Amber Rose proves that all it takes to get invited to exclusive fashion events that average people can’t get into and that she couldn’t get into that last 5 years her fame hungry fat ass tried, is to fuck someone seemingly important like Kanye West, or to hang with someone who is seemingly important and who you pretend to fuck, because Kanye doesn’t like girls. Then milk that insider information, since you have proof, by making him put you on motherfuckin’ payroll or else the tell all “Kanye is a Homo” book gets published….and it is all very clever.

Here are her tits.

Pics via Bauer

I am hoping that they make this Amy Winehouse perfume the way they make maple syrup, and that’s by tappin’ directly into the source and letting the sap slowly drip into a bucket before boilin it and sending it around the world for all kids to enjoy, because if you’ve ever read the site, one of life’s biggest turn ons for me, as well as one of life’s biggest mysteries is what level of decomposition her pussy is at. Does shit smell like bones, or does it smell like my old man neighbor who was dead for 6 months before they found him, because I just assumed the smell was coming from my wife’s ass, or is shit just in the gangrene stage…because I know for a fact shit doesn’t smell like roses, even after she whore showers the shit with other people’s perfume.

I know, I am probably late on this story, but it’s news to me, and that’s all that matters.

Someone told me that Adriana Lima is pregnant. That’s okay, I had no real chance with her anyway. I like to think it’s gotta do with the language barrier, or with the fact that our people and their people just don’t get along, but the truth is that I’m probably not her type, and let’s be real, I’ve never crossed paths with her, so it was obviously not meant to be. Plus she’s too fuckin’ religious and boring. I like my models and celebrities addicted to sex, drugs and the party, not addicted to Jesus. Sure, the whole virgin from Brazil because of her deep passion for the Catholic church was kinda hot in theory, but not as hot as her tits. Here she is promoting some bullshit for her keepers at Victoria Secret, you know, because they own her.

Katie “Jordan” Price is a whore who has managed to make a name for herself being a whore and I guess I shouldn’t hate on her for having the stupidest implants or a career based on being a whore, because I like whores and I have to remind myself of that sometimes. I don’t care that she has a huge product line named after her and I don’t care that she’s been successful doing what she does, I just care that she does it as slutty as possible and she seems to manage that pretty well. These are some pictures of her promoting some perfume and it reminds me of the time I wanted to start a porn magazine so I put an ad in the local paper and bought a couple sexy outfits, hired a photographer for the day and no one showed up, so I decided to bite the bullet and dress up and pose sexy, I figure why let a good thing go to waste. Boy, would I be happy if those pictures never hit the internet….