Watching Britney is like watching a homeless woman dig through the garbage looking for cans. Part of me is disgusted of the smell you think she gives off, while another part of me is sad her life has gone this route, because you know when she was a little girl she wasn’t dreaming about digging through the trash, and the main part of me find shit hot as fucking hell, cuz those gutter down on their luck girls are easy…

I don’t know what’s going on here, but I think it’s safe to say no showers were involved or hurt in the making of these pictures….

Pics via Fame

I don’t know what’s up with Lohan, but she looks angry. Maybe Samantha Ronson’s sticking her dick in some other famous pussy now that she’s gone as far as she can go by riding Lohan’s name and becoming relevant, at least more relevant that her acoustic stage show she was hustlin’ before, or maybe it’s got nothing to do with Samantha Ronson and she’s just having a bad day, and really why do I fucking write about it like I care, when I totally don’t. If anything, I just like how Lohan constantly changes her look to give me different characters to include in my masturbation fantasies, whether it be ex stripper, or strung out stripper, or teen popstar, or whatever, her outfit changes do serve a purpose for me and that purpose is cumming.

Girls who go out of the house lookin’ like shit, with their hair all crazy and covering their face are girls who don’t mind getting dirty in the bedroom and I’m not talking about STD dirty or smelly pussy dirty, although that is likely, I am talking about the kind of girl who lets you fuck her ass while she’s on her period then begs you to shove your shit covered dick down her throat while she fingers her period pussy and smears the shit all over your wall, only to take a load on her face and not bother showering before leaving…I mean that’s what I imagine she’s like when she’s not all caught up in this lesbian pussy grinding bullshit….and imagining is enough for me because I am kinda scared of the real thing.

Here are some pictures of a drunken Lauren Conrad nice and messy on her birthday with her tits hanging out of her dress and her sober looking friend trying to save her from flashing her tits like a good drinking sidekick who loves ruining everyone else’s fun in trying to take part in the celebration with her on her birthday, even when it is via the computer like we were friends with her. I always hated those kinds of prudes who stop their friends from showing me their vaginas on camera for the website every fucking weekend.

Either way, this group of girls from The Hills are like the low budget version of the Lohans and since they stem from shitty reality TV shows and not from shitty movies, I can assume they won’t be around all that long, but little girls still look up to them because they think just being on TV makes you someone worth paying attention to and I guess I do too, because I am posting these pictures like they matter but I just encourage hard drinkin’ in party dresses. I am a pervert like that.

You can take the slut out of the party, usually by carrying her drunken ass out in a way that if she pukes none of it splashes on your new shoes, but you can’t take the party out of the slut. I know that made absolutely no sense, but what I am getting at is that Tara Reid is a lot like Paris Hilton in the sense that they are both around 30 years old, but still party like they are 18 year olds at a frat party during homecoming week.

There’s nothing really wrong with making a life out of getting fucked and fucked up, it actually turns me on, because girls who get their lives together and work the corporate gig to save up for the down payment on the condo and the one vacation they go on with all their girlfriends during Christmas vacation and the occassional slip up where they want to feel like they are young again and hit up some lame old lady bar all while pretending they weren’t taking 2 dicks at the same time in the coat check room after drinking 27 shots 5 years earlier kinda bore the fuck out of me.

I am all for having a good time with people who don’t know what the fuck is going on because they’re too fucking wasted and without booze I would have never bagged most of the girls I’ve bagged. So here are some pics of Tara Reid living the dream.