Here’s some glam rock weirdness that makes no fuckin’ sense to me. I figured it’d be a good way to start the day because let’s face it we all need an anthem to start our day off and today this is mine, not because I like the song or the video but because it celebrates dairy and there’s nothing more important to me than milk. It is jacked with hormones that force girls to go through puberty years before they are supposed and is part of the reason 16 year old girls everywhere have big titties. Thanks Milk….Now, watch the video.

Here’s a video of the popular myspace slut who got famous on the internet for being a girl lots of dudes wanted to fuck because she had cheesy half naked pictures of her club slut bottle whore lookin’ self online in a time when guys thought the only girls on the internet were overweight and crazy….It turns out that despite being a shitty star on myspace that lead to being a shitty reality TV star, she’s also got some kind of shitty music career and in the video she’s in lingerie showing off a pretty hot bisexual body with a few other sluts, because I guess they like to stick together because that way they can feel like the hottest group in the bar while shoving beer bottles in their drunken vaginas and sharing war stories of gangbangs and herpes outbreaks for a group of dudes who spend too much time in the gym.

I didn’t listen to the song, because I am sure shit is garbage, but I am all for people who jerk off to music videos because it is the poor man’s porn and I like helping out anyway I can. I’m like Princess Diana like that.

Here’s the new Mariah Carey video that you can almost relate to, except for the girl with big tits answering her door in a bra and playing with you in your fantasies party. Your life is more about being the awkward motherfucker sitting on the computer nervous as shit because a girl in the chat room just asked you for a private chat or some shit.Maybe one day she will get on cam for you, we all have dreams and my dream may not involve touching Mariah Carey or her huge tits, it’s gotta do with unicorns, they are so mystical and I feel like if I had I unicorn I could really take over the world.

It’s kinda like this asshole I used to hang out with who bought a Firebird with a T-Top. He was so convinced bitches would flock to it, that everytime we rolled together he would park outside of bars blasting his shitty music with a beer in his hand, expecting them to crawl into the half-assed convertible and start bouncing on his dick. Instead, they’d just look and laugh because we were about 20 years too old and too late and the high school dreams of being the cool guy with the firebird should have been left in highschool, and high school girls today are more into luxury cars and Firebirds don’t have the same impact as they did in the 80s. Now if dude had a unicorn, every slut from the age of 4 on would think you’re a fuckin’ hero and that is the power of having a non-existent animal all girls dreamed of having as a kid, it’s timeless.

Either way, Here’s me and Mariah like baby and pacifier’s new video.

Here’s Kayne’s fourth single from his album called Flashing Lights. If you’re wondering why I am posting it, it’s pretty fucking simple. There’s a girl stripping out of a dress and into some pretty serious lingerie with some pretty serious tits and a pretty serious ass and she’s killing Kanye so he can be with his Mama or some shit cuz little baby misses his Mama…

I remember a time before the internet when the only thing on TV to jerk off to was the music videos, late night infomercials, Jennifer Aniston’s tits on friends because her nipples were always hard, Gymnastic competitions, Swimming competitions, Figure Skating Competitions, scrambled porn, late night movies that would show a little nipple sometimes, fashion shows, the news, Roseanne, Grace Under Fire because I like lesbians, reruns of Giligan’s Island, the Brady Bunch….I guess when you’re a pervert there’s no shortage of shit to jerk off to but what I am getting at is that this is a music video that would have come in handy in a different era, so enjoy.

Girl in the video, will you be my Valentine…just don’t kill me, too many people will miss me….mainly me.

So this Pussycat Doll is launching her solo career and her new video involves her laying in bed in her panties, I guess she’s singing too but I kept shit on mute because I don’t like exposing myself to shit unnecessarily. I used to fight with my stepdaughter about the jiggy club anthems she would always listen to. I’d try to get her to turn the shit off because if I wanted to listen to jiggy club anthems, I’d go to jiggy clubs and order a bottle of Grey Goose and hustle chicks by giving them free drinks and showing off my jiggy tattoos and jiggy muscles while living the jiggy life….when I am not in the mood for that Jiggy shit, I’d rather listen to good music.

Either way, she’s showing off her body, because she’s not stupid and realizes that her body is her number one talent…The topless bikini scene is worth pausing…..lyrics like “you’re my baby love, you make the sun come up on a cloudy day” is just too deep for me to grasp (yes I turned on the volume) but tits and ass, I understand.