Her name is Jemima Khan and she’s my Aunt, bitch makes legendary pancakes. I always tell her she should package that shit and put a picture of her dressed like a black slave because back in the plantation days, the slaves made the best pancakes for their white slave drivers. They were also good at slave songs, pickin’ cotton and getting impregnated with their slave driver’s babies. They raised families of 15 on no money in a little slave shanties before escaping on some kind of underground railroad or raft that they took out on the Mississippi like they were some kind of Cuban border crosserd floating on a tire.

That’s your black history lesson for black history month from someone who doesn’t know shit about black history or slavery, except for having to do all the chores around the house because my wife pays the bills and I’ve gotta earn my keep. What I do know is that this Jemima bitch isn’t my aunt and I’ve never seen her before, but I do know how she maintains her pubic hair and that’s by not really maintaining it at all. So looking up her skirt is about as exciting as typing “Pubic Hair” in Google, but since the paparazzi is up on her crotch like it’s important, I figured I’d post it. I’ll let you go look her up on wikipedia, your internet education replacement station. My site is still running like shit. Cuddles.

I don’t know who Bianca Gascoigne is but I went into wikipedia to find out that she is the stepdaughter of some famous Footballer and outed him for abusing her mother forcing him to disown her even though his sperm didn’t make her. She was on some reality TV show in the UK and admitted she has breast implants and was scared that her drunken outburst ruined her chances at a career after the show. She is 20 and based on these pictures of her using the shampoo bottle to simulate a cock she’s suckin’ while wearing no panties and showing off some of her blond pubes obviously not too concerned with ruining any career and possibly even considering one in porn. See, I do bring quality information sometimes….

I like drunk girls because drunk girls usually do this kind of thing and finding a sober girl to simulate sex with inanimate objects or to flash her pubic hair is usually a fucking challenge. The other night I was talking to a drunk girl about having sex with vegetables, she told me that she was a pervert and ended up using a cucumber in ways I’ll never know but she did tell me that she ended up waking up in a pool of her own urine….later that night when I tried to convince her to use my beer bottle to simulate that situation for me to witness, she told me that she wasn’t drunk enough. Unfortunately, I don’t have the kind of budget needed to make these kinds of miracles happen, but the internet has a way of letting me witness it for free and that’s why I am here passing this on to you. That’s all I have to say about that.