The Hills are over so now Kristin Cavallari is officially fucking useless. We already knew that, but now maybe she knows it…because she is the only star from Laguna Beach who refused to go onto the Hills because she actually was delusional enough to think that she had talent and potential to have a career without the MTV reality bullshit, only to weasel her way back onto The Hills the final season cuz she needed the money and those dreams of being independent of MTV were shattered…and she knew it was her only hope and now her only hope is over…so maybe she’ll be working at American Apparel instead of shopping their, but with a body like this, I’d rather she work the streets or the porn scene….and I guess at this point anything can happen….
You’d think at Kristin Cavallari’s level of success she’d be able to hire herself a Mexican to do her groceries for her, but then again she’s not really at any level of fame, and would probably be better off getting a perverted mexican to do it in exchange for dirty panties he can take home and fuck, and I know just the right person ready for that job, me.
Seriously, something about seeing a bitch doing errands when she could pay someone 30 dollars to do it for her is fucking hot to me, probably cuz the last time my wife went to an actual grocery store, she was asked to leave for making out with the baked goods or some shit…cuz she’s fat, lazy and really into food.
It’s nice to see Kristin Cavallari taking advantage of the last few months people will bother knowing who she is by getting out in her bikini in some kind of last attempt to get noticed. I’m sure she’s also getting paid by the Vegas Pool Party that hired her to be their shitty fucking host for their guests to feel connected to a star on their Vegas trip and it is a fucking recession and she’s really fucking affordable, because any chance to get out there in a bikini, allows for her to think there may be another run for her that will lead to a lasting career, cuz she’s still young and in her mind is just getting started, but in reality she’s gotta be really fucking done and that’s a good fucking thing…..
The good news of the week is that The Hills were finally cancelled. Sure it was a few years too late as far as I’m concerned, because from the day I heard of the shit, I knew it was fucking garbage people would eventually get tired of. It was a social experiment that made me lose hope in America for actually buying into the shit because the cast members who were supposed to be “real” people, in their “real” lives, but as their celebrity, their egos, their fame, their money and everything about them became its own annoying piece of shit entity, the TV show became as useless as it always was but people didn’t realize it was because the people involved were useless from the start….and instead took a liking….
The biggest loser in the whole thing was Kristin Cavallari who only signed back on after her ego and fame and celebrity told her she could have a legit acting career, only to come crawling back to the only people who would give her work the year it got fucking cancelled…
So if this is not a publicity stunt, it’s safe to say, she’ll be stripping or doing porn when she realizes the gravy train has ended and the lottery ticket has fuckin’ expired…and this dress will make a good first song costume at the stripclub…when that’s all she has left to pay her credit card debt she racked up when she thought the good times were here to stay…
I was in the mood to be a hero and save lives a few years ago when walking through a mall that had a mobile blood donor station set up. I waited in line thinking about all the kids with blood diseases, people in car accidents, gun shot victims I would potentially be saving, until they sat me down and asked me questions about my past, because I guess they don’t want dirty HIV/HEP blood.
So they went thru the whole thing and I passed with flying colors, until they asked me if I do anal sex, I asked them if I “give” it or “take” it, and their said either or, and I had to be honest and explain that my wife has a really large vagina and the only way I can get off with her is if i stick it in her ass, and despite it being a really scary, smelly, rotten experience, it’s the best I can do given her size and obesity….
I was thanked and asked to leave cuz they have a policy that if you fuck a bitch up the ass, or if you get fucked up the ass like a bitch, you are no eligible to donate blood….
And here are pictures of Kristin Cavallari giving blood, so you can put two and two together, and unless this is a publicity stunt to draw positive attention to her or she lies, then you know that this bitch does not get fucked up the ass….
Kristin Cavallari is definitely a useless piece of shit, except when she’s showing off her panties when shopping, because any girl showing off panties when shopping, or pretty much anywhere has a use for at least on panty fetishist out there, giving her something to look forward to when her uselessness leaves her out of work again, before crawling back to her employers and last standing fan when she’s hardly needed hopin’ to get paid, but none of that matters, just look at her ass….fantasize about what those lace panties smell like, or where she has worn them before, or whether she’s been fucked in them, or masturbated with them, whether they have period stains in them, or a hole from her acidic pussy juice or just think that these panties are closer than you will ever be to her genitals, and these panties know every contour and fleshy lip ripple, they know if she is an inny or an outty, if her clit sticks out like a thumb, or if it is a mangled mess….and I guess you will too in a solid 15 years when she runs out of money and gets desperate unless of course she kills herself first.
We all know Kristin Cavallari sucks shit in terms of her life, her career choices and pretty much everything about her…but now she’s actually sucking shit…off a spoon and that shit is ice cream cuz I guess emotionally eating is what you do when you realize you are worthless….at least that’s what my wife told me after years of me putting her down in hopes that she’d leave me but instead I’m not stuck with her and can’t even move her from room to fuckin room. Jokes on me! Assholes….
Kristin Cavallari, someone who is totally useless to begin with, even more useless than the rest of the cast of The Hills, because she wasn’t smart enough to get on that shit when she coulda been the star of the shit, but instead her ego thought she’d get other work, real work, reputable work, respectable work, good work and not bottom feeding work, and it turns out she was wrong, because she crawled back to MTV in what I hope will be the last season of that garbage, that seems to have been replaced with Guidos from Jersey, something a lot more entertaining than this group of cunts, even when they are out showing off their stupid fucking naked foot to all the foot fetishists out there while shopping for shoes….and I’ve already said too much about this twat.
I was fortunate enough to be stuck behind a girl with a great ass in leggings walking up the stairs in front of me earlier today….It there is one place to get stuck behind a girl with a great ass in leggings it is on the stairs, because you don’t look like the pervert you know you are, but also because their asses are pretty much directly in your fucking face.
It was one of those messages sent from god to remind me that I am still a man and that decent pussy I would love to fuck is still out there, not that I forgot that shit, but I can’t figure out why else I’d be that lucky cuz lucky shit never happens to me and it was substantially more exciting than these pictures of Kristin Cavallari showing us how to bottom feed in leggings by putting her mouth to the ground and her ass to the air…something all you bitches out there should take note of…..
I always knew Kristin Cavallari wasn’t a real person. You know that everything about her just came short of what you’d expect the average person to have.
Whether it was talent, or looks or intelligence or pretty much anything about her you can think of, her level of substance was hardly even half of an average person and here’s she’s showing us that when it comes to tit, she’s also falling short of average cuz she’s only got on tit.
Sure, it could just be the angle of the picture, and she could have 2 great tits, but admitting that would be admitting that Cavallari isn’t an abnormal freak, like my friend who was born with one testicle, and where’ the fun in that. I’ll tell you wear…in her panties…cuz pussy…especially on desperate bottom feeders…is always fun.
I like to laugh at Kristin Cavallari, not because she’s Kristin with an “i”, which is fucking obnoxious in and of itself, but I guess it differentiates her from all the other Kristen’s who spell their names like they’re supposed to, you know since she’s an individual or some shit, but because she had the balls to think think she was bigger and better than her MTV fake reality show and walked only to come back when the money started drying up and she realized it is all she’s good for.
It’s almost like the time my favorite stripper at one of the clubs I used to frequent told me she was going to move to LA to be an actress, and my cynicism laughed in her face, in a “yeah, that’s gonna work out for you, see you next week when you get back” kinda way, and sure enough 6 months later, there she was, back on stage, only about 10 years older because the guy she had met who promised her the LA career, was actually a pimp and she spent those months on drugs and whoring herself……only to come back where she left off, substantially more damaged than she was before, all because of an insane fucking dream….only Cavallari just isn’t as hot…and probably doesn’t have as good of a stage show….
I can honestly say that the only thing that this site really offers the world and by world I mean my 1 reader, is that we can satisfy some of our fantasies that would otherwise get us in trouble if we were to satisfy them in public.
You see whenever I go anywhere where a chick is sitting, I get busted trying to stare at them under the table. Whether it’s lookin’ at their legs from across the room, or if I get more daring and strategically drop shit near them so I can sneak a peak, or if I am hoping for a panty flash, I seem to always get busted. Making masturbating to it pretty criminal.
That’s not to say that Krisin Cavallari, who I like to call the Bottom Feeder bottom feeding on a Bottom Feeding show because she couldn’t go legit in her career and had to come crawling back to the shit, is hot. It’s just to say she’s in the right position, like if you were to fuck a girl you walk in on with her pants around her knees and her hands on her ankles begging for your dick in a public bathroom, not that that would ever happen, it was just an example to let you know, if she’s in position, we aren’t too picky, so here is Cavallari in the right position….
I was sitting in a bar last night and some gutterslut, because that’s the kind of trash that frolick to the bars I hang out in, was bending over the bar and and I could see the top of her panties like it was 4 years ago when jackin’ your thong to your hips in your lowrise jeans was all the fucking rage for trashy latina chicks, and in staring at her underwear barly covering her ass crack, bunched up and lacy, I realized I saw a fuckin’ shit stain. I wish I was joking. What could have been the hottest visual of the night, because lets face it my life sucks, quickly turned into disgusting.
Here is latch-on Laguna Beach “start” and recently The Hills “bottom feeder trying to make a dollar cuz she couldn’t get work anywhere else cuz she was othe only one who actually thought she had talent” showing off her panties that seem to have a shit stain of their own, only that shit stain has a name and that name is Kristin Cavallari.
Admit that was a good one. Actually don’t. I don’t need you.
Wanna hear something you won’t give a fuck about, but I know because it was emailed to me by someone who either things I will give a fuck, or who is paid to spread the rumor around to raise this cunts public profile and that’s that she has been John Mayer’s fuck slut for over the last 2 years secretly, like that makes any fucking difference on my fucking life in any fucking way. If anything it makes me question humanity. Do normal people go to the water cooler and tell each other this incredible news like they are friends with either Kristin Cavallari or John Mayer? Do they call each other up and say shit like “OMG, Guess What? John Mayer banged Kristin Cavallari!! Isn’t that amazing!?!”…Who fucking cares, kill yourself, seriously. She’s a bitch from Laguna Beach….and now crawled her way onto the set of The Hills…aka a fucking nobody. Here she is showing off a bikini top.
I know it is the afternoon and I haven’t posted and that is because it is the long weekend and I know no one is online today and because I am hungover and woke up 15 minutes ago but I just wanted you to know I haven’t died yet.
I hate writing out Kristin Cavallari’s name because she spells her shit with an “i” and not an “e” and that’s just the kind of pretentious bullshit you’d expect out of her, you know having a generic fucking name but spelling it retarded to be different and I guess that’s got nothing to do with why I hate her, but it does have a lot to do with why I hate writing posts on her.
That said, she’s back on The Hills and I find it funny that she refused to do the spinoff show and for a few years tried to get a legit acting career while her friends got richer and richer and richer while she got rejected from role after role provided she even got auditions and in the end she had to decide whether to take the job at McDonald’s she’s qualified for thanks to her level of education/highschool diploma or to go back to The Hills and instead of saving fucking face she crawled back into the arms of MTV who paid her less than she was getting paid before while giving her the life lesson that once you are MTV, shit’s a life fuckin sentence….
