Shakira’s last video was masturbated to everywhere. Seriously, it had so many views on Youtube that there was no way a gang of fucking perverts didn’t have shit on repeat. I think more people saw that video than are actually on the interent daily, it’s lik every Internet user saw the shit 18 times and that’s just not fucking normal, so I can assume that since she’s slutted out to get our attention again after years of being off the radar and already having us hooked, her next video will be some romantic bullshit for the girls to jerk off to, cuz girls look for different things in their masturbation, like emotion, while all I want is to see her South American booty bounce….and she’s already done that….
Either way, here’s a still from the shoot with Rafael Nadal. He plays tennis and I am not even sure that’s Shakira….but they say it is so let’s just pretend….
This is fucking disgusting. No seriously. It makes me fucking mad. I feel the hate in the depths of my bleeding asshole. These motherfuckers play the media in the most obvious way and it works. They know they don’t have to be creative, they can just be annoyingly obvious as they cry for attention as they are pretty much mocking us as they do it and they are getting paid and it is working for them. If only it was this easy for the rest of us, not that I’d ever trade my disgustingly pathetic existence to be this couple, because if I was this couple, I’d do the right fucking thing for society and kill my fuckin’ self. I’m talking murder suicide.
Either way, this is my plea to get you to stop supporting these monsters. Please help make them go away.
So I have this theory that Beyonce held off sex with her husband and gave him the silent treatment because she her whining and bitching wasn’t getting through to him, at first he took it well because it was a much needed vacation from his pain in the ass partner in life, but eventually, like all husbands he had to listen to her demands. First she went off about how she doesn’t like that he’s created a bigger star than her in Rihanna and that if he wants to stay happily married he better do something about it, he refused because he pulled the “it’s business” and “she makes me lots of money” angle, but it wasn’t good enough for Beyonce, she wanted Rihanna fired, she was jealous, she was fed up with her taking the glory and no money in the world could justify why her husband would choose another woman over her. But Jay-Z wasn’t budging, so she paid Chris Brown to mangle her face and make her disappear, so while Rihanna is out in Barbados recovering, Beyonce’s not wasting any fucking time recording videos to get out before Rihanna can get back to work….all while being close with some black guy to let Jay-Z know she’s not fucking around…but it’s just a theory.
I used to hang out at a mall near a college and this brown dude with slicked back hair would always let me bum cigarettes off him. The odd time I’d see him outside the mall at a bar while drunk, he always hooked me up with a beer out of his pitcher or more of his really strong smokes, because he knew me from the mall near his college. This was at a time, most people would avoid me or pretend that I didn’t exist, and if they did acknowledge my presence, they’d never have a quarter to spare for a coffee or that they only had one cigarette left so they couldn’t spare one for me.
It turns out the guy’s name is Bloodshot Bill, I just came across his video randomly, and motherfucker is a talent and hope the good Karma from being nice to me in a time no one bothered, pays off for him.
If anything, this video proves that people like Paris Hilton, Katy Perry and other hacks make it, while the real talent is sittin in the food court at your local mall giving down on their luck homeless lookin’ motherfuckers help.
You know how some peole say they really love what they do and they are excited to get up to do it. I am not one of those people. I really only get excited about sleeping. I don’t even care about drinking, I just do that before sleeping and when I wake up in the morning, I just want to do more sleeping. I don’t want to get up, walk over to the computer like some kind of migrant fucking worker in the fields, to post shit that just pisses me off more than not being in my bed, but I do it anyway and that is some serious fucking commitment to the cause that you should appreciate….but not as much committment as someone like Perez Hilton who takes his site really fucking seriously, even though shit’s a fucking joke. He makes 50,000 dollars a day and now he’s releasing the worst song of all time.
This song makes me want to kill myself. It is worse that Katy Perry and is on some love shack vibe that means it is bad. It is called the clap and is about STDs, but is one of those things that makes me want to go out an get an STD that will lead to blindness like Syphilis. If this ends up on the radio, I will start to protest. It will prove that people have given up and actually accept this fat fuck as some kind of innovater or artist or that his “comdey” has any kind of merit.
We have the power to make this dude disappear, but for some fucking reason, no one has made any fucking effort in doing that. He doesn’t break exclusives, he doesn’t write anything interesting, he is off sucking his own dick when his band of mexicans are updating his site, just let this loser from highschool, live off the fortune he tricked the world into making him, as he disappears into the sunset at an all you can eat buffet.
Seeing this hearing this really pisses me off. It is totally unacceptable on all levels and I blame you…..This is probably one of the worst things to wake up to and I have had my fair share of bad things to wake up….very bad things..trust me….things you don’t want to tell your friends about because they are so bad….
Hayden Panettiere figures it’s time to tap into her other talents, I am not talking about opening up a moving company or joining a carnival, I am talking about talents she thinks she has because her mom’s positive reinforcement while drunk has given her an ego and you get to experience this shit thanks to some kind of record deal.
It seems like the record industry is so fucking desperate that they are throwing deals at anyone with an already established fan base, even though they aren’t actually singers but are just hoping their creepy fans will stock up every CD and merchandise they have in hopes that shit leads to a concert tour and more music videos, because it gives them something to hope for and more content to masturbate to, because masturbation for a lonely man with an obsession for Hayden Panettiere is a sad experience that involves tears for lubrication and now bad songs to drive the point home, all over their fanboy bellies.
Either way, if I could get it up, this would be my masturbation song for the week. Not because I like Hayden Panettiere, but because I hate myself. It’s garbage and if I cared, I’d be annoyed that all these sluts of the moment think they can get their hands in everything entertainment. They are taking us all for a fuckin’ ride and making a lot of money doing it, but that doesn’t change the fact that Hayden’s song fucking sucks and so does her oversized head, broad shoulders and mutant body that could only come from fetal alcohol syndrome and loved by an alcoholic mother, which I guess kinda worked out for her.
Listen to the preview here becaue It Fucking Sucks…
When looking for shit to post today – I came across this picture of Nicole Schrezinger’s barely there nipple in her video and this funny post alongside:
If you think it’s photoshopped, download the video. Skip through the frames at around 3:31.
It reminded me of what I assume the 5 of you are like. You rent movies because they have a nudity warning and when that nude scene hits you pause the shit and when the DVD was invented you got fucking excited because of the zoom feature allowing you to focus right in on the nipple or ass on the screen. You are the kind of guy who saves every bikini, topless, nipple slip, upskirt picture you can find of celebrities and even have a folder on your hard drive called “Celebrity Porn” where you have each picture cataloged by date it hit the internet. When you meet up with your other virgin friends, you all talk about girls and what sex would be like and which celebrity you would marry if you ever met them, assuming that they’d totally see past your lameness and just on your dick, because I guess that’s what fantasies are for and when you’re done trading your notes on what movies and what timecode in the movie the best nude/ hard nipple/ tight pant/ short skirt scene hits, you’re at the comic book store wondering what it would be like to fuck a cartoon. You are weird, you are a collector, you like videogames and you are my only fan.
I’d like to thank you for that with this Nicole Schrezinger Nipple at frames that start at 3:31 in her video…You’re welcome for making your day today an easier one…..Cuddles.
Download the Video – Whatever U Like featuring TI – If You Want It. GO
