Jennifer Aniston went on a lonely vacation recently, probably in attempts to get away from the hard truth that her life has a pretty depressing future alone and childless, and the good news is that she did it in a bikini, because despite being nothing amazing to look at, I’d rather be lookin’ at it in a bikini than clothed.

I have to say that she does look better than the Greek girls I know or the Greek girls who I have fucked, because I have fucked a Greek girl before and the whole experience was interesting enough to remember, because unlike non-Greek girls, I totally went ahead and shoved my dick in her ass and she didn’t even squirm or make a noise. Sure, I have a pretty small penis, but shit was like naturally lubricated and ready to go, like it was a second vagina and part of her Greek genetic code, leading me to believe that the stereotype comes from some truth….

So some advice to Aniston is that if you want to trick a dude into knocking you up, you gotta take him out of your ass, even if the anal is the only reason he’s in you in the first place. Everyone knows that’s the Christian girl’s answer to birth control and you can’t get pregnant like that….