Here is a clip from what I assume is last night’s Dancing with the Stars because I don’t own a TV and if I did it wouldn’t be set to some dancing show not matter how much of a mail order bride cock tease who won’t fuck you unless you pay her enough and promise her citizenship on your Russian vacation Karina Smirnoff is but I assume they are trying to keep things fresh, because Mya was doing the Lambada and everyone knows that the Lambada is the forbidden dance and that means it’s meant to go down in small Brazilian town and not on national TV, not that I am that offended by its misrepresentation, or because the entertainment industry ruins all that is sacred to me, because the lambada is not sacred to me, but because where I always thought Lamabada meant dirty, condomless penetration to music, and now I’m forced to realize I was wrong.