As much as I hate everything Ed Hardy. From the napkin throwing twats dancing to dance music like they were in Ibiza while drinking their bottles pullin some 9 to 5 millionaire bullshit with their credit card that they’ll have to pay off eventually while wearing their insanely offensively priced and designed T-shirts that are louder than the shitty dance music they are pumpin their fists to in unison, you gotta give Christian Audigier some credit for being authentic to his cause or at least authentic enough to publicly come across as the leader of this twat movement and not tone things down because lookin’ like total cunts is the brand’s philosophy and Audigier won’t fuck with that cuz he has the best scam goin’…..and here he is with a girl in her bikini….

Since my images still don’t work 100 percent and since dancing is porn to me, here’s some Shannon Elizablth Dancing with the Stars who aren’t really stars, because if they were, they would be too busy getting real work that doin’ a quickstep on a shitty variety show. Either way, there was a time I got hard for her fake tits and I figure that out of respect to the death of her sex appeal, I should honor it by posting this is some shit. Kinda like that time we Weekend and Bernied my neighbor who had a drug overdose 2 days before we found him and we had to sit with his body until the coroner came to get it. It took about 10 hours, we were drunk and thought that the best way to honor him was by turning him into some kind of puppet and making him do funny puppet things. All it took was a little rope and a strong stomach because dude had a bit of a stink to him but it got a whole lot of laughs when we went to the other neighbors’ doors making him ask fora cup sugar.

Here is a video from last night’s American Idol where some dancing queen claims to have been in a punk band when he was in the ninth grade. That’s when I realized motherfucker was actually Ashlee Simpson trying to revitalize her career from another angle.

Unfortunately she still sucks, even when she’s dressed like her boyfriend and pretending to be gay, but at least she’s still punk rock or at least claims that she is and that’s gotta count for something because if you believe it long enough, other people will start to also…..

You know, fuck the establishment while competing on candy coated TV shows, in hopes of landing another record deal that will surely have you singing garbage pop songs that every radio station puts on fucking repeat…polluting my brain and making me want to jump in front of traffic because nothing’s more punk rock than that…..Except for maybe wearing make-up and moving to the basement at your mom’s suburban house.

The good news is that this is not actually Ashlee Simpson so we don’t have to worry about that whore getting more airplay, because she can’t really sing well enough to get on American Idol, which in itself is pretty insulting, so I guess it’s it’s back to stickin’ the strap on in her bisexual boyfriends ass.