Some idiot wasted his money on that new Megan Fox movie and he decided to break the law with his cell phone and film the sex scene. The quality is shit, Youtube will take it down cuz it is a HUGE offense, but if you live on my site like you should, you’ll get to see it and I know you like Megan Fox cuz you’re obvious like that. So it’s a celebration.

These are some older pictures of Lohan in a white bikini, probably around a month old and since I don’t read other sites, so they are new to me. I just got excited when I saw them because they demonstrate why I love white bikini bottoms so much.

There have been numerous times that I’ve been at the public pool and the mom’s and teens rock this shit and I wonder to myself whether they have any idea that I can pretty much see their entire pussy and can practically taste the shit.

So I figured it’s a good way to start the day, especially since no dick’s been in her in at least a year, a report I really don’t believe, but they just want us to believe because nothing in Hollywood is real, especially for the people hanging on as hard as they can.

I was sitting in a bar last night and some gutterslut, because that’s the kind of trash that frolick to the bars I hang out in, was bending over the bar and and I could see the top of her panties like it was 4 years ago when jackin’ your thong to your hips in your lowrise jeans was all the fucking rage for trashy latina chicks, and in staring at her underwear barly covering her ass crack, bunched up and lacy, I realized I saw a fuckin’ shit stain. I wish I was joking. What could have been the hottest visual of the night, because lets face it my life sucks, quickly turned into disgusting.

Here is latch-on Laguna Beach “start” and recently The Hills “bottom feeder trying to make a dollar cuz she couldn’t get work anywhere else cuz she was othe only one who actually thought she had talent” showing off her panties that seem to have a shit stain of their own, only that shit stain has a name and that name is Kristin Cavallari.

Admit that was a good one. Actually don’t. I don’t need you.

Pics via Fame

More lesbian Lohan, only this time in thigh highs, she was my first post today, what’s with this sudden obsession with her, I mean it’s not like I haven’t spent the last 5 years documented her every fucking move, at least her every move when it comes to being half naked and worth wanting to fuck, pretty much 5 years where I haven’t been living my own fucking life or making my on fucking moves, or at least moves where I am half named and worth wanting to fuck, good thing I have pretty much no ambition, drive or energy to get off this shit stained, urine soaked couch….consider yourself lucky to have me to distract you from your boring life with useless thoughts from my boring life….

Pics Via INF

Lindsay Lohan went undercover for some photoshoot, because I guess her new strategy to the tp is to be disguised so no one recognizes her as that crazy teenager who liked to party a little too much and fuck a few too many dudes to fill the void her parents made in her soul, so not only is she denouncing her past by being a “lesbian” but she’s also wearing wigs so I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and it is a lot like this girl I used to know who had a gambling problem. She was forced to work weekends as an escort to pay off her debt because her 9 to 5 job wasn’t cutting it, and to live with herself she’d put on a costume, so that when the costume was on she was this total whore, but the second it came off she was a mom and wife again. It was fucked and I doubt way more complex than Lohan in these pictures, I think the truth is that she’s supposed to be pullin’ some Marilyn Monroe shit, because her and Monroe have so much in common, like their dead vaginas.

On a side note, I like Lindsay Lohan again. She has redeemed herself and I plan on helping her get her career back, at least more than a shitty Vogue Magazine. I’d tell you my secret, but then you’ll just snake her from me, leaving me forced to listen to my fat wife panting until one day I give up and jump off the balcony, only to become paralyzed because along with everything in my life, I am not good at getting things I set out to do accomplished and I can only assume that luck will spill over into suicide.

Either way, here are the Vogue pics.

I heard Lohan was shooting an afterschool special like it was ’82 in hopes of bringing her career back to the great heights it once was at, or some shit but I could be wrong, because she ignores me and she is not answering my texts, like she was the Queen of England who doesn’t really grasp technology or someone who is at the top of her fuckin’ game which clearly she isn’t and should be nice to everyone because when she ends up on the street corner begging for change, she won’t want to be ignored.

Here is some pictures she did for GQ, I know I’ve seen them before, but I couldn’t find the shit on my site, so figured why not re-post them if I had. I figure we should celebrate her before she totally falls off the map….

I have this fantasy of lesbian slumber parties that involves a group of teenage girls having pillow fights in their boyshort underwear because I am fucking cliche and that’s what lesbian slumber parties are all about. You know that whole experimental bullshit where you can sit around the next day and giggle about how dykey you were the night before, but halfway into the fantasy that Katy Perry song comes on and I look to find the asshole who turned it on and it’s fucking’ Samantha Ronson in her hat djing the lesbian slumber party event, forcing me to jump off of the tree branch I am perched on, where I am peeping in on the lesbian slumber party because I wasn’t invited since I have a cock and because I am an old pervert who scares teenage girls having pillow fights in their boyshort underwear.

I feel like Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s slumber parties aren’t as eventful as the lesbian slumber parties I dream about, but I wouldn’t mind seeing it.

Here is a post you really won’t give a fuck about, but I accidentally downloaded the pictures thinking they were of some random UK bitch actually getting caught dyking out, but instead I got some lesbian tree huggin’ date in the fuckin’ park. The blonde one who looks like she is into motorcycles, combat boots, ripping off dicks because her mother died of a heroin overdose because of penis, is named Pixie Geldof, and there’s no real shocker that she’s into eating cunt. The other one is some aspiring song writer, who is Anne Heche-ing this bitch because she knows her dad has all kinds of ins in the record industry, but when you look like Pixie, you might as well use any bargaining chip you have, even if it is false promises of hook ups from your dad.

The the fact that I know all this, depresses me, but not as much as the fact that I just made this totally useless fucking post. I mean useless unless you think teenage girls rubbing each other from head to toe with their tongues, you know their naked bodies pushed up against each other in the girl’s locker room at the Gym before swimming class, or yoga class or pretty much any fuckin class, or on a field day, or even in a bar or bar bathroom, or pretty much anywhere and under any circumstance, even if panties are left on is hot, like I do.

Princess Eugenie is in Thailand and there’s only one reason for that and that’s to fuck little boys who dress like little girls.

You know how the Royal Family is, they are all inbred and weird and have strange sexual fetishes.

If you don’t know who this is, she is not Perez Hilton’s sister, she is the Queen of England’s granddaughter, Prince Charles’ Neice, Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson’s daughter and she’s fat.

Seriously, she’s got no business wearing a bikini, even if she’s supportin’ your troops, or trying to justify her obesity in an American Flag…

I always thought that when lesbians got together they fucked each other with non-penis shaped objects, like dolphin dildos, you know because they hate cock. I also thought they’d do the scissor pussy rub, eat each other out, maybe talk about bullshit, stage a protest about gay marriage, tie themselves to a tree for the environment, shop for lesbian sandals, maybe hate on men for violating them, or objectifying them by punching their penis pillow, maybe they shave their heads, or grow out their armpit hair, I mean I just don’t fuckin’ know, because I don’t know real life lesbians, the only girl on girl action I’ve experienced has been college girls experimenting for a lot of male attention, so actual lesbians are like mythical creatures to me, but thanks to Rosie, I know that lesbians go on boat rides.

The last time I was at a stripclub, I sat next to a father/son duo. They were wasted and talking about how they were in town for the weekend for some sort of bonding trip and every girl who got on stage they cheered at them like they were watching the fucking superbowl or something. At one point old man gets into one of the uglier strippers, puts a 20 in his mouth and lays down on stage, and the fat stripper rides his face for a minute, takes the money and the guy goes to sit back down only to have his son high fiving him and laughing and screaming like a fucking asshole. He was saying shit like “I bet mom never does that to you” and “I bet mom’s pussy isn’t that tight” and “I bet you could taste that sweet little asshole” and the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable.

Seeing Miley whoring out on her mom’s back, is a lot less weird.

Here she is dropping the paparzzi’s iphone

Kanye’s girlfriend had a fucking weird interview that works because a chick interviews her so it seems less threatening. If I was to ask these questions, I’d get slapped. She says she likes eating pussy, she says she never had a threesome, she says she’s had sex on her period, she says she’s fully waxed and doesn’t bleed, she says she’s never had anal and is a virgin in my ass, she says she played with herself before she showed up at the radio show, she says cum inside me, she fakes orgasms, this is some crazy shit.

It’s some pretty heavy shit that I don’t know I’d want my wife talking about, but that’s just because my wife and sex don’t work too right…

Watch the video.

Kanye’s lesbian master of the strap-on was some kind of booty model before she was fuckin him up the ass because it’s not gay when a chick does it to you and because fucking Kanye up the ass has a serious upside, like getting more famous than doing free photoshoots for local ghetto magazines who pay you in donuts and $20 gift certificate to the local movie theater, and like lots of free clothes and the chance to tell your friends you fucked Kanye up the ass like the little bitch that he is….

I am not feeling this, but I am only into chicks with eating disorders because my wife’s and I are fat enough to make me never see an ounce of fat again, even when the fat is distributed awkwardly throughout her body, leaving her skinny in some spots and obese in others, making me feel like I had a fucking stroke lookin’ at her because I can’t make sense of it…..and fucking with every guy who hit on her and got a date with her back when she worked behind the cash at walmart/McDonald’s when they could only get a good view of the waste up.

I know some of you dig this big booty shit, so I’ll fucking post it, but I’d rather it be in video…. but all I could find was this bikini car wash shit…..that I don’t think is her….

And some Women in Song Shit….

And the Best Mall Performance of All Time….I think this may be Lady Gaga Before she was Famous….

Here are those pics….

Kanye West took his new girlfriend out shopping, because buying her shit is the only reason she’s hanging out with him, it’s all part of the deal, along with fucking him up the ass like he was one of her lesbian lovers with her massive strap-on, but that’s just because it’s not as gay that way. I am having a debate with my stepdaughter right now who says she looks like a cheap hooker from the 90s from the neck down and like a dad from the neck up holding a life jacket in the event she has to jump off the fuckin’ boat and escape this asshole rappers wratch, while I just think she looks like a dyke about to go out and chop up some wood and plant an organic garden, because when you denounce dick, you’re only serious about it if you end all meat intake.

It really doesn’t matter, some rapper I met from NYC this weekend seems to think Jesus Walks is an epic song, that Kanye’s an amazing producer and that he just talks to much. I think Kanye’s an insecure little baby with sexual identity issues, trying to convince himself that all teh positive reinforcement his mom gave him was actually reality, even if he never really felt in in his heart.

Either way, Amber Rose is ugly, whether she’s a dyke or a hooker or just some groupie hipster bitch trying to get ahead and again, who really gives a shit.

I am not gonna judge Hilary Duff’s sexual preferences. I know how she’s feeling, we’ve all been there, you know desperate and alone with nothing but a 20 to our name and a boner in our pants. You know looking to get off all over her dirty crack addicted face after violating her gaping, dry, dying vagina, because she is all you really afford, only to feel humiliated once you’re done, leading to you hitting the pipe with the whore you just got with because you realize how she’s the best thing you’ve had in the last 5 years and you don’t want it to end, despite how much you hate yourself for doing it.

You know until you realize there’s a cop across the street about to crack the fuck down on you, forcing you to pretend you’ve never seen that girl before, you know make him think he’s insane for implying such a thing like someone like me paying for sex from someone like that, playing it all off as a joke and going on my merry way….with a boner in my pocket and realizing that the cunt stole my 20 out of my pocket when we were discussing prices, before the pigs cockblocked us…