I know – bad joke, but it was funny to me… for about a second, .but not as funny as the fact that this story is actually true and not some really sick joke on us.

…on her website, roseanneworld.com , she storms: “One of the interns who was administering my MySpace page has been fired. He has stolen my private sex tape.

“I am offering $25,000 for its return, unless someone would like to distribute it – then I am willing to deal.”

When I did the interview with Maxim Magazine last year, they asked me what celebrity sex tape would be the ultimate. The one that would let me hang my typing gloves up for good and never visit the site again because there’s never going to be a story as amazing as that one. I was caught off guard and all I could think of was a Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr sex tape called “The Thorns Within the Petals of the Roses” or something like that. That means that if the other person in the Roseanne Sex Tape is Rosie O’Donnell, I’ll have to bid you all a good fuckin’ night for good, because I am a man of my word at least 40 percent of the time.

All I know is the thought of Roseanne getting fucked is about as hot as thinking of my wife getting fucked, which is not very hot at all, but I still want to watch this video over and over again at various speeds to get the full effect. I doubt you’ll be able to see much, considering how far away the camera would have to be to get all of her in the shot and the real tragedy in all this is that it didn’t surface back in the 90s when she was substantially fatter and uglier in the sitcom days, I figure if we’re going to put ourselves through this kind of abuse, we might as well get the full fucking punch to the groin in sheer disgust.

Read the story by clicking the links Roseanne Barr’s Sex Tape Scandal

So I’ve been posting these pretty disgusting clips of Whoopi Goldberg talking about menopause and how it makes her panties wet, which was surprising because the thought of Whoopi in panties makes me sick to my stomach but the thought of her in a pair of wet panties makes shit all okay because as long as a pussy is wet, I’ve got no choice but to try to stick things in it. There’s nothing less attractive than sticking your hand down a sleeping girl’s underwear to find nothing but a cold dry pussy because it makes sticking things in pretty hard and since the fucking thing is unwilling.

Anyway, Roseanne was on Craig Ferguson’s show that I am shocked actually is still on the air and she makes some vagina surgery jokes. I always just assumed that since Roseanne is fat, her massive vagina would be buried and not meaty, so I can only assume this is a joke, but if it isn’t and she’s serious about wanting to use her disgusting empty donut box, I probably wouldn’t say no. That’s not saying much about me, but it’s saying something and that something is that I am a fucking sick person.