Here Doutzen Kroes, a model you all know from Victoria’s Secret, because they’ve given her a set of wings and made her an official angel or whatever the fuck it is that they do for their top performers who sign their fuckin life’s away to the company, never being able to escape the numerous in store appearances or perfume launch parties, unless the “Gods” at the head office find out you have a penis like they did with Gisele that fateful day they walked in on her taping her dick back into her ass for a panty shoot because they didn’t want people knowing they accidentally robbed a Brazilian tranny prostitute from her small town in Brazil, it’s bad for the Christian fundamentalists who buy their bras…and she’s flashing her skin colored bra, a bra color that always reminds me of my grandmother.
One photographer said these were pictures of Behati Prinsloo and another one said they were of Abbey Kershaw. I have no idea who either of those bitches are so I can’t clear up the fucking confustion but I guess they have something to do with Victoria’s Secret…since they are at a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. Last time I checked Victoria’s Secret was a lingerie company…with a catalog that you all used to jerk off to of girls in lingerie and based on these pictures this bitch or these bitches look a hell of lot too clothed for my liking….but you’ll probably like it even though it reminds you of something a girl’s never done for you….(take her top off)…loser.
If you’re wondering how to get on the cover of a magazine, all you have to do is pretend date a gay rapper and go on crazy shopping trips with him that he bankrolls as long as you can stomach him talking about boys which is a lot better than stomaching all the cum you’ve had to swallow just to get to this motherfucker, cuz I am pretty sure I saw this twat on Maury bragging about fucking a dude for a bucket of chicken and an old OIdsmobile back in the fuckin’ 90s. She’s not all that hot, but if she’s good enough for Kanye to play fake lover with, than she’s good enough for dudes to think she’s hot, I guess.
Either way, here’s the pics from the photoshoot GO
I didn’t know who this bitch was – so I googled it….
Over seven pages in the Spanish magazine Interviu, Patrizia D’Addario poses in a series of see-though tops alongside a swimming pool at a villa in Rome.
Little more than a stone’s throw away is the Palazzo Gravioli, the Rome residence of Silvio Berlusconi. It was inside the walls of the Palazzo where the blonde escort claims she slept with the Italian Prime Minister.
You’d think the Italian Prime Minister would have a little better taste and if he was to bang a whore, he’d do one that was worth banging, not that all women aren’t worth banging, just when you are in a position of power you can leave the table scraps for the rest of us, instead of giving the table scraps some kind of ego, when that ego should be reserved for models. Motherfucker’s screwing up the whole chain of fuckin’ command….
Here’s Coco and her ass doing a photoshoot for Black Men magazine because everyone loves her retarded ass, especially Black Men. I don’t know when this was shot because this level of tacky seems timeless, I mean shit could be straight out of a stripclub in 1994 or be from yesterday because I guess shitty sex toy apparel doesn’t really change with the trends like other clothes do and who really cares cuz here’s her silly ass.
Lindsay Lohan went undercover for some photoshoot, because I guess her new strategy to the tp is to be disguised so no one recognizes her as that crazy teenager who liked to party a little too much and fuck a few too many dudes to fill the void her parents made in her soul, so not only is she denouncing her past by being a “lesbian” but she’s also wearing wigs so I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and it is a lot like this girl I used to know who had a gambling problem. She was forced to work weekends as an escort to pay off her debt because her 9 to 5 job wasn’t cutting it, and to live with herself she’d put on a costume, so that when the costume was on she was this total whore, but the second it came off she was a mom and wife again. It was fucked and I doubt way more complex than Lohan in these pictures, I think the truth is that she’s supposed to be pullin’ some Marilyn Monroe shit, because her and Monroe have so much in common, like their dead vaginas.
On a side note, I like Lindsay Lohan again. She has redeemed herself and I plan on helping her get her career back, at least more than a shitty Vogue Magazine. I’d tell you my secret, but then you’ll just snake her from me, leaving me forced to listen to my fat wife panting until one day I give up and jump off the balcony, only to become paralyzed because along with everything in my life, I am not good at getting things I set out to do accomplished and I can only assume that luck will spill over into suicide.
Miranda Kerr is nude in a photo shoot, but not really nude by my standards, because I only consider a bitch to be nude if I can make out what her pussy looks like…I’m talking every lip fold, discoloration, or razor burn bump. So sure she’s not wearing clothes, but as far as I’m concerned she pretty much is and whoever is behind this suggestive piece of shit needs to be fuckin’ shot, unless he has plans t release the behind the scene pics of her bending over and spread eagle…which I hope he does cuz Miranda Kerr is pretty decent.
Katie Price has been working really hard the last couple of days. I guess now that she’s getting divorced it’s time to pick up the fuckin’ pace, or make some money to pay off the leech who gets half of everything. I’ve posted a lot of pictures of her at the job and it’s been really exhausting, but probably not as exhausting as spending days laying around a beach in a bikini, half naked, in the sun, in luxury, while people snap off pics while carrying a fat set of tits around all day. Sure she’s useless and has a weird fuckin’ body, but I guess I do too.
Here are the pics….I am uninspired with her….pretty much exhausted her this week….
I saw a girl last night who I had met a few weeks earlier. She wasn’t really my kind of girl in the sense that I don’t normally hang with cheesy hot chicks in the female line from the people who brought you “Affliction” clothing, who hangs with balding men, because I hate that shit, but she was fucking hot. Anyway, the last time I met her I had told her about my site and this time she came up to me to tell me that she actually went to the site and that she didn’t get it and she kept saying she didn’t get it. I was kinda thrown off because there’s really nothing to get, I post pictures of celebrities and I talk shit, but for some reason she couldn’t grasp it, in the same way that I can’t grasp this Kristen Stewart bitch and why everyone thinks she’s hot, or why she’s out doing this photoshoot trying to look sexy. I guess not everything is for everyone….
I met my very own Megan Fox earlier today. She was this hot blonde chick who asked me for a lighter on the street randomly. I didn’t have a lighter because I don’t smoke, so I said no, but then I remembered I don’t change my pants and grabbed some matches the other week at a restaurant, so I called her back saying I had matches, only to realize that I didn’t. I apologized. She said I got her hopes up. I said “Yeah, I really fucked you” she walked away creeped the fuck out and I screamed after her saying “I’m going to write about this on Craiglist misconnections”. I am pretty sure she felt the love.
Here’s Megan Fox doing some photoshoot. My favorite part of it are her white pants because of the suspense that comes with wearing white pants – will she get a surprise period or not – only time will tell – amazing.
Cindy Crawford is 43 years old. She did a bikini photoshoot. I have seen her in person. Recently, when she was promoting some furniture shit here at some discount store and I tried to get her to sign my penis, only to be escorted out of the store before actually meeting her because security caught onto my plan, mainly because I tipped them off in my excited state, litterally, but shit, she looks fuckin’ good.
Here’s Alessandra Ambrosio in some clothed photoshoot. This is like some non-nude model bullshit that was huge on the internet a bunch of years ago, where bitches like Kate’s Playground would never show off tit or vag, and just dance around in their fucking underwear like a bunch of teenage sluts who were milking idiot men for tons of fucking money, despite having a club foot, no one would ever really look past, if she was an actual stripper or some shit.
You know, I get the tease factor, you know not wanting a bitch to give you her everything, you know building up to it or whatever, but I don’t get that for internet porn, you now, especially when every girl in your life refuses to get naked for you daily, the last thing you need is an internet slut to do the same fucking thing. I mean I am self-hating, self-sabotaging, self-destructive, but I’m not a fuckin’ idiot or going to pay 30 dollars a fucking month to get girls to not get naked for me, when they don’t get naked for me for free.
Anyway, the whole point of all this is to say that this Ambrosio shit is the opposite of that non-nude model shit, because we’ve all seen her in underwear and now she’s all dressed up, like some kind of mom or something and that pisses me off.
Anna Kournikova did some ads for K-Swiss. I didn’t realize K-Swiss was still around. I haven’t seen that shit since the gangsters in my neighborhood stocked up on them back in the late 90s because they were on sale. Does anything more really need to be said about this? I don’t think so.
Kate Moss is still getting work even though she’s old and a drug addict. Here she is doing a photoshoot as the face of Yves Saint Laurent. I like that despite being a cokehead she can still get hired, you know because I guess everyone’s a fucking cokehead in the fashion world so if routine drug tests were implemented, they’d have no one to work, which is unfair, because when I was applying for work as a flight attendent to escape this hell I am living, they asked me to leave the casting call, because I did a bump in front of a recruiter in the bathroom and they didn’t think me telling them that it gives me a little more edge, confidence and alertness to get the job well done was a good enough reason….in fact I think they even called the cops.
I guess like anything we have to wonder what example this will give girls, you know since any girl aware of who the face of Yves Saint Laurent is, usually is a brat with a ton of fucking money who started getting high at 14 cuz daddy was at work and her allowance was 1000 dollars a day….It doesn’t matter – just look at her nipple, live her nipple and love her nipple.
I have loved Christina Milian since seeing her get covered in mud like a dirty little whorein her one hit wonder album a few years back that I assume she’s trying to recreate. I assume she’s been dropped by her original label and that is why she’s been laying low but after deciding to go with myspace records, she’s recorded an album and now she’s doing her promotional rounds.
She ended up on the cover of King Magazine because I guess she’s black or appeals to black people and by black people I mean white suburban kids who buy magazines they think are for black people so they can act more black and garner some street cred, while real black people are too busy being gangsters, rappers or reading Fortune to bother picking shit up.
On a side note, I fell in love with a black girl last night, it was at the movies, she was tall and luxurious, I tried making eye contact, until her hoodrat boyfriend came and I felt it was better to not get shot.
