Here are some pictures of Naomi Millbank-Smith having a standard upskirt moment when getting out of a car. Nobody cares about Naomi Millbank-Smith because she is a reality tv star, which is pretty much the lowest form of celebrity and to make things worse she wasn’t even a reality TV star in the USA and was on some shitty show in another country. So that’s why I decided to write John Tesh an email instead of writing about her. This is what I had to say:

Dear John Tesh,

I have been listening to your radio show for the last couple of weeks because I can’t afford a TV. I have found it to be a great mix of helpful advice and today’s best music and not only does it lift my spirits but I can also use your resourcefulness to better my life.

Since listening to you, I have drank about half the amount of booze I normally do, I have eaten about half the amount of food I normally do and have increased my water intake but you can’t take all the credit for that, my wife cut off the drinking fund she had set up for me because she listens to you too and apparently you don’t advocate hard drinking.

So now that I can’t afford the self-destructive luxuries I want because of your great advice, I feel like you are responsible for this misery. I know you have lots of disposable income and would really love a couple hundred dollars because I feel it will allow me to enjoy your work, without being mad that I am missing American Idol because I will be completely inebriated, instead of wanting to kill myself everytime it comes on as your soothing voice reminds me of how your impact single-handedly took the bottle away from me.

Keep up the good work, you are a legend in the making.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkneStepfather.com