Carrie Underwood must have a heavy flow and these stockings save her from the embarassment of having period drip down her leg on national TV, because it kinda just cammoflages and absorbs the shit like it never happened and and saves her from big scale disgusting that would otherwise happen provided she was bare skinned or in light colors.

This is a little fashion tip for girls everywhere to take note of, because getting your period in white pants, shorts or bathing suits, although erotic for people who like fertile women and who find periods sexy, espeially if you’re in high school…because that’s the time of your life that getting your period will get you a nickname that follows you forever, you like “Bloody Pussy Legs” or “murder scene jean” or something more creative and funnier that the rest of the “more talented than me” class comes up with.

Pics via Bauer

Here is recently turned 20 Riley Keough. She’s a model who is better known as Elvis’ granddaughter and Lisa Marie’s daughter with Michael Jackson. I am an Elvis fan and like many Elvis fans, I’d get excited to be up inside and tickling something he created 25% of, but that’s really got nothing to do with why I’d be willing to spend a couple hours doing inappropriate things with her, and the fact that she has a vagina does, who cares who her family is, just show me the pink, ya know.

I don’t find her very good looking and I like to blame nepotism for her succcess, but she is slated to inherit big money and walks around in suggestive stockings like some kind of dirty secretary trying to get a raise for her stockin’ fetish boss and that’s good enough for me. I mean if you saw what I have been fucking the last decade you’d realize I have no business turning down any pussy, even if it was on a dead racoon I found in a dumpster that was warm thanks to the summer weather and moist thanks to the decomposing.

Here are those pics….