Kate Moss was out on a yacht sun tanning topless because that’s what she does. The rumor is that she’s pregnant and that is why she looks like she’s got a fat uterus but she’s not pregnant enough for me to not want to have sex with her, not that I am sure any girl is ever too pregnant to fuck, I mean sure it’s the kind of 3 some no one really wants to fuck with, but if the baby isn’t yours there is just so much complexity to what your dick is dippin into that you just can’t not do it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it does to me.

Jordan rocked a bunch of towels the other day at the beach. I thought that it had something to do with her body being sloppy, saggy and scarred up. Maybe it had to do with her being insecure about her tits since they aren’t as big as they once were, I mean who the fuck knows what the fuck goes through a woman like Jordan’s mind, other than the complex thought of how to use her tits to peddle more product and make more money because she wasn’t satsified getting 10 dollars a song like the other strippers out there and I think above all it reflects how fucked our society is and what we really put importance on.

That said, here she is at a tanning salon getting a tan, because I guess her shade of orange is fading and needs to be retouched and that’s probably the real reason for the Towel Bikini….

Here are some pictures of Lohan with some kind of botched tan job. Now I don’t spend as much time as I should at the tanning salon, because it’s the one place I know that I will see strippers, porn sluts and trash outside of their element and that is exciting to my useless life, so I don’t know if her fucked up tan line is from passing out in the tanning bed with a dick she was suckin’ across her chin or if it’s just a bad spray tan done by the same asshole who wrote “CUNT” across my forehead in sunscreen the last time I was on the beach….but I have a feeling that I was the guy who wrote CUNT across some drunk dude’s face and it wasn’t in sunscreen, it was in piss because I think pissing on passed out people is funny, at least I did 10 years ago when it happened…

Either way, I guess this white splotch on her face is a lot less messy than the white splotches she’s used to having on her face, but a little more socially acceptable, because when she normally walks out of her house with cum dripping off her chin, people usually avoid her, now they just laugh at her….

So here’s to Lohan’s failed attempt to be Lionel Richie for the day. This counts as black history month content because white folk trying to be mo’ black makes them honorary or some shit.