I don’t find Dita Von Teese hot. I never did. Not even when she was dildo fucking on video back when she was nothing but an internet star, before Burlesque made a comeback, because fat and ugly girls apparently want the opportunity to feel sexy too and before the internet star became known outside of the internet thanks to Playboy, giving bitch a long lasting career pretending she’s a Vampire from the 1940s.

I do find this outfit hysterical, it’s some clown shit, I’m talking Patch Adams shit, I hope she’s on her way to the hospital to help dying kids realize dying is no so bad cuz people like this exist in the world and make a career off it and had no choice but to post it.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Here are some pictures of Cheryl Cole playing a gay sailer on a gay cruise in some strategic see-through shirt that doubles as underwear for people on a budget who can only afford a shirt or a pair of panties but not both, but that makes seeing her trashy tits impossible.

Luckily, we can see her shitty prison tattoos and I really like the music note on the shit, it’s a nice touch, you know, almost making this performance believable, and the rose, my god the rose, is this chick serious..I couldn’t even write this shit in a stage performance I’ve been working on, where I channel a teenage runaway with a dream of being a singer who ends up a stripper 40 years after life wronged her, because a tattoo like this would just be too fucking obvious….

These pics coulda been better but they are good enough….

Pics via Fame

I always thought Bai Ling was a clown. She pretty much has no career other than attending events to expose her massive nipples and maybe being in Playboy and a few shitty movies, but now I am happy to see her going back to what she was always destined to be while wearing the stupidest outfit I have probably ever seen. I was wondering whether she showed up to the event in a Volkswagen Bug with 15 of her clown friends and stepped out juggling and doing cartwheels, I guess I will never know since I don’t get invited to all the high profile shit she gets invited to like Jaime Pressly’s Spring/Summer 2008 J’aime Collection…right…

I remember I worked as a clown for about a week. It was one of those things that happens when you have no money and want to get fucked up and decide to randomly apply for jobs to see what comes from it. They expected me to attend events at the mall and birthday parties and other low quality events people hire shitty clowns to attend. I only made it out to one job after the week of training on how to make animals out of balloons in some warehouse, they had an open bar set up and I naturally assumed that those were the benefits of the job since they weren’t offering health insurance and were only paying 10 dollars an hour. I ended up wasted within 20 minutes, grabbing the kids mom’s ass within 30 minutes and throwing up on a kid within the hour. I was fired and never got paid because of damages, but it made for a good sunday afternoon. It is the day of Jesus after all.