She isa SI Swimsuit model and she’s in a swimsuit. I am a drunk and I am still drunk. Everything is making pretty good sense to me today….everything is playing out the way you’d expect it to…everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing…shitty teenage angst tattoos you’d expect to see at the mall aside, she’s got an amazing fucking ass and that’s really all i have to say about that…I mean other than….my job on this one’s done….

Pics via Bauer

I am learning that life is all about balance. It’s only taken me about 40 years to realize that. So now for every drink I have, I drink a glass of water and I’ve found the hangover to be less abusive. Every time I do it, I feel like an obnoxious muscle man chachi who orders egg white omelettes when I take my girlfriend who I met at the gym out for breakfast on a Sunday morning after spending a quiet saturday night at home looking at myself in the mirror. The kind of guy who thinks he’s living on the edge when asking the waitress for a little cheese and toast on the side, because it goes against the strict diet so that I will live a longer life with muscles to look at.

So in taking on this new balanced life I feel I should apply it to all aspects of my life including this site, so as a reaction to the horrible ass I just posted, here are some pictures of Italian model Melissa Satta in a bikini looking amazing. I don’t know when they were taken, but I am glad they were taken, because the beauty of the camera is that it captures a moment in time that we can just keep revisiting and revisiting until depression sets in and our penises cry when we realize we’ll never land a chick this hot in our useless lives.