I hate this Girl’s Next Door bullshit 3-way relationship Hef hustles. It annoys me that these whores are even known for more than just appearing in Playboy one issue. It is a fake love affair where he gets bitches are on payroll to pretend prostitute themselves to him to generate buzz , and if this lie was real, Hef and these bitches would be in fuckin’ jail.
It is fantasy designed to sell the Playboy brand. That’s why 3 girls agree to live together and pretend to date the same 80 year old, thinking it will advance their career while the pay is better than working the diner back home, and when they are built up, Hef replaces them for fresh pussy he wants to make money off of, while giving them all spinoff careers that he makes money off of, keeping the wheels on the machine in motion.
Either way, Kendra is pregnant, her fake tits are fatter than they once were, her fear of being able to breast feed a baby without poisoning it probably haven’t set in yet, and her fake friends threw her a fake babyshower, I am sure all paid for by Playboy….
Read some serious bullshit about the event like it’s actual fucking news, when really it is just some glorified press release for Playboy….
September 9th, 2009. Former Girls Next Door star Bridget Marquart throws a “surprise” baby shower for Kendra Wilkinson at Hugh Hefner’s personal assistant, Mary O’Connorís house. Earlier in the day Playboy Playmates and Hefner’s current girlfriends, Kristina Shannon, Karissa Shannon, and Crystal Harris were seen picking up balloons and gifts for the party in a chauffer driven limo.
Prior to the party former Girl Next Door star, Holly Madison, was seen taking out the trash, eating a pickle, and receiving pizza delivery for the party, “I got kicked out of the mansion, so I had to get a second job delivering pizza”she joked with a photographer. Numerous other women attended the party including Kendraís mother Patti and her Grandmother.
Making a fashionably late entrance, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner arrived at the party in his chauffer driven limo with the vanity plate “1 HEF.” Hefner gathered his three girlfriends and left teh party after staying a little more than 30 minutes. Insiders reported that an altercation between Hefner’s new girlfriends and other women at the party had occurred.
What baby shower would not be complete without a homosexual male dressed in a baby outfit. A man identified as Jonny Makeup arrived to the party dressed in a baby costume telling the photographers, “Kendra is going to change her first diaper”.
Partygoers dined on delivered Pizza Hut brand Pizza, Carmela Louise Catering, and Sunday Scoops Ice Cream compliments of Dandy Donís Homemade Ice Cream. Kendra and Bridget Marquart, both dressed in baby blue, gave each other a hug goodbye as they walked to their cars at the partys conclusion. Holly Madison and Jonny Makeup made an encore exit when Holly picked up Jonny and they both fell to the ground crashing into a row of trash bins. Right before Kandra departed she stood next to her car and started posing with a large mason jar filled with pickles.
The entire event was filmed by a Playboy camera crew.
Posin’ with pickles, fags dressed in diapers, and …The entire event was filmed by a Playboy camera crew. Fuck yourself Kendra, I hope you have a still birth….cuz no baby deserves a whore of a mother and it’s too late for abortions or miscarriages…..
You know what the Kardashians need, another Kardashian to add to their pack and really convince the world that they are an actual rat infestation and not just pretending to be one. You know a group of rodents who have come to pollute and annoy our fuckin’ lives because as they stand now, there are only four of them and sure that is enough disgusting to really annoy a mother fucker, especially when you can’t poison or trap them, but it is not quite enough to make a motherfucker go completely crazy, they kind of just teeter back and forth on the cusp of a motherfucker’s sanity, but luckily Kourtney has taken it upon herself to change that by getting knocked the fuckup by a white dude, something as the third “K” in the family she had to do because she completely her dad’s plan of being the “KKK” girls and as the KKK you kinda need to avoid dick that isn’t your own, or some shit and here she is sitting in the bikini bottoms she shoulda left on the night this asshole knocked her up.
Here name is Camila Alves and you know her as the immigrant model who Matthew McConaughey fucks and knocks up on the regular basis from another country but I like to think I know her as the hairy little troll I wanted to fuck before she got knocked up on the regular and gave up on her man-scaping, not that she’s built like a man, she’s just hairy like one and despite hairy bitches being disgusting, their testosterone levels are where you want them to be when it comes to sex drive, cuz those bitches high on estrogen just never wanna fuck, they are too busy crying about everything….where a testosterone bitch is too busy taking it from every angle….and in Camila Alves case, her chronically swollen uterus is the proof!!
Pregnant with Matthew McConaughey’s second baby that he knows about, Brazilian Camila Alves showed off her hairy swollen uterus. Maybe it has to do with her hormones being all out of wack since she’s got something growing inside of her, but I’m pretty sure it’s got more to do with her latin roots cuz those bitches tend to be hairy as fuck, which always amazes me because I’ve got latin roots but for some reason have a patchy beard that reminds me of a 13 year old french kid. Maybe that means that I’m more woman than I like to admit, depsite being forced to admit it everytime I take a piss and realize I’m squirting out of nothing more than a pathetic little clit, but that’s not the point, the point is that I’d definitely fuck this bitch well into her third trimester without a condom, just because I know she can’t get pregnant with my kid if she’s already pregnant, it’s real simple biology.
Bonus – Matthew McConaughey’s mom was also sluttin’ out on the beach with her Texan granny ass….
I heard Kourtney Kardashian was pregenant last week and didn’t really give a shit. I figure eventually all these cunts I hate are going to breed, so they might as well do it now than later, but when I saw these pictures of her and the baby daddy, I was surprised, not because she’s eating ice cream, since that is a genetic disorder her and her sisters fight everyday, but luckily with pregnancy comes the license to eat as much as she fucking wants to, never ever bouncing back to what she once was, but that’s what pregnancy is famous for, while we’re still trying to figure out why Kourtney Kardashian is famous for, but I was surprised mainly because the baby daddy isn’t black, as I thought these girls only fucked black dudes….
I decided to google Scott Disick because I really have nothing better to do with my time and figured no one out there would waste their time on doin the shit themeselves, because people don’t really care about no names and I found out some funny shit….
FIrst, Scott grey up in a wealthy home and went to private schools, but his parents went broke and he is being known as a womanizer, basically trying to sleep his way to the lifestyle he wants, and leaving his sperm in the best uterus that comes along to be set for life, a modern day K-Fed who we should celebrate, unfortunately for him tho, he didn’t quite bag a Britney and pobably has to listen to a whole lot more whining and bitching and bratty, high maintenance shit cuz that’s just what these trashy Kardashian’s are….he really shoulda just used her as a stepping stone to meet someone more famous….
Either way, here is Kourtney letting loose with her using man and the whole thing is funny to me…..especially when I look at his shoes, then his Clark Kent hair and his smug look on his face like he’s totally got this all worked out and won the game of life…while his girl gets fatter and fatter by the bite….amazing….
I always find it funny when I see pregnant girls standing together, not because of all the bitching and complaining and moaning about how they are retaining water, how they are craving weird foods, or any of that other moody shit that goes on with pregnant chicks, but because I like identifying the bitches who don’t used contraceptives and who don’t believe in abortion so that I can warn my friends to stay the fuck away from them when their perfect little family lives fall apart and they are left with nothing but a broken home, kids they don’t want and a shittier body than when they started this whole baby making bullshit. I also like the farting and the talking about various gyno experiences, but that’s just because I like all things vagina, even if the fuckin’ thing is on it’s last legs, I mean that’s the whole reason I cruise the cancer ward in the hospital…..
I assume whoever Kendra Wilkinson is making a half-breed kid with is either a rapper or athlete, because girls like her don’t date black dudes unless they are rich because she’s a fuckin’ hooker piece of trash proven both by the fact that she was dating a senior citizen when she was 20 for money and status and but also proven by the shotgun wedding she had a few weeks ago because that is the only kind of wedding her people really understand.
Here she is on the beach with her pregnant body in a bikini, speaking of strippers who made it, I was supposed to go to the stripclub last night, where I was going to pretend I worked for a big entertainment company, to get them to give me free auditions in the lap dance booth and get their hopes up, because I’ve learned that all strippers hope some knight in shining armor will come in and give them a better life and I am so down with playin off that.
I never really knew what Laetitia Casta did, but she was all the rage on the internet a bunch of years ago, but that time is long gone as she is no longer the hot half naked slut in pictures, but the pregnant mom on the beach who is ready to fuckin’ drop. Now I know some people find pregnancy beautiful and natural but I find it the most disgusting and unnatural lookin thing that could happen to a woman’s body and knowing someone fucks this is almost as disturbing as you jerking off to it.
I know part of you wants to knock up the first bitch who comes your way so that she can never fuckin’ leave you and you won’t have to be alone anymore, but seriously, after lookin’ at these Coleen Rooney pics, you’ll realize that it’s a bad fuckin’ idea, but then again, any girl you land will probably already look like she’s pregnant, because you can only attract the lonely fat ones, who don’t need your contribution, I mean other than for the whole pregnancy to force you to stay with them for the rest of their fat bitch life as to not feel alone, and I guess that makes you motherfuckers soul mates….
Kendra Wilkinson’s got some hard nipples on her hard implants at the beginning of what will be a hard pregnancy because of the HPV, since she’s a whore. There’s nothing quite like a set of useless pregnant chick implants, I mean other than a set of useless mom impants, because watching a baby’s face after struggling to suck milk out of his mommy, only to come up empty, cuz shit is dryer than her pussy when she used to try to get turned on by Hefner, is amazing, but not as amazing as when the kid is old enough to use Wikipedia to find out his mom’s a fuckin’ whore….
I think it’s time for this bitch to put her shit away, wrap it up and head back to the UK fully clothed. I am tired of posting her pictures, but even more tired of trying to come up with a story about a pregnant chick that I’ve either known or fucked, because let’s face it, I try my best to avoid that shit, by either throwing them down the stairs, staging a scary dream that ends in multiple uterus punches, or even go as far as driving into a brick wall if needed, because some of us get freaked out by babies and that level of work, responsibility and money, so even though I didn’t knock this bitch up, I know some asshole who is faking a smile somewhere did, while his insides are plotting the fuckin’ escape, and it’s all because this bitch is bored, likes commitment and financial security that comes with having a rich dude’s baby, and a solid excuse to justify her sloppy stomach next year at the beach. I think I said that before, but I am repetitive.
The only good thing about pregnant chicks is when you know for a fact the baby isn’t yours. That way when you fuck the bitch you know that you don’t need to use a rubber, you can cum up inside her, you can be pretty confident you won’t get an STD cuz bitch has been to the gyno repeatedly the last few months, and most importantly, knowing she’s cheating on her baby daddy with you, is inspiring, but not as inspiring as knowing shit’s growing inside her. I don’t find pregnant chicks all that repulsive, you know the whole full tits, round belly is natural and beautiful, but not as beautiful as not having to worry about paying child support.
Here are some pics of that Coleen Rooney chick in her bikini – round 2 when the pain really should have ended in the first 10 seconds of the first round….if you know what I mean…if you don’t, you’re a fuckin’ idiot, it means she shouldn’t be wearing a fuckin’ bikini and yesterday’s punishment was bad enough…
In keeping up with posting obscure Footballer wife’s on the beach in bikinis, here is some pregnant, fat and disgusting Coleen Rooney. It’s called a fuckin’ abortion you pig.
The only good thing is that she wasn’t hot to begin with and this baby isn’t ruining nothin’ it’s just giving her an excuse for having a body that looks the way it does, before she had to accept that it was just cuz of bad food and laziness, now she’s got that whole “she’s a mom” shit.
So Kendra Wilkinson decided to keep the baby this time around, because her doctor said her womb can’t handle another abortion. It was her favorite form of contraceptive throughout her teen years and now that she’s found a nice man she’s been dating for half a minute, she figures, why the fuck not keep the little fucker, it’ll be way less annoying than the other STDs she’s landed over the years because at least he’ll reach an age where he will be able to talk back to her and have a relationship with her, instead of just inconveniencing her. The timing really couldn’t be better, she’s launching a reality TV show and there’s really nothing more that the men who would have watched her to jerk off want to see, I mean fuck a tight bodied Playboy superstar, give me the nauseating pregnant chick with nausea getting fat and more annoying than she already is. Idiots.
On a side note, if the dude in the header pic is her baby daddy, motherfucker looks nervous, like wondering what to do when you get a whore pregnant, the trick I learned is to stage a nightmare and punch them in the gut, or throw them down the stairs, or if you are ambitious, pay someone to have a horrible car accident with them.
On another sidenote, I don’t get why this bitch always rocks stupid white sneakers like she was fucking Seinfeld. I find it offensive.
I heard that Hilary Duff is 7 weeks pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is, because it all went down around the same time her boyfriend was in the Hockey Playoffs and they needed to use her to boost team morale. I mean that or she’s been eating a lot or doing the Kim Kardashian workout DVD, because that’s the only explanation for her maternity outfit, and trust me, I know maternity outfits, I spent the better part of a year protesting pro-abortion outside of a maternity store every saturday because I felt the world was over-populated and hated the whole obnoxiousness of having kids, the whole you think you’re good enough to have another one of you walk the earth bullshit…and none of that matters, because pregnant or not, I would love to explore this bitch’s womb.
