I just got online from a weekend of binging on drugs and booze cuz being straight edge and sober will kill you. So while I go look and see what’s going on, here’s some shit in the stepFORUM to keep you entertained. Along with all the good content, there’s also good people, even girls who will sleep with your pathetic ass if you tell them they are pretty, the challenge is just finding the ones who are actually chicks and not 45 year old dudes pretending to be chicks. It is like a modern day treasure hunt cuz motherfucker, I like adventure. That’s why I ate out a homeless chick on her period this weekend, at least she said she was on her period, but the tampon may have just been there from a while ago, when her irregular, malnourished ass had its last period, or maybe she’s using it to collect the puss from an infection, either way, my tongue feels like I burnt it on a hot cup of tea….keepin’ it classy, one STD at a time.
I used to think that forums were made for virgin losers who sit around at home with nothing better to do before realizing that bored people sitting around doing nothing are more inclined to get naked and masturbate on webcam for you, because there’s nothing much else going on and they’re nothing getting dick in their everyday life. Unfortunately, that never worked out too well for me cuz I always sabotage myself by making offensive bad jokes, but I know a bunch of dudes who have got a lot of pussy off webforums….now I don’t know if the stepFORUM is like that, but based on the tit pics I’ve been getting, I think the shit is…you may wanna check it out….
There are titties on the Drunken stepFORUM which means shit is getting more ass than you are….maybe you should get yourself up on that shit and maybe it’ll lead to you getting tits in real life….
Speaking of internet pussy….I just signed up on a dating site for jokes cuz I am bored and this is what my profile reads….
About Me
Masturbating to online dating profiles. Dreaming of one day masturbating to the girl in the online dating profile in person. I am unique because I am into things people usually get locked away for being into and I like square dancing….
First Date
it would start with me alone on my computer masturbating to all the dirty pics the girl I am going on a date with sent me and would end with me masturbating on her. What we do in between really doesn’t matter.
I hope it works out for me….actually I don’t because I refuse to meet people off the internet…
While I try to pull myself together by staring at the nude pictures some hot black girl sent me yesterday, here’s some shit going on in the stepFORUM that you may find interesting….
So I posted the pee girl pictures in the stepFORUM. Go find them. While you do, check out some of the other amazingness going on there…because there’s a lot of it…I mean my friend peeing on a chick we just met while I watched isn’t the only good thing going on in the world, it’s just the only good thing going on in my world…
I met a girl off an internet forum a lot of years ago because I was in jail or some group home shit and had access to the internet. She wrote me romantic bullshit about how she loved me and I had nothing else going on for me so I went a long with it. She sent me pictures of herself and she looked beautiful and someone I could really connect with, maybe even someone who would get me out of the hell life I was living so I agreed to meet her in person, thinking the worst that will happen is she’ll be a 50 year old dude with a gun ready to rape me and at that point in my life, that didn’t even seem so bad, so I relieved when I saw her and realized that the picture she had sent me must have been 20 years old, and bitch was a fuckin’ pig of a woman, but I had nothing better to do so went along with the date, fucked her because I was horny and 6 months later married her becuase I figured she’d give me the good life, I was wrong…
People like to shit on Forums because they are dated and shit like Facebook and fuckin’ whatever the fuck else is out there making them almost obsolete, but I like to keep things vintage and say fuck you to real social networking communities, by keeping it old school, because Forums are where I first explored the internet, where I first found love and hateful internet wars with young punks and weirdos when I used to join random communities and fuck with the members because I’ve pretty much never had any productive way to spend my time…
So, here’s some shit going on in the stepFORUM…maybe you will find love, or hate, or pictures of tits, enjoy.
Apparently the stepFORUM has mom’s with big breasts who are down with showing them off to the virgin weirdos who I am sure are great guys when they aren’t too busy making their weapons since they are medieval battle hobbyist and gave up on all hope of getting laid. So it’s gotta be a good place to hang out.
On a sidenote a busty 15 year old girl who had pictures of her in panties and bikinis that were definitely slutty and definitely not kiddie porn hit me up threatening to get me sent to jail cuz someone uploaded the shit, so I guess that’s just more proof it’s a good place to kick it on the internet….
Here is one example of the quality people who land in the stepFORUM. They may not be the kind of people you want to hang out with in real life, they may not even be the kind of person you would want to have your real name or address, but they are the kind of people who are pretty good to laugh at, despite the fact that they scare away the ladies, not that girls come to this site, but you get what I’m saying…this motherfucker’s creepy, but that won’t strop him from training your pussy new creepy tricks…
I may or may not have gone out drinking last night only to be introduced to a hot ex-stripper with fake tits who was sitting next to me making fun of my ghetto plastic bag i carry around filled with chage and use as my wallet. Shit got a little crazy when her and her friend were fighting over the same guy and unfortunately I wasn’t that guy, forcing me to come home to my wife and have all my dreams of hot ex-stipper pussy raped away as I penetrated my wife….
Here’s some shit going on in the stepFORUM that may remiind you of rape. I am nursing my hangover and huntin for the next update….
I have a hangover and this motherfucker I know who likes to announce everytime he is going to jerk off, told me that if I was in shape, I wouldn’t get fuckin’ hangovers and that I should start working out for my drinking, what he doesn’t understand is that I drink to destroy myself, not to better my fuckin’ self or as a fuckin’ sport I need to train for. So if I ever decide to get off my computer, to stop lurking the stepFORUM, to stop watching porn, to stop seducing d-list actors badly, and to hit the gym, to watch everything that goes into me, it’d probably be in efforts to live a longer, healthier, more stable life in the fuckin gutter that I am probably never getting out of.
The good news, is that I am a lazy motherfucker, and I’ll take 3 day hangovers anyday over a gym membership.
I fingered a fat chick on the dancefloor because fat chicks are easy and because I have no standards when I’m in the mood to drunken molest. If you join the stepFORUM maybe you’ll get to finger a fat chick on the dancefloor too, or at least get a bitch on webcam or a 40 year old fat dude who pretends to be a chick to send you nude pics. Just so you know that 40 year old fat dude is me, now tell me about you dick…
I posted on the stepFORUM for a first time in a long fucking time because I am busy balancing alcholism, creeping out girls, and updating the site, and it was a glorious experience, so glorious that I had to celebrate by going to a local bar, befriending the owner and drinking for free until 5 in the morning. Unfortunately, the owner wasn’t a big breasted whore suckin’ my dick, but maybe I’ll find one of those on the stepFORUM and you can too.
Sidenote, I did not just get a boner at McDonald’s while watching soap operas with no sound.
It is a long weekend here. I just went outside and shit is like a Sunday. I went to a bar last night and shit was like a Saturday. None of my employed friends are working today. None of my unemployed friends ever work. That said, I am here updating the site like some kind of migrant fuckin’ worker because trust me the pay is the fuckin’ same as the Mexicans they ship in get paid to pick the farms up here, but I can’t you for that, I can only hate myself.
Here are some links to shit goin’ on in the stepFORUM as I gather my thoughts.
I still have the stepFORUM so you should go use it because I am sure, like all things it will be shut down eventurally, so take it in when you can.
I also still have a lump on my asshole that we’ve assumed is a hemorrhoid the last week and a half. It’s decided to start bleeding the last two days, I guess it is karma for being seen as a woman hater, even though I love and appreciate women and had no interest in experiencing what having a period is like first hand, and much rather just keep my experience with periods with getting the shit all over my stomach, pelvis, hands and face like I am used to because period is a celebration of not being pregnant and that’s exciting enough for me to make out with it.