I don’t care for Kristen Bell. She’s got no sex appeal. She’s alright looking but definitely not worth getting excited for. I figure she’s average at best but for some reason you idiots think she’s amazing…

I think when a girl washes out a stain like Dax Sheppard out of her panties, it’s worth mentionning and celebrating…

Here are some pics of her walking around with a popsicle, that for some reason the paparazzi didn’t get pics of her sucking it, which could also be a big part of the reason why Dax dumped her boring ass anti-dick suckin’ ass….

Pics via Fame

Christina Ricci called off her engagement and is being forced to look for storage to keep her stuff in while she takes on this new chapter of her life being a single girl in a big world, who is not nearly as hot as she used to be, but at least has money and celebrity status that is enough for desperate dudes who used to jerk off to her fat tits before she murdered them, willing to explore the depths of her pussy.

The funny thing about these pictures is that the sign next to her head is also the same message that was written in the first valentine’s day card she ever got, only it read:

Thank your Vagina for BEING public storage for all of our dicks. We appreciate your effort.

And it was sent by the group of dudes she was fucking. True story. Something I predict will happen again now that she’s single and is going to go all crazy as all girls do.

Another true story. I used to have a crush on her when she was in the Addams Family, but that’s just because she was at her fresh-faced hottest…

Fine that wasn’t a true story, she was only 11 and it was meant to be a joke that none of you got because you aren’t even reading this….thanks for the support, here are the pics….

So Jennifer Love Hewitt and her boyfriend/fiance of 3 years broke up over the Holidays and I don’t really give a fuck, because I don’t feel sorry for anything bad that happens to celebrities, because I figure it balances out all the luck those fuckers have had over the course of their lives. They aren’t anymore talented than you and they don’t work harder than you and they aren’t fucking blessed so it’s nice when they deal with some real life issues. Sure breaking up on the holidays is bad, but not as bad as the time I dumped a longtime girlfriend who wanted to marry me on our 3 year anniversary because shit was getting heavy and she was totally not expecting it, she was actually expecting a ring, but I’m sure she’s happy the way shit panned out in retrospect….but that’s not the point, the point is the life lesson we can all take from this….

When you’re dating a fat chick and you don’t put the pressure on her to lose weight and take the weight gain as a sign of sexiness, comfort and stability, you’re fucking up, because girls don’t respect guys who date fat chicks, even if the fat chick is them. They look at the mirror in disgust and realize that something is wrong with you for not busting a fucking move like a real man, so the second they start working out, you gotta take that as a sign because it means they are about to get ready to move on to new dick.

Seriously, dude put up with her when she looked like this for probably half their fucking relationship and where did that loyalty get him, pretty much no where but with a big tattoo on his face for future girls as a guy they can walk all over because he stands by his chick through thick or thin….

Here are some pics of the happy couple on the 27th, before their worlds came crumbling down….or at least his world, because there’s no way he dumped her after sticking out the fat years. Idiot.