Sometimes it feels good to jerk off to other people’s women. You know hitting facebook and hunting down your friends’ wives and girlfriends in their bikinis, wondering why you are all alone, but they scored this hot piece of ass, making you feel like a loser, usually after you’ve already cum and the guilt sets in, making you unable to look either of them in the eyes next time they invite you over for a dinner party or whatever the fuck you and your friends do.
That satisfaction and shame is not as exhilerating when the bitch belongs to some celebrity named most eligible bachelor, but I don’t have any friends who have wives or girlfriends and even if I did, they’d probably get mad if I posted the nude pics they send me secretly cuz I know the right way to ask, but George Clooney on the other hand appreciates the publicity because the only reason he is dating her is becuase he owns her and believes that her acting career will make him a lot of money and this whole dating shit is just a front to get her in the tabloids. Everything is strategy.
I guess the Highschool Musical money making machine is back at work on a new movie, because that is the only explanation why anyone she worked with would be hanging out with her, she looks annoying like that.
The only good thing about these pictures of Tisdale, and I am saying this as someone who can’t stand the bitch for no reason other than her ugly face and her possible ego that I assume she has from being on these Highschool Musical bullshit, when she should be working the cash at the local Gap or some shit, making any picture of her a miserable fucking experience, are her shorts.
There’s nothing quite like slipping a hand up a pair of loose fitting shorts. You know vagina access from the leg. Bringing back great memories of my stepdaughters watching movies while chilling, unknowingly flashing me the goods….So I guess if anything Tisdale is good for one thing and that is reminding me of other girls worth lookin’ at pullin off her style of shorts better than her….
I don’t know who Jessica Lowndes is but she’s perfect for this post on how Halloween is just a fucking disappointment, year after year, people always dress the fucking same.
Sure, girls who normally wear pants, walk around in panties, and let their inner slut out, we’ve all heard that report before and it’s not fucking news anymore, but sometimes that’s just not enough. Sometimes, that is just boring because there’s never been a costume I’ve found creative, exciting or even worth paying attention to.
See I love bitches in underwear, I love straight laced girls slutting out and acting wild, I love drunk girls turning into whores, but the second I see a costume that I’ve seen before, I get bummed out, I just figure bitch is so generic and I get too discouraged to even appreciate her hot young ass in bootyshorts.
I don’t know what it is, maybe I’m going through a depression and don’t find excitement in the little things anymore, or maybe I just hate follower drones who can’t pull off something clever while being just as naked and slutty…
I didn’t go out this year, so maybe it was different, and I guess I should be less hateful towards everyday cheesy girls, because they will always exist, they will always ignore I exist, and I still want to fuck all of them, whether dressed like a cheerleader, sailor, sexy cop, wonder woman, nurse, school girl, princess, or whatever out of box costume they are rockin’ or not….
I don’t understand why Anna Faris gets cast as the dumb hot chick in all the movies she gets cast in…or at least the one movie I know of that she’s been in, because following Anna Faris’ career is really something I have any interest in doing, I really don’t have any interest in much more than naked chicks and watching Oprah in McDonald’s because they were smart enough to put TVs in some locations for the elderly folk and me to feel at home drinking their dirt cheap coffee, not that I have a TV at home, but shit is pretty comfortable and a great place to pick up pussy, if grandmothers or fat 14 year old Asian dudes are your thing, since they seem to be the only ones obsessed with the shit, because she is ugly.
Audrina was out showing off her stalky whore legs and everyone danced in excitement and by everyone, I mean no one, because even her biggest fans think she’s a waste of fucking space nobody and her only fans are her parents. That’s why they gave her breast implants, because they figured it may open up some doors for her that otherwise would never open, like a career stripping or high class escorting, cuz they couldn’t support her forever. so technically they don’t even count…
So this is what Rachel Bilson actually looks like….interesting…..
She’s go short pasty legs, looks pretty sloppy and unshowered like a bitch suffering from some kind of depression cuz she can’t get work and hates her life, she may even be a little chubby….but I can’t really tell because I am blinded by brightness of her white legs, like she’s shining a fucking flashlight in my eyes or some shit…..
I guess some people like to call this the look of someone who has given up, I like to call it the look of someone about to get marriage and the point of all this is to say, I’d still fuck her.
Everyone was so excited when this bitch did a sex scene with Megan Fox, like they were going to see two hot chicks making out and they whole thing annoyed me because I thought it was a pretty weak cry for attention. Seriously, every interview with this girl was about her kissing Megan Fox and if she liked it like she was Katy Perry and based on these pics, Seyfried looks just like the lesbian I just saw hopping off her bike in ripped jeans and plain wearing a beanie outside the health food store to buy vegan supplements and a menstrual cup because tampons are so bad for you and your period offers great nutrients for your plans. The kind of lesbian who studies philosophy, enjoys tea and only eats a raw diet or pussy but only if it still has bush, because that’s nature’s fucking way…so I really don’t get what the big deal about this bitch was…but I guess it was good for her career….and here she is in some pretty stupid shorts.
There’s no better way to cover up your disgustingly ravaged body for an ill-advised decision you made on a whim while sitting alone in your bathroom with a mouthful of cum after giving your ex a break-up blowjob in order to get yourself pregnant with your because he was trying to break up with you so that he could move onto move onto the newer teen heartthrobs after your fame and sex appeal was past its prime and on the fuckin’ decline, than a pair of oversized shorts.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d be more than happy to try to rebuild her vagina with my dick, or spend the night kissing the scars on her pussy from the birth better, but these pictures remind me of an old man at the hardware store buying gardening supplies….and last time I checked, that didn’t make me cum but probably could if I really focused because I am weird…
When Britney Spears dresses like this, it makes part of me wants to clean the K-Fed damage out of her vagaina with my mouth, there’s just something about her that I can’t get enough of, even when she’s dragged thru the fucking gutter and broken the fuck down, I really get these urges to insert a few fingers in her and pick her up, brush her off and make a puppet out of her, but that’s probably because I can’t smell her thru my computer, but kinda wish I could….
Hayden Pantettiere was seen wearing a pair of panties in public, sure they look like denim shorts, but that’s just cuz she’s a troll, it’s like the time my wife put on a pair of XXL sweatpants I got from the Salvation Army that didn’t have shit stains on them, and it looked like a brand new fucking pair of leggings on her fat calves, only my wife isn’t wanted by 99% the virgin, videogame, superhero, comic collecting crowd for sexual purposes, but in her defense, she’s not wanted by ANYONE for sexual purposes…..and in all honestly part of me wants to fuck Hayden and that part of me is my testicles….here are her pics…
I am guessing that Target is a corporate sponsor on the Britney Spears tour. They probably have a contract that says she needs to be spotted shopping there at least 3 times as some kind of endorsement deal to get their money’s worth out of supporting her, since they know if Britney goes to Target, the whole world will know about it. Especially if she goes there 2 days in a row, leading us to believe that if Target is good enough for Britney it’s good enough for the rest of us, even though Britney’s career path, if the music thing didn’t work out for her was going to be working as a cashier at her local Target, because she’s trash.
The good news is that she did her shopping in a sheer top, showing off her stomach like a southern hussie, while in short shorts and I liked it….
I guess Justine Bateman isn’t the fresh faced, young slut, we used to fantasize about on Family Ties back when Michael J. Fox wasn’t a living vibrator, because she’s wearing a pair of compression stocking to fight of her varicose veins, and there’s nothing hotter than a bitch who is fighting off varicose veins , except for the fact that they are usually in their 70s but relatively easy, cuz but the time they reach the point of wearing compression stockings they are pretty much at the point of taking anything they can get, because they know they don’t quite have it going on anymore, at least that’s what some old crazy dude who used to hang at the pantyhose rack at the pharmacy I worked at told me when I asked him why he was there 3 times a week for 3 hours at a time the second week I notcied him there.
But the good news is that Justine Bateman switches things up in a pair of shorts and clogs that lead me to believe she’s no longer a hollywood personality, but more of a swiss mountain man hearding sheep. Either way, I am friends with her on Facebook, or I was friends with her on facebook and that kind of love won’t let varicose veins, or baby baggage get in the way.
Do you ever look at mother’s of pretty much any age and wonder what position they were in the night their baby daddy’s sperm stuck. You know whether they were in doggy or missionary, or if they were on top. Were they doing something freaky or even the star pussy in a gangbang, cuz you know whatever it was left them filled with cum and that in and of itself is hot, at least before they find out they are pregnant and decide to keep the fuckin’ thing, and long before they ruin their bodies or in Jessica Alba’s career by having the fucking thing, because there was a time she was the talentless Megan Fox with a lot of sex appeal of her generation, but the second you pass the throne by knockin’ yourself up I guess people forget about you, unless you wear shorts and walk around with hard nipples and without your baby, because out of sight means visions of a ravaged vagina are out of mind….
I think she may have a hard nipple, but I can’t really tell, maybe you can and even if it’s not hard, you can pretend, since pretending is the basis of your sex life the last 5 years….
Who the fuck is Megan Hauserman and why are her shorts so great? It’s like with shorts this short and tight, it doesn’t matter how broken down this whore’s face is….More girls need to take her lead, I’m talking to you….girls.
I just found out that she’s a Playboy model which is code in America for one of the few bitches who isn’t fat but willing to get naked, unfortunately, it’s got to the point where they just don’t care about whether a bitch is good lookin’ or not, just as long as her ass isn’t long, lumpy, wide and disgusting in appearance, because whether it’s disgusting in other things is irrelevant when it comes to having pictures of the shit take, as photoshop can erase most blemishes and smells….right?
Wanna hear something you won’t give a fuck about, but I know because it was emailed to me by someone who either things I will give a fuck, or who is paid to spread the rumor around to raise this cunts public profile and that’s that she has been John Mayer’s fuck slut for over the last 2 years secretly, like that makes any fucking difference on my fucking life in any fucking way. If anything it makes me question humanity. Do normal people go to the water cooler and tell each other this incredible news like they are friends with either Kristin Cavallari or John Mayer? Do they call each other up and say shit like “OMG, Guess What? John Mayer banged Kristin Cavallari!! Isn’t that amazing!?!”…Who fucking cares, kill yourself, seriously. She’s a bitch from Laguna Beach….and now crawled her way onto the set of The Hills…aka a fucking nobody. Here she is showing off a bikini top.
