There’s nothing like pictures of a new mother in a bikini to remind you that having kids is a fucking mistake and that when you are stupidly knocked up because you think that is what you are meant to do, or because you are trying to keep a motherfucker in lock down and it is the only way he’ll keep talking to you, or because you are religious and think that it God intended you to have the fuckin’ thing, get an abortion and I am not just saying that because I am working a business plan for funeral services for abortions and marketing the shit outside the aboriton clinic, I am saying it because look at what not getting an abortion does to your ass…

I am always amazed when I remember that Kate Beckinsale’s got a kid. I’m sure she found the shit on the side of the road, or maybe it was her dying drug addict sister’s who needed a home, because it makes no sense to me that shit grew inside of her and ripped its way out of her, her body is too tight.

My only issue with Kate Beckinsale or giving her love for lookin’ good is that it makes me feel like a virgin werido who collects action figures because she did some movie that I’ve never seen called Underworld, but apparently every dude who can’t get pussy has and have since plastered their walls with her picture and name their pet iguana after her and shit.

Here she is leaving the gym in leggings or some shit.

I always respect young mothers, not because raising kids at a young age is hard, especially when you have nannies and staff lined up to do all the work for your lazy spoiled brat ass, but because their bodies bounce back into pre-baby bodies a lot quicker than older poorer mothers, not that Ashlee Simpson was ever really known for having a body, but I am using her as bad example and really all I care about is before and after picture of her pussy to see if shit bounced back as well as the rest of her did.

Nothing says “I Love You Mom” like taking her hot pussy you crawled out of to the beach for a little getaway. It is really the least you can do for ruining her sex appeal and vagina and forcing her to choose you over the good life.

Here’s the dude from Grey’s Anatomy doin’ just that, because without his mother, he wouldn’t be alive and I am sure in his mind, that would be a great tragedy, you know since he probably thinks that he’s left a huge impact on us through popular Thursday night programming…

I can’t wait for the bikini pics hit…I’m hoping she’s giving up on life or at least on dignity enough to get topless…but these pics of her strutting like she wants to fuck are good enough to get me motivated to start drinkin a little extra hard today….

Here is the Grey’s Anatomy Dude Hustlin’ Girls, Because Only Girls Watch His Faggot Ass Show, While His Mother’s Off Being a Slut

Here’s a funny video of a naked woman doing a booty dance on camera with her kid in the room. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, but my mother was also a Mexican whore, so when I was this kids age, I saw a hell of a lot worse, you know streams of endless men fucking the shit out of her, but I didn’t mind, a lot of the times they’d give me toys, it only got weird when they asked for me to be in the room. That was a long time ago, she is dead now, she was a good woman, she was just trying to survive and provide for use. I am not sure what this woman is doing, but its not like she’s masturbating or like this is hot, so I guess just seein how her ass bounces. Enjoy.

I am sure chicks do this on purpose because the shit gets more play than when they don’t film themselves doing their stripper routine with their kids in the fucking room, holding the camera badly, and watching momma show off how she pays for all those bags of chips, take-out and the widescreen TV. It’s inappropriately amazing and I wish the single mom’s pulled this shit at the strip club, you know breast feeding their needy kids between stage dances, so you really know where your 10 dollars is going….In her defense, I’ve seen Jamaican dancehall dancing, and maybe being half naked and simulating sex is a cultural thing, I ain’t judgin, I’m just wishing my momma did this kinda thing for me when I was growin’ up, cuz I am a pervert and because I always wanted to be an internet video supporting actor.

I like Jamie Pressly. I find her hot. I have trouble believing she just recently had a baby because unlike most mom ass I see, this one, I’d actually like to eat and by eat I mean spread it the fuck apart so that her little asshole is winking at me before sticking my tongue as deep inside her as I can, because most mom’s make me sick, all I can think about is that a baby ripped through their shit, leaving a lot of juices, liquids, slime and blood all over the hospital floor, and that vision just plays out over and over and over again everytime I think about fuckin’ with their shit.

So here’s her mom ass in sweatpants, the way we like it, because it means easy access.

Sure these aren’t pictures of Elle Macpherson and Claudia Schiffer actually making out with each other, but they should be, despite Katy Perry ruining my interest in girl on girl action so that every time I see any girl on girl action her Kissed a Girl garbage plays on repeat in my head, because I’d still be down to see it, since I grew up on these girls and 10 years too late is better than never…

I don’t know where these pictures were taken, but it seems like these ladies are doing everyday mom stuff, so I can only assume it’s some private island they drop ex models off at, you know so the public doesn’t get a tarnished vision of the perfection they once had, you know as they age and rot away into disgusting, it’s pretty much the same logic as to why you don’t want an open casket at your funeral, but I think that’s just overkill, let these whores into the general public, they’ve already had it too fuckin’ easy, let us use the private islands for for homeless people and people with Aids and homosexuals, you know to clean up our streets and make the world a better place.

Here are those pics.

Mel B is lookin’ pretty fit. Yep. That’s really all I have to say about that one. I’ve only got a few hours of sleep in me and my brain is muddy, like her skin color and texture of her Eddie Murphy Baby Mother pussy.

So now that Shia LeBeouf’s lost his license, he does what any man would do, and gets his mom to drive him around like he’s a little school girl with overbearing parents who fear of her getting abducted.

I love that he gets protective of his troll mother and says something like:

Hey Don’t Mess Around, My Mom’s Got a Bad Knee, Dog.

I wonder if that knee accident happened from sucking off whoever gave this little asshole his break.

At least his career hasn’t got to their head as they drive away in her Scion, the poor man’s Range Rover. Maybe dude should spent the money he budgeted for his mom’s new car on lawyers so he had to get her a car that looks like it belongs as part of a circus act, which makes sense now that I’ve seen what she looks like.

I know, who cares about this piece of shit and why the hell am I posting it. I’ve really got no excuse, I’m just gonna run with it anyway though.

Halle Berry is a mom, this is her ass outside a spa. It doesn’t look as tight as you might like an ass you are looking at to be, but we’re not dealing with an 18 year old here, so I guess it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that despite buying a million dollar house near me, she has yet to come hang out there, it seems like all those nights hiking in the woods for a hot anal sex scene with a mom ass because her mom pussy is too loose to pleasure his white penis exclusive were nothing but a waste of time, because all I’d find was her model boyfriend’s family sleeping and using the facility like a summer cottage they won in the fucking lottery that is having their son marry and knock up a celebrity.

I don’t really know if Alba’s mom is a slut, but I can assume she is, I mean she did breed Alba and by lookin like this, she can’t have much self esteem and definitely takes all she can get and now that she’s menopausal it means no condoms, I mean provided you can live with yourself after mounting this. Sure, it’s the womb that made the girl you are convinced you are married to, you know the one you photoshopped into pictures of yourself in some elaborate fantasy that has gone too far, it’s one of those get as close as you can get to your dreams situations, but by lookin’ at this, even the biggest Alba fan on his horniest virgin day would have to really focus to finish off the job…even if boxy, overweight, elderly bitches without their lady hormones is their thing. Either way, I think Menopause is the least of Alba’s mom’s concerns, I mean look at her, she’s a fucking monster and a probable glimpse into Alba’s future, and really every woman’s future…it’s some circle of life shit. Get ready for it.

BONUS – Here’s Alba’s Mom Slutting Out in a See Through Shirt…I Guess She’s Taken on the Roll (with extra butter and gravy) of Caring for Her Useless Spoiled Daughter’s Baby….All While Trying to Seduce Us….Slut….

There is an email going around saying that these nuded pictures are of Obama’s mom posing at some point in the ’60s, probably around Christmas time. I have no idea what the legitimacy of these claims are, I mean the fact that they are tagged “vintage porn” or whatever the fuck they say, pretty much leads me to believe that they are definitely not Obama’s mother, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were Obama’s mother, considering it was an era of hippies, free love and nudity and she was a bit of a rebel, you know with the whole getting pregnant from a African man shit that was pretty unheard of at the time, and was something that took a real forward thinking woman to tell the haters to fuck themselves as she defied normal social conduct, embarrassing her family and friends in the process all because she did what she wanted, like the two dykes I saw today making out in front of a coffee shop who didn’t seem to care that there were old ladies walking by them who probably aren’t down with dykes who have a total disregard to being normal in a judgmental world, so it’s not unlikely that she’d be in this photo op situation, but I still don’t think they are really her, but I am posting them anyway, because I like the idea of masturbating to old ladies when they were in their prime so when I change their diapers I can reflect on the pussy that was, not that I work in old folks homes or change old lady diapers anymore, I just pretend I do when necessary, if you know what I mean….

Charlize Theron gets bambarded by the paparazzi and thinks she looks ridiculous, so she hides behind her mom to protect her and tells us to look at her mom’s legs, well I didn’t really have a chance to do that, because I was too busy lookin’ at her mom’s tits in her cleavage exposing dress, because I figure why go for the unattainable when you can seduce her lonely mother who is secretly jealous of her daughter’s celebrity, because she wishes that when she was in her prime, she had the same kind of attention, and is instead forced to take Charlize’s sloppy seconds, when the real magic that is Charlize came from her vagina, so I am all for going to the source, especially when the source is well past it’s prime, desperate for approval, menopausal and unable to get knocked up, and a minx in bed from all the years of experience, the only challenge is ignoring her grey pubic hair, but that’s always been easy for me, because I am easily distracted by gaping old lady vagina….

Brody Jenner has some old, plastic surgery ridden socialite of a mother and here she is in a bikini. Now I am not a fan of plastic surgery abused rich women who spend their lives attending social events, but I am a fan of bikinis so I was torn yet still forced to post it. I don’t know anything about Brody Jenner or his background and I think there’s a good reason for that and that reason is that motherfucker is useless and lame as fuck and it would give me so much satisfaction to give his mom herpes and send him the pics, but I am sure it wouldn’t be a first for him, since she’s probably always been a slut and this look is not something she’s grown into, but something she’s paid in efforts to maintain her key to the good life.

Speaking of the good life I saw some rich chick in the backseat of her Benz with her filipino pull up to a store and as she sat there, the filino ran inside, got the manager and dude came out with a selection of designer sunglasses to try on while she sat there with the window down being served more than anyone, no matter how good a customer she is, deserved to be served. It was extreme rich laziness that probably makes her shitty in bed because she’s too jacked up on valium to thrust her hips that got her rich in the first place, and when she was done she yelled at the filipino to hurry up. I tried chiming in to get her to take me on as her sex slave, but she didn’t even acknowledge me no matter how many times I whipped out my testicles from about 10 feet away. I guess she thought she was too good for my kind and she was probably right.

Either way, here’s Brody Jenner, I am sure she’s just as much of a cunt as the obnoxious shopper I saw yesterday…but at least Jenner’s mom takes her clothes off. I haven’t figured out if that’s a good thing, but I am pretty sure it isn’t especially considering the STD that dripped out of her to form what the world knows as Brody…..