who take ownership on the shit….

Or maybe….they actually are friends…bother tormented by addiction who used to get high together, before Kelly went to rehab and turned her back on those friends who brought her down….only to lose one and think that shit “that coulda been me”….

I’ve been there before…I feel her pain…but prefer thinking she just looked in the mirror…it is less depressing that way…and way more jokes..

Kelly Osbourne, like all fat girls before her who have lost weight for a minute, has gone back to being fat…..and the funny thing about the whole thing is that when a fat bitch gets skinny, she usually goes back to being even fatter, I guess that’s the road Kelly Osbourne is on….corset or not, we know what’s going on here you fat ugly monster of a pig.

I don’t know why anyone thought she’d be different during that minute she wasn’t as fat as usual…More importantly, I don’t know why anyone would care about Kelly Osbourne enough to notice whether she lost weight or not….

Once a fat girl….always a fat girl….

I remember hearing that Madonna’s youth clothing line was going to use Kelly Osbourne as the model, and I thought it was funny, because Kelly Osbourne is neither an idol to the youth, nor model worthy….If anything, she’s fucking disgusting even with the Dancing the the Stars weight loss…so I knew she’s aggressively be photoshopped in some Old Navy caliber creative direction…and the only message I hope this gives the youth that are going to be spoon fed this shit is that being fat is bad, starve yourself and if starving yourself doesn’t work, replace food with crystal meth and cigarettes….because I don’t want the shift in morals that leads to a love for porn, dick sucking, group sex and exhibitionism that’s happened to our youth over the last few years thanks to celebrity sluts go to waste or be spoiled by a pig disguised as a human…what a joke….

Here are the pics of the campaign…masturbate to them…it may make you last longer than usual…you know like a challenge for even the biggest chronic masturbating pervert who can cum to anything…Is there an app for that?

Unlike all the fat chicks out there amazed that Kelly Osbourne started working out and lost all kind of fatness to every part of her body but her ankles and head, I am not impressed by her skinny, if anything I find it kinda awkward looking.

She was never hot and despite the happy glow she perspires now that she’shigh on endorphines, instead of being high on chips, cake, chocolate and sleeping pills mixed with uppers mixed with ADD medication mixedd with anti anxiety medication….like all Hollywood trash….she still looks like fucking shit to me.

Proving that sometimes new found confidence for fat chicks turned skinny, although pretty good at ended with blowjobs as they are making up for lost time when dicks didn’t visit their barnyard pussies, are always fucking fat chicks…even when they aren’t fat anymore…cuz fat is a state of fucking mind…and this little phase Osbourne is going through will pass….not that anyone will notice cuz either way…she’s busted….

Here she is scaring everyone at the Scream awards where she won scariest pussy at the event according to me….

Sarah Silverman was a close fucking second….It amazes me that I have seen this pig on “hot” lists by magazines…to me that makes any publication lose any credibility…she shouldn’t even make it on a top 100 hottest Jewish women comedians….even if there aren’t 100 comedians…she’s a sadder lookin’ pussy any pussy that juse realized she had sex with me…and that may not mean much to you…but it’s pretty sad….I have no idea why she has the confidence to wear tight shorts while showing off her pig legs in panyhose…..but I can only assume it’s gotta do with sacrificing herself for content….and I guess who fucking cares.

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I am pretty sure I coulda taken a better angle with the Scream Awards…like by posting the bitches who were there who I actually want to see naked…but I make no sense….

I find it really interesting that even though piggy Osbourne lost all kind of weight, she still looks fucking disgusting. So interesting that I am obsessed with staring at her pics trying to make sense of it…cuz it just doesn’t make sense…fat girls who get skinny are supposed to be fuckable…

She is one of those people who shouldn’t have bothered trying to get healthy and fit, because it didn’t make her any more desirable to fuck, like the fat bitch I used to fuck when she was down on her luck and fat due to a cookie addiction, who 2 years later ended up getting work as stripper everyone wanted to fuck, and eventually fucked her way into porn, because she lost all the weight and took advantage of all the attention she felt she was missing out on…

Kelly Osbourne’s weightloss story didn’t work out quite as well for her…

Seriously, this goes against all studies on weightloss and the whole thing amazes me…but not as much as the fact that people have had sex with this in all it’s shapes, sizes, and levels of cleanliness…

I hate fat girls gone skinny when they are ugly. Cuz fat girls gone skinny when they are hot makes for a very liberal and excited to not be fat girl willing to get naked, suck every last drop of male attention she can find, to celebrate all the years she was hiding in her fat costume….but ugly fat girls gone skinny, don’t realize that fat or not they are still fucking ugly, and even though they have the same wants to get half naked and jerked off to, since they never had it before, they gotta take into account that they don’t really have what it takes…even though I am usually a firm believer than all it really takes is pussy…

See, I don’t care how skinny a bitch get, that doesn’t give her a right to wear see through shirts, in efforts to trick us into looking at her, cuz like all dudes, we have no choice but to stare at pussy of all varieties…I get that back when she was relevant and on TV all the starlets were getting noticed for being half naked, and she was too busy eating donuts and developing a drug addiction to replace her eating addiction, and I guess now is officially payback time….

All this to say…this is a pretty fucking unfortunate outfit….and that Kelly Osbourne is only hot when locked in one of her dad’s coffins.

Don’t get me wrong, saying Kelly Osbourne is “Porning” it up doesn’t mean she’s doing a good thing. I don’t Kelly Osbourne in any circumstance that involves her having sex is doing a good thing, except maybe when the closet case willing to fuck her cuz she’s not built like the other girls who totally turn him off cuz they are hot realizes that he’s gay and pussy isn’t for him….but that doesn’t really count…

She’s skinny, she’s got blonde hair, she’s got her same old half retarded looking face she can than her dad’s half retarded, drug abused sperm for, and she looks like someone I just say getting railed by two black guys with cocks the size of a forearm, and really her look wasn’t what I’d call very pretty….if you know what I mean, and if you don’t, it’s that most porn chicks are fucking vile and Kelly Osborne, no matter what she does, is mostly fucking vile – here are the pics….

I may be disgusted by Kelly Osbourne, but I’m always down for her sister Joan…her lyrics really speak to me….

I do this thing in my stepLINKS where I write “Lookin’ Good Sweetheart” and link to the most vile, disgusting, ugly looking creatures that are either trying to look hot, or just aren’t hot at all, the kind of shit that should be ashamed to call itself a woman, cuz women are supposed to be thigns we want to fuck…

Today, Kelly Osbourne made gets the glory of being a Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…cuz whatever is going on here is definitely not lookin’ good.

Pics via Bauer

I realize that any picture of Kelly Osbourne would be shitty, but if bitch is gonna get in a bikini and have pictures taken of her, I’m pretty fucking willing too look and laugh at her imperfections, especially since she’s probably at her fittest because she’s been on that Dancing with the Girl who has a Famous Father show, dancing all day training, but even if she was at her fattest I’d want to see it. I’m the kind of guy who likes watching trainwrecks even though they aren’t that pleasant to watch, especially if those train wrecks are half naked…

Either way here she is with her homosexual boyfriend who she gets the same haircut as because she thinks it means they are actually in love, while he’s just trying to ride her coatails to the endless supply of cock fame in America will bring him, but sometimes, I guess ignorance is bliss…like back when I used to think arabs were just people in pajamas who didn’t understand why we wore everyday clothes when you could be comfy in your PJs, before I realized they wore those pajamas to hide suicide bombs….Those were the good years….

I love that they captured her fat self that can’t control her fat self and starts eating one of her hats….

Pics via Bauer

Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. That’s really all I can say, because it is all my desensitized stomach feels in seeing these pictures, I assume that’s how the chair she’s sitting on feels too, you know all that and confusion, you know why is a gay dude up rubbin up on a cow, but more importantly, why doesn’t the cow have an actual bathing suit, but only frolicks in the water in what seems like little dresses. Is it because they don’t make bathing suits in cow size, or is it because the cow is insecure about its cow body, that’s can’t be possible, cows don’t feel insecure, they’re too busy being jacked on hormones and milked 24 hours a day….I don’t know where I am going with this, but I do know these pictures are disgusting and disturbing, I guess she’s just trying to live up to her dad’s horror / morbid / scare expectations.

You know Kelly Osbourne’s future husband isn’t straight right? I mean look at the motherfucker, he’s a male model who looks like Sam Ronson and there’s no doubt in my mind he sucks dick, the real deciding factor is how he frolicks with Kelly Osbourne like he actually fucks her, when everyone knows that no one in their right mind would fuck her. Sure, we’d pay 10 dollars entrance fee at the aquarium to see the sea pig in her natural habitat, but we’d never stick our dick in it. Obviously, homie is an opportunist and when you’re Kelly Osbourne, that’s just the nature of all your “boyfriends”, so get used to it and hit the fucking treadmill, or get back on drugs, you’re fucking disgusting.

Here’s a picture to end my afternoon, hoping that it makes all of you never want to kiss any other living thing again. Not that kissing is a real option, you prostitute budget never gets you the Girlfriend Experience, it’s all Pretty Woman for you, no mouth to mouth action on the motherfucker, but when you see Osbourne kissing some Sam Ronson lookin’ motherfucker, who she’s actually going to be marrying, you realize that maybe it’s better off that way.

Seeing Kelly Osbourne kissing anything reminds me of the first time I walked in on two guys kissing. It was I was just loitering around a college dorm in hopes of seeing a free show in the coed bathroom, when I walked into the shower, not knowing it was an all male shower, thinkin’ I’d see a scene out of Debbie Does Dallas, when instead I saw two naked men kissing and jerking each other off. It kinda tarnished my sex drive for about a month because thoughts of that shit really threw me off since it was a time before gay was an everyday thing and drinking did a good job making me forget and get over it and accept it as not being such a big deal, but I will say it put an end to my quest to find entertainment in the coed dorm.

I guess what Kelly Osbourne proves is that even really ugly, sexually ambiguous, fat chicks you would assume are lesbian because no cock wants them, can find love, especially if their parents are rich, famous and big in the music industry, something any aspiring musician would see as a golden opportunity. Work your way into a solid career by fucking the ugly daughter no one wants, then making her fall in love with you and wanting the best for you, leading to her constant whining to her parents to give you a record deal until they agree to shut their little baby they feel sorry for bringing into the world because she looks like shit up.

So maybe this love isn’t real, but the fact that it is hideously disgusting is, and I guess it’s nice to know that Kelly Osbourne can be blinded by this beautiful love she feels to not realize the truth behind it, but the real tragedy is that she doesn’t respect the truth her mirror tells her everyday and that is to stay the fuck inside like the freak that you are because no one wants to ruin their day by lookin’ at that face.