So this is the kind of think I do for my readers. I was emailed by one of you asking me to send my Myspace message to this bitch who always posts bulletins by “creeps” trying to “come on” to her on Myspace. I sent the message I posted on here last week and today she posted this bulletin. I don’t know whether I should be happy being the sketchiest myspace message of all time, according to some useless slag, or if I should be scared of losing my myspace profile for not respecting the rules. I think I will just stick to thinking this is an achievement cuz it takes talent to be this fucking sketchy, and remember the point of all this is to say, people take themselves way to fucking seriously. This is the internet…not real life.
Date: Aug 9, 2006 3:24 PM
Subject: sketchiest myspace message OF ALL TIME
Body: .
..and my profile is officially now set to private. I dont even have commentary for this one… Tom might though b/c i forwarded it to him. What a sick fuck. Enjoy.
“you are way out of my league.
but I can still jerk off to your myspace pics.
and I am.
that the irony of the internet.
youd never give me the time of day in person,
but here i am practically fucking your face
so I dont want you to get all freaked out..
I wont get you pregnant.
I am wearing a condom.
Emmalina is an Internet Celebrity in her own right. She has been featured in the Washington post and is one of the top YouTube video makers. More on here can be found HERE. Millions of people watch her retarded videos, spoof them, and hate on her for being a cam whore.
I only heard of her yesterday, when I cheked my email and found a link to pics of her naked. Proving that she is a cam whore. They are on photobucket and the gallery will probably go down. I am posting all that I have on my hard drive….non-nude….in case bitch is underage when they were take, cuz with a name like DrunkenStepfather, I am sure the FBI are reader number 13 and 14, so no riskin it for me….
Now, I could go into how much I hate internet celebrities, videoblogger/podcasters. I could also talk about hown much I hate people who have readers/viewers because I have been trying to get shit rolling for 2 years only to find that I am useless and that I suck at life. Pieces of shit like Emmalina put little effort and become a fucking phenomenon. I like to think there is something wrong here and that something is me….
PICTURES WERE REMOVED CUZ GIRL WAS 13 IN THEM. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW. STEPFATHER DOESN’T DO KIDDY PORN
A couple of days ago, I posted an exclusive video of some Singapore slut getting slammed. If you missed it, I suggest you keep it that way. If you are dying to see what I am talking about, you can see the post HERE.
People seem to think that bitch has locked down her blog, it’s not all that interesting. But I decided I’d post some pics of the Slag you see getting slammed in my post. That’s about all I’ve got to say about Vanessa. Her 5-minutes are up.
I am not posting this because I think it’s funny. I am not posting this because I think these dudes are good or have talent. I am posting it because they read the site and I have vowed to promote all my readers, even if they are 22 year old virgins or if their art is garbage. That’s what makes us an extended family. That was one of my first referencess to the “stepFAMILY” or being the “stepFATHER”….I just want you to realize that. Cuddles.
Jesus!
we all know that you’re just perez’s secret identity. you’re trying to make even more money than you already have because you only have one lear jet right now, and all the other celebs have two or, like, fifteen.
i mean, you’re either perez or some writer that ALMOST made it onto the vice staff but let your harry mexican ass get in the way again. you’d think with all those free latte’s you’d be sick of food, and would have slimmed down a bit! guess not.. time to join the likes of your stalkee and get on the coke diet.
but this is all beside the point.. i want YOU to make ME famous!
i know, i know.. i’ve never really done a whole lot for you, other than click on any and every porn ad your site has, but i can’t help the fact that i’m a 22 virgin, just like you can’t help the fact that you’re a dirty mexican.
so how about this… you make me famous, and i’ll stop putting bombs in your car… i mean, if you had a car.. then i would stop.. maybe..
peace from the middle east!
-Tall Man
ps. i almost quit the internet when your laptop got stolen. it made my heart hurt.
I am definitely not Perez, but I just made you famous, bitch.
I am writing this post for Sopha. She falls in love with everyone who I end up putting on this site, whether it’s Steve, Sasha or me. She is a 20 year old virgin from Singapore and she is not the kind of girl who takes naked pics, which means she’s not the kind of girl for me. But she did email me asking for more of Sasha, and coincidentally, he went out for more pictures of randoms cuz he liked the attention from the last post. I guess I made him famous. bitch.
Sasha Trying to Get in the Limo
Sasha Riding on a Garbage Truck
Sasha with a Couple Making Out
Sasha with “The Real Cancun”
Sasha with “Vinny the Cha-Chi”
Sasha with a Girl Who Doesn’t Want to be on the Internet
Steve left us, so we have replaced him. No time to waste. This is Sasha. Sasha probably doesn’t want his pictures on the internet, but sometimes it’s not about what other people want.
He was rollin’ around Montreal in an ironic t-shirt getting pictures of him with randoms. This is his night in picture. Tell your friends, I just made you famous, bitch.
I always figure if a bitch wants to be famous, I will make her famous. It’s kinda my job. That means if I come across a myspace profile or YouTube video that I think the masses need to be a part of, I will have no problem posting this shit. These are a couple clips posted by 16 year old lesbians licking whip cream off of each other. I already know how and why this went down, the girl doing the filming is some kind of molested girl who likes manipulating her friends into being naughty because she feels dirty for her seedy past. I wonder if her parents were home when all this went down…In reality, as funny as this is, I feel pretty sad that our society has become so over-sexualized that 16 year old girls are doing this and by the time they are 18 they will be full blown pornstars with Aids….but that’s not why I am sad, I am sad because I am not 16 anymore, and when I was 16 girls were too busy looking like shit in one-piece bathing suits to act like this….
Sometimes when I walk behind people I like to videotape their asses without them knowing. I especially like doing it when the girl I am filming has a hot ass, because I like hot ass more than non-hot ass. This is a video that I would have called Step Ass of the Day, but we are launching this new feature, where we post pics of random people off the street. There’s not much more to say about this, other than I want to titty fuck this girls ass and accidently get it pregnant, that way she’ll be forced to talk to me for the rest of our lives for the sake of our baby. Unfortunatley, my penis doesn’t work anymore, so I am stuck with this video. This girl is heaven. Enjoy.
Everyone is famous now that there’s the Internet. I am assuming that 20 years ago, when a dirty fat girl wanted to be in Playboy, she’d bust out the polaroid camera so the clerk at the camera store in her small town wouldn’t see the naughty things she’s been up to in the privacy of her trailer., so bitch takes a bunch a pics and sends them in to Playboy on her lunch break from the local chip wagon, where she works really hard making french fries all day in efforts to leave this hell she lives in, hoping that one day she’ll be all glamorous and famous like Pam Anderson, Jenny McCarthy and Anna Nicole Smith, the sexualized masturbation material of men everywhere. But Playboy never answered, and for the rest of her useless life she’d keep checking the mail hoping the dream would come true, but it never did, so she thinks maybe it’s cuz she’s a fat slob, runs to the Walgreens, buys a box of diet pills but ate the whole thing and died. Fast forward 20 years, and all that bitch has to do is open a Photobucket account and hope for someone like me to come around….that’s right, I just made you famous, bitch.
Check out her account here, before bitch shuts it down (thanks ted)
Steve gets drunk and doesn’t get people’s consent to film them after he humiliates them, usually because they want to kill him. I post the video anyway because, I am broke and have nothing so suing me would be a huge waste of time and would get us nowhere. I would probably have to take down a funny clip cuz someone was embarassed about their drunken behavior. That would make me mad. I like people, like our star of Jersey Girl’s Are Trash clip, who stand by what they done did and instead of hating on us, she laughs it off and becomes a fan. This is an email I got from Steve, he asked me to post it, I am happy that some random girl in Jersey came across our site and our video of her…I guess I have more reach than I thought. Here’s Steve’s email.
hey dude,
I have good news and I have bad news.
The bad news is, Jersey Girl has tracked us down. She made a bunch of comments on the original post, along with some girl named “Ash”. I’m pretty sure Ash is the other girl in the video.
The good news, however, is that I have found her myspace
After multiple messages, comments, and disses, she finally gave me her AIM contact. Now she is my biggest (and only) fan. She told me she is coming back to visit me in the summer. I am going to take her on a date.
Last night I fell asleep trying to figure out why the fuck a girl, who I publicly embarrassed, would give me the time of day. The conclusion I came to is this: Hot chicks like getting dissed. They are sick of guys coming up to them in bars and clubs and running the same old game. So my advice to any guy reading this is as follows. Go to a bar, find a hot chick, and make fun of her. She will fall in love with you. If she doesn’t, then push her to the ground. It’s funny as hell.
Steve.
I think it’s pretty obvious that she’s not really a fan and seeking revenge, she’ll go on a date with Steve and give him herpes or have her black boyfriend beat him or some shit, like he deserves, for being a dick and pushing her down in the first place….I know that I woulda tried to at least titty fuck the bitch before giving up on her.
This is where I decided to post a pheromone link, because the shit works, and I figured why that coupled with Steve’s advice, you’ll be eating pussy in no time.
I am not gonna dis this bitch. I am not gonna shit on the way she maintains. I am not gonna talk about how I wouldn’t fuck her if I could because she’s the kind of girl who has a stinky cooch. I know one of her friends is one of my readers because of myspace and I wouldn’t want to piss off a whole group of freakshows by saying the wrong thing about this one. What I will say is that this topless, bloody nipple, clown mask shit is not sexy at all, but it is funny as hell so for that I would totally bend you over, pull down that soiled diaper of yours and slam you raw dog. I am not scared of death…..and by death I mean your cunt. I think this kinda talk is the reason I have no advertisers. Speaking of cunt, I just made you famous, bitch.
Despite what the 2 people who read this site think, I am not a therapist. I actually have no idea what I am talking about. I am just a bitter fat guy who can’t get it up and who hates his life because, I suck at life.. Just nothing works out from jobs I got fired from, to marriage to a fat chick, to mistresses I could once pleasure before impotence. I can barely keep this site alive. People are bored of my story, and traffic is going down to shit. People don’t link me cuz I am too hardcore/offensive for their advertisers, and I don’t think that will stop me. People who compromise their voice for a dollar are pussies.
Anyway, I was sent this photobucket account of some girl who is obviously anorexic. Her pictures are titled “Spine”, or “Back bone and ribs”, or “fat legs”, or “ugly face”, or “thinspiration”. All I have to say to this ano bitch is that eating disorders are so played out, no one cares that you don’t eat. No one is listening when you tell us how fat you are, and when you are in therapy and group therapy or dead of malnourishment, we will all laugh because your issues are so lame and self absorbed. Get a fucking perspective, and realize that life isn’t about seeing your rib cage, it’s about having orgasms and no one will give you an orgasm if your uterus is draggin on the ground behind you cuz you have no muscles to keep the shit contained. You should also remember that no matter how hard you try to not eat, you’ll always be a fat bitch to me. I know you are a fake ano, cuz if you were so self-conscious, you think you’d shave your muff, you disgusting slag. Now don’t kill yourself, especially not because I made you famous, bitch. You posted these pics online, don’t make me feel guilty for coming across them. I am definitely scared of ano bitches, because they are crazy. Cuddles.
My street team went out at some hipster event, and thought it would be funny to take a picture of some of the hipsters at the event for the site, because as we all know, hipsters are fucking funny. The joke was that we’d hold up signs next to the hipster without them knowing with relevant lyrics on those signs. They only did one because they forgot to bring paper with them and it was for this guy. He obvioulsy learned how to be gay by watching Party Monster, it’s a movie, it was concluded that he was a product of molestation and molested people are always funny. If you’re wondering why I have a street team, it’s for content, so fuck you. And molested dude in the picture, I just made you famous, bitch.
This is a message I sent to some bitch named Cooter. I guess she doesn’t read my site, because if she did she would know that Cooter is one of my favorite words.
I have a crush on ppl named cooter.
even if they are dirty baby factories
I want you to read my site
and we can talk about your uterus later- you fertile bitch -
love
jesus martinez
drunkenstepfather.com
Her response:
go fuck yourself
More on cooter….
i’ve been married to the most wonderful guy on the face of the earth (jeremiah) for over five years now and we have the two cutest kids in the world, bradley 4 and logan 2. oh and did i mention my kids are f-ing geniuses. yeah, thats right. jealous? jeremiah joined the army for a bit and we left the RC for a while, and now he has a good job right here in cow stank u.s.a…
Look – I wasn’t trying to offend “Miss Molly Homemaker”, I assume she never got her easy bake oven as a kid, and decided that at the age of 20 it was time to play house, unless baby number one was an accident and she’s some psycho born again who instead of getting an abortion gets married. Either way, I was just trying to send some love, and she was very rude to me. That’s why I just made you famous, bitch.
Raymi the Minx is a girl with mad issues. She sits up at night writing ebooks about being crazy, drug addiction, abusive boyfriends, living in NYC, doing internet porn and sends those ebooks to me when she is drunk. I actually read the whole thing in one sitting and was impressed. It seems that she is only nice to me when she is drunk, which is always, she drinks a lot, probably cuz of the mental illness. She lives in Canada and she has a cat, reads way too much Vice, like she’s living the hipster life or something equally cliche and even runs a blog about her. I hate self-righteous bullshit blogs but I told Raymi that I would give her a link on my site for naked pics last summer. I never did, even though she did send me the naked pics. I guess I am a bit of a scammer like that. I dont have the naked pics anymore, because I am an idiot with a shitty computer – but you can harass her yourself, you fuckin perverts. So Raymi, If you are reading this, don’t say I never hooked you up and remember that I still want a pic of your cooter. I know this wasn’t a funny entry, but mental illness is only funny when the person is so crazy that they drool all over themselves while smashing their heads into the wall while chronically masturbating in an asylum.
