Alison Brie is a half Jewish actress on Mad Men and now she is half naked in Complex. She’s gone a long way from performing at her local Jewish Community Center where she was trying to prove that she was as Jewish than the other Jewish kids even though she was only half the Jew she wished she could be….while the real Jews had better things to do than hang at the Jewish Community Center since they didn’t come from homes with only one Jewish parent, they were comfortable in their skin and didn’t have the same identity issues, so spent their days smoking weed and yelling at their Filipino/Mexican nannies instead….

The funny thing about Alison Brie is that her and I have something in common, we both worked as clown’s at children’s birthday parties, only she ended up on TV and I ended up with a restraining order and court ordered substance abuse classes.

I don’t know what Shauna Sand was up to this weekend, but I do know she had some kind of flashback to her days workin’ the pole and took off clothing in public before getting into the car. I can only assume that whoever the fuck homeboy who is driving her around is, was expecting a good time on the ride home and she was just prepping, or maybe dude wanted her dirty panties rubbin’ up against his seat so that whenever he needed something to jerk off to, he could always just sniff the fuckin’ seat and smell her putrid cunt, but the point is that I wish more girls had this kind of attitude. The only time I can convince a girl to take off clothes for me is when we are at the stripclub and she’s doing it anyway, but I do a running commentary in my head that makes me feel like I am directing the whole thing and delusionally more involved than I am actually am. It’s that kind of fantasy that helps me keep livin’ and despite Shauna Sand being disgusting, she’s still better lookin’ than most hookers I come across….which isn’t saying much, because the hookers I know have rotting faces and tit jobs that make Shauna Sand’s botched job look like a work of art, but it is still saying something….