I don’t know much about Brazilian tranny sex with closet case football players who only play the game cuz they love the locker room before and after the game and the only way to not get beat the fuck up is to be really good at your position, if you know what I mean….but I do know that it looks a hell of a lot like dude’s training for his lifeguard license or doing a CPR course or some shit, cuz this “PDA” looks more like “CPR” and the whole this is boring and almost unbelievable. I think this is just a continuation of the whole “Gisele is actually a woman” publicity stunt…but what it comes down to is who fuckin cares….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

I don’t know what’s going on with this video, but it reminds me a lot of my sex life. Not because I speak a different language, or because I travel the world seeing weird shit, or because I fuck bitches on roof tops, but because I spend a good part of the last 5 years trying to spy on as many people as I can fucking. I’ve seen people fuck by sneaking in the dark room, I’ve seen the shit from hotel room windows, I’ve seen it in parks and it’s always been fucking amazing….

In this video you’ve got what looks like a group of tourists doing doggy on some tourist attraction and the bitch, like all bitches who fucks me doesn’t seem to be too into it and the highlight of the shit is when homie smells his fingers.

I can smell the dripping horny pussy from here…Kelly Brook must be at her sexual peak and her biological clock must be ticking…or maybe she’s just trying to put on a show for the small amount of the public who actually know and care about who she is…or maybe she’s just being possessive and overcompensating because her athlete boyfriend is probably dippin’ his gym shorts in a whole lot of other pussy cuz that’s what pro athletes do and I guess she’s just trying lay her stake for the world to see and I find the whole thing desperate and disgusting…rent a fucking room you whore…I hate horny girls because there’s nothing hot about a girl losing herself to her pussy’s itch…acting all swoony and pathetic…I prefer a girl who hates sex and is only letting me inside her because I’m either paying or raping.

Pics via Bauer

I am a fan of public sex and apparently so is the rest of the world. There’s a whole lot of porn coming out with people getting it on in public and even the most wholesome chicks I talk to tell me stories of them sucking dick in public bathrooms or even in parks late at night. Now I have never had much public sex because it wasn’t trendy back when I was having sex but I am totally not against it. It’s actually one of the reasons I lurk around the city at night hoping to find some good action, but that’s just because I can’t afford a TV and prefer my porn to be some real life shit I’m spying on that some staged shit I come across on the internet, I guess part of me just wants to be invited into a couple’s bedroom to really get a feel for how things go down.

The good news is that Avril Lavigne and her boyfriend/husband/ teenage rebel are giving us a taste of what goes down between them in the bedroom, but I don’t call this public sex, it’s too fuckin’ tame, dudes just groping her a little because she’s probably getting her period and her hormones are all out of wack and it’s the only time of month she has tits worth grabbing. Unless I see him slipping it up her skirt while she sits on his lap like good public sex, I’m calling this lame, but a good try to be naughty, hope it sparks something in their sex life, because they got married too young and she’ll be bored of fucking him in about a minute, that’s when she’ll start banging her band members again.