When I first moved out of Mexico I got pretty heavy into Punk Rock. I couldn’t really name all the bands I was listening to at the time, it was the 80s, and I have a pretty shitty memory, but I can remember listening to everything from The Misfits, to the Dead Kennedy’s, but my favorite band of them all was The Descendents. The last album I bought of theirs was Everything Sucks in the late-90s, I saw them in concert a bunch of times, I used to listen to their shit on repeat, I was a huge fan, I even met their guitar player on the street once and gave him props, something I never do because I don’t respect anyone and I am a fan of nothing, so seeing Lohan and her psycho personality disorder drug addicted body, even if she’s not wearing pants, just makes me fucking mad. I feel like she’s personally trying to get under my skin and piss me off, but at least we all know that the day her heart gives out on her is comin’ quicker than her skinny crazy self knows.

You would think that Paris Hilton would offend a country just by entering it, but it turns out that she has the capacity to go even further by taking their traditions and giving them herpes by posing in her stupid way that someone mistakenly told her was cute and she hasn’t stopped doing since. It’s a lot like that time I went to some native american rights protest and danced around slappin my mouth like I didn’t pay taxes.

I guess the biggest shock was that she was asked to be a guest judge for their country’s beauty pageant which doesn’t really say much for Turkish women, but knowing me, I’d probably still ask them to let me watch them bath, you just can’t stop a pervert.