Here’s something you’ve all been waiting for, Liv Tyler showing off her post pregnancy body in a bikini on the beach. She’s the pasty kind of slut you like cumming on because shit turns invisible against her white skin and that makes you feel like some kind of super hero, something you’ve wanted since you were a virgin with a huge comic book collection and an affinity for wearing tights in front of the mirror, because it gave you a boner.
I guess the closest you’ll get to fuckin’ her is jerking off to the high quality print outs on that expensive printer you bought for occasions like this. You’ve had a thing for Aerosmith, since getting down to “Dude Looks Like a Lady” because you used to lay in bed imagining it was written about you while squeezing your nipples, and wondering if you’d ever meet someone as sexy as Steven Tyler, but since that makes you gay, you’ll settle for the bi-product of an Aerosmith one night stand….
Either way, her sister is a plus sized model, I guess it’s genetic and I look forward to her future rolls in movies playing the Wal Mart cashier or maybe if she’s lucky, Roseanne in her biopic…it could be the role of a lifetime….