This is a message I sent to some bitch named Cooter. I guess she doesn’t read my site, because if she did she would know that Cooter is one of my favorite words.
I have a crush on ppl named cooter.
even if they are dirty baby factories
I want you to read my site
and we can talk about your uterus later- you fertile bitch -
love
jesus martinez
drunkenstepfather.com
Her response:
go fuck yourself
More on cooter….
i’ve been married to the most wonderful guy on the face of the earth (jeremiah) for over five years now and we have the two cutest kids in the world, bradley 4 and logan 2. oh and did i mention my kids are f-ing geniuses. yeah, thats right. jealous? jeremiah joined the army for a bit and we left the RC for a while, and now he has a good job right here in cow stank u.s.a…
Look – I wasn’t trying to offend “Miss Molly Homemaker”, I assume she never got her easy bake oven as a kid, and decided that at the age of 20 it was time to play house, unless baby number one was an accident and she’s some psycho born again who instead of getting an abortion gets married. Either way, I was just trying to send some love, and she was very rude to me. That’s why I just made you famous, bitch.
Raymi the Minx is a girl with mad issues. She sits up at night writing ebooks about being crazy, drug addiction, abusive boyfriends, living in NYC, doing internet porn and sends those ebooks to me when she is drunk. I actually read the whole thing in one sitting and was impressed. It seems that she is only nice to me when she is drunk, which is always, she drinks a lot, probably cuz of the mental illness. She lives in Canada and she has a cat, reads way too much Vice, like she’s living the hipster life or something equally cliche and even runs a blog about her. I hate self-righteous bullshit blogs but I told Raymi that I would give her a link on my site for naked pics last summer. I never did, even though she did send me the naked pics. I guess I am a bit of a scammer like that. I dont have the naked pics anymore, because I am an idiot with a shitty computer – but you can harass her yourself, you fuckin perverts. So Raymi, If you are reading this, don’t say I never hooked you up and remember that I still want a pic of your cooter. I know this wasn’t a funny entry, but mental illness is only funny when the person is so crazy that they drool all over themselves while smashing their heads into the wall while chronically masturbating in an asylum.
I wrote for Fleshbot for a while this summer, before that cunt Violet Blue complained to my man Jonno about the fact that I wasn’t a trained sex writer. For the record, I hate cunts who take their fucking line of work too seriously, and I am not a trained writer in anything not just sex. Point is, you are illegitimate, like 3 of my kids I pretend don’t exist, stop trying to legitimize your perversion and leave me the fuck alone. Keep your complaining to your Aids clinician when your lesions get out of hand, hooker.
Point of that was to say, I don’t read sex blogs much anymore, but I did come across a girl on MySpace who had semi-nude pics. I was like, “Girl, Send me the real deal”, because I fucking love nude pics and she did. Along with an article she wrote for SexWrecks, a site I know, but don’t read, cuz I am lazy.
Point of the story is go to SexWrecks, read her article, cuz I am trying to make this bitch famous. If you aren’t interested, that’s fine. You can always go fuck yourself.
Some people take US Weekly a little too seriously. They look at the pictures of celebrities and say to themselves “Oh MY God! That could totally be me!!!!!”, so girl goes out shopping lookin’ for the outfits she saw that celebrity in, when it’s all said and done we get a bunch of celebrity looking motherfuckers on the streets of our hometowns.
Today we honor this girl who looks like Mary Kate Olson(of the day). Guess what, I just made you famous, Bitch.
Unfortunately, I am an asshole. I don’t know why but I take pleasure in other people’s misery, even when those said people are completely harmless and content in their existance. Some righteous part of me feels the need to point out their insecurities and flaws, it’s not meant to be hurtful, it’s just a way to give people an outsite, realistic perspective on their behavior. I don’t sit here on my throne, and by throne I mean 2 milk crates, thinking I am any better than you, but when it comes down to it, I probably am. This is a myspace profile that I came across and felt it deserved to be commented on. This girl’s maternal instinct is kickin’ in hard, she’s ready for love, proven by her “erotic” pics, and ready for babies proven by her uncomfortable relationship with her cat. So here after the laughter subsided here at DrunkenStepfather, I decided to reach out and do a little public service, because it’s been a while since the court ordered me to help the community, and I figured I had my fair share of lonely male readers on the site, so I decided to direct all you guys, who are ready to settle down to this poor girl, and in the process give all you sane people a good laugh, because admit it, other people’s misfortune and a crazy cat lady under 30 is always fucking funny.
Visit this slut Here, but don’t tease her, she will just try to convince that she’s completely happy with her life and don’t say I am all bad, cuz baby I may get you cock.
What’s going on motherfuckers. You gots to understand one simple thing and that is for every person I make laugh I make 10 other people hate me. I am willing to sacrifice those potentially fantastic friendships for the laughs that I do get…and to be honest, I doubt I would ever hang with any of these cunts, they bore me. So I check my email while smoking a cigarette after a night out and I am lucky enough to get some hate from Brendan McCloskey. The positive thing is that Brendan is horrible on the disses, and her downs syndrome attempt at breaking me down, was just that…fucking retarded. Now I like retards as much as the next pervert, they are pretty easy to impress, but I don’t like people dissing me with no style. The dis is an artform that our Lady Brendan doesn’t have so Brendan- here’s to your virginity….and people – if you are reading this I ask you to email this cunt and tell him what’s up. DrunkenStepfather loves you cunts, now cc me on that shit. I just made you famous, bitch.
You are one angry fat fuck… It is ironic that the fat guy you proclaim to be is so hard on fat people who in actuality are not fat. Wow, The only thing more grotesque than your form, is well, you. My only hope is that you get hit by a Mack truck. Well, first it will probably bounce off of you and cause some damage, perhaps internal bleeding. Then, I am thinking you will feel fine and continue on your way to McDonald’s where after your 14th double quarter pounder with cheese (extra cheese, I am sure) your fat heart will explode from all the pressure of the bleeding and sheer fatness. Well, at least you got your last meal.
It is always the fat bastards like you who fling the word fat around.
The benefit of running this kind of website is simple. Guys send in pictures of their wives and girlfriends naked, and I get to make them famous (bitch). This is a picture of some Swedish women in and out of the shower. The explination is in the email (below). If you look closely enough you can even see bush…..
This is a 33year old swedish girl,straight from sweden. Just getting out of a shower. Her name is Hillevi. Let me know if you put these pic’s out there. Yours truly Steve
So her name is Jes, she is 22 and her baggage is a 2 year old boy. She’s not all that hot, and proves that even ugly girls get laid…in her case without a condom. I know what her strategy was, she is so transparent, tamper with your birth control and trap the motherfucker, because you know there is little chance anyone will ever love you. It’s okay Jes, I am here to help you find yourself a man, as classy as single mother’s are, I think your son needs a father figure, what better place than here to find yourself some desperate fuck who is so hungry for pussy, that he overseas the fact that you’re a mommy. Guys, at least Jes puts out….and doesn’t use condoms…yes it does feel better! So contact her.
I don’t really understand what people are thinking when they put up personal websites. People like me will always come across them and laugh at you. If you are tired of being teased because highshool is over, you best not put yourself in these situations. I understand that you are a loser, but at least you have loser friends to go on trips with. I expect you to continue doing things that warrant being mocked only because you can’t help it. I have never been to Ibiza so you have one up on me in that respect. I have however had sex, so I guess I got the edge. So I paid for most of it, who cares, at least I know want giving a rim job while a girl pees on my face is all about….
Here is a Synopsis of their trip:
I can remember when we first decided we were going to go on holiday together, …we had to go to Ibiza, we were all just coming up to be 18 years old, so it had to be done…We didn’t care about not getting any sleep because of all the noise as we planned to be making all the noise…on the aeroplane as we started to knock back the vodka…our room had lipstick writing on the walls, which had been done by the boys that had stayed in the room before us…We met loads of dodgy people. The most dodgy had to be the 5 Italian blokes who kept trying to convince us to go around with them, and telling us that they “No want naughty”. Hmmmm, sure….
If you want to see the photos from this trip of a lifetime Visit The Site Here
This motherfucker has a boner for Matthew Good. He comes to my site to fucking bitch me out about dissin’ his shitty sexual fantasy,canadian useless musician, Matthew Good. This motherfucker is trying to get into Matthew Good’s pants by working the wife by being one of her blog friends. I fucking hate bloggers. I hate how useless people in society band together, and think they have a voice, because equally pathetic people are reading their fucking garbage. I don’t appreciate anyone who writes poetry. I don’t like anyone who thinks acting pretentious and sounding smart is cool. I don’t want those kind of people coming here, because they take things too fuck seriously. They think their life is so important and deep, and it depresses me.
I especially don’t need some closet case who hates himself, has never found love, has no self esteem and who lacks enough common sense to understand the humor of this site, coming here harassing me. I don’t like harassment.
He assumes all of you are retarded or 14 year olds who are jerking off to pictures of Lisa Loeb in a thong, meanwhile, this cunt found the site looking for John Cusack in his wet underwear pictures. I know only 80 percent of you are retards, and by retard I mean downs syndrome and cerebral palsy, and I will push you around in your wheelchair anytime.
I also don’t appreciate people with overbearing parents who can’t accept the fact that they like the cock. Or people who drove their own father to an early grave for having a useless cunt of a son. Or people who have crushes on musicians and try to meet their crushes by flirting with the wife of their crush on the internet.
I did a post on Jenny Good, cuz she is hot and I want to see her naked. I didn’t do it to get some loyal suicidal cunt fan of a shitty canadian artist dissing me or my people.
Here’s his myspace profile:
About me:
I am as confused and complex as there is…moody, hmm, maybe…though, at the risk of sounding pretentious, i prefer an adjective more complicated…i don’t want to categorized so easily, that would be death…and breathing and I get along just fine…
Who I’d like to meet:
Matthew Good
Here’s his poem:
You’re sitting next to me
The leaves are on the ground
My heart is in your hands
The ticking of the clock
The siren on the street
My heart is in your hands
But all I ever wanted
All I ever really needed
Was just for you to hear me
Just for you to really know me
All I wanted was you to hear me
And all I needed was you to know me
Miles and miles of smiles
Promising the world
It’s getting dark down here
We could use a little help
We could use a little spark
Its getting dark down here
But all I ever wanted
All I ever really needed
Was just for you to hear me
Just for you to really know me
All I wanted was you to hear me
And all I needed was you to know me
You’re sitting next to me
The leaves are on the ground
My heart is in your hands…
Now everyone, laugh at the expense of this fool. But realize I am not the prick here, he drove me to do this by attacking me and what I do, I am nothing but love for the world. I don’t like fights. It’s just a cry for attention from a boy who’s father never gave him enough love. Oh, and he was in the army and he served your country in Iraq and this poofter only joined the army to watch the men in the shower before he was discharged for trying to give one of his general’s a blowjob.
I am not jewish, but i am a member on every dating site on the internet, because I don’t discriminate. I decided I should post my JDate Match of the day. If this is you or your sister/cousin/friend, be happy, I just made you/her famous. Bitch. She hasn’t been in a relationship since highschool, this girls needs some hot cock lovin’ – hook her up…yo.
Full profile after the jump.
About her (she’s gonna be a $Doctor$)
I like to think of myself as free-spirited and fun. I enjoy being with people who can laugh as much as I do at the little things. I love the outdoors and any type of animal. I am very close with my family and they are some of the most important people in my life. I love to ski, swim, camp and cuddle. Right now I am in my second year of medical school and finally feel like I’m learning. I keep myself going all the time by reminding myself why I am doing this: to gain the skills to help anyone, anywhere, anytime. I try to define my life by what good I can do for others and for the world. No teasing here so look for my name where people laugh online in canada.
Ideal Relationship
Oh god. I don’t think I really want to answer this because I haven’t found that yet. I think a relationship is what you both make of it. Of course it would involve two happy people, both of whom has spent enough time single to be fully happy with themselves as individuals and thus have self-confidence. We would both do little spontaneous things for each other such as show up on the doorstep unexpected, just to show we care. I wouldn’t try to fix him, and he wouldn’t try to fix me. We would each listen to the other’s problems without prejudice or impatience. Romance is important, and affection is a must
Perfect First Date
To tell the truth, I haven’t been on all that many! The best one however was outdoors .so my date would go as follows: We’d meet for lunch at a little cafe, on the patio, in the sunshine. Over a nice meal and some wine we start to get comfortable talking to each other and break the ice. Later we go for an ice cream before hitting some place like the Old Port of Montreal, or a lakeshore, or a mountaintop. We relax in the grass and really get to know each other, watch the sunset, and depending how much we’re enjoying it we stay longer or take a nice drive home. Kissing is welcome, but in any case we hug goodnight and look forward to the next time together.
Learned from Past Relationships:
First of all: I haven’t been in a relationship since high school, so honestly I don’t know what I’m talking about. But here’s what I learned when I was 17: I don’t always have to be right, and neither does he. We both have problems that need discussing but neither of us is necessarily looking for a solution. Debating a topic shouldn’t lead to arguments or a large-scale fight. Love is something that can be lost easily and should be cherished. Never ever lose touch with friends because you are lost in your relationship and blind to the world. Possessiveness is a negative thing.
What’s going on motherfuckers. You gots to understand one simple thing and that is for every person I make laugh I make 10 other people hate me. I am willing to sacrifice those potentially fantastic friendships for the laughs that I do get…and to be honest, I doubt I would ever hang with any of these cunts, they bore me. So I check my email while smoking a cigarette after a night out and I am lucky enough to get some hate from 
