I am a huge fan of teenage prostitutes, mainly because when I was a teenager, getting pussy was pretty fucking impossible because the girls my age weren’t putting out, but also because she trapped three high profile European Athletes with her vagina, probably extorted them and is getting paid off by them, while getting all the fame she wants, all by the age of 18. Usually it takes a whore a few years to realize that life doesn’t really work out as easily as expected, before she actually becomes a fucking whore…..but this girl started young, cuz there’s no need to fuck around if you know where you want to be, and really there’s no upside to being a whore at 18, cuz there’s no real in scandal at that, but at 17, shit’s next level…speaking of next level, check out this outfit, sure it’s tacky as fuck, like something you’d expect on some cheesy stripper, but she’s wearing it on the street, and if you are a girl, you should do, cuz it will make leaving my house way more fun…
I don’t know who this Sarah Hyland chick is – but apparently she’s on TV. I did look up her age, because she’s definitely not worth getting arrested over and it turns out that she’s 19 so despite looking 14, she’s legal and I guess that’s the whole problem with sex offenders, you see there are 14 year olds out there with 32F bra sizes and 20 year olds her look 11, but the guys who fuck the 14 year olds are criminals and the ones who fuck the 20 year olds who look 11 aren’t and I guess all I gotta say is that they better keep a close eye on this Hyland’s boyfriend after she dumps him, I have a feeling he’ll be the weirdo next to the park playground…and for anyone else out there into little boys dressed like girls on the beach…this is for you….
I love that a geeky weird 17 year old kid who looks like he’s making a personal computer in his garage in 1982 can land a date with a Maxim Model and we can’t.
All it takes is a little drive and a little geeky weird 17 year old dancing like an asshole so that all the idiots around the itnernet watch the shit and think it is the funniest thing ever because they have the minds of retarded mice, if you know what I mean…
But no matter how basic an idea this is, you gotta give dude props, cuz despite lookin’ real non threatening, I hear he has an elaborate plan to rape and murder the bitch so she can never leave him.
Serves her right for meeting a dude from the internet.
I guess Dave Navarro gave up on teenage groupies and decided to stick it to some 28 year old communist immigrant dancer. The funny thing about immigrants is how they dress when they come here. It’s like they try to fit in so they follow their idea of what is popular, like in Izabelle Miko’s case, Avril Lavigne. So bitch goes off and does the stupid “Punk” streak and jumps on the first semi-famous dick she can find, which lucky for Navarro is him, because I’ve fucked dancers before, and it’s pretty next level, and they weren’t even immigrants trying to lock me down for citizenship, but were girls I either paid or got drnk enough to no say no. Their strong legs and flexibility is hard to fucking beat…it’s so good it makes you forget the bitch is using you to get noticed because she was in Coyote Ugly in 2000, back when she thought it was her big break and since then no one knows or remembers her, so the first ready and willing motherfuckin’ sex addict with any level of celebrity comes along, she jumps at the opportunity, cuz communist girls know to jump when the opportunity presents itself…
The legal system is fucked up. If a girl is out there showing me her panties like shit is a fuckin’ tourist attraction, I should be able to take a fuckin’ picture of the shit, because I like to document whatever my eyes see, even if I am hiding under staircases, or bleachers, or tables and desks to get my motherfuckin’ picture of a girl’s upskirt. Not to mention most girls wear fuckin’ underwear so what’s the big fuckin’ deal, it’s just like being on the beach. Stop wasting tax payers money and let a motherfucker be a motherfucker, and while you’re doin it, send me the URL of the site he’s been uploading these pics to. Thanks in advance, assholes…
There was a time where I’d find dressing my girlfriend like a 14 year old girl hot, you know in the school uniform, that she wore just a few years earlier, that she’d jump on my dick wearing and calling me her dirty teacher/pricipal/janitor/whatever she was vibing on, but that was before all 14 year old girls started dressing like fucking emo skateboard dudes, in stupid t-shirts and all over print hoodies, with lame tattoos and lip rings, and asymmetrical faggot haircuts, you know because dressing up your girl like one of those may make you a creepy fag into twinks, and not so into dressing your girl like your wholesome teenage fantasy.
So seeing Avril Lavigne, just reminds me of Halloween or Role Playing or other similar shit that is not as hot as either of those things, but at least she’s drunk, because it helps you visualize draggin’ her out of the club by her hair, you know holdin’ it down like a rapist.
Her name is Blake Lively and she’s the chick on Gossip Girl, a show I’ve never watched but probably should, because ever 18 year old chick is watching it and it’s nice to keep up with what’s going on if you ever want to stick your dick in them
A couple of years ago when the OC first hit, I made a point of watching that shit every thursday night because I used to have a shitty TV and I got it on my one channel. Every time I’d go out to be the creepy old guy at the college party, I’d talk about what happened on the OC and chicks would open up to me and make out with me and all that shit and it was easy fucking research.
I know Gossip Girl is about some NYC socialite rich kid bullshit where everyone is fucking everyone and there’s all kinds of drama on the shit and it’s poisoning every young girl out there and raising the next generation of sluts to love designer clothes more than they already do…..
Here’s a couple episode breakdowns for you to use when out and trying to score young vagina.
Seventeen Candles
Blair is devastated by the current state of her relationship with Nate and the guilt from her recent indiscretion. But she manages to put on a happy face for her 17th birthday party and attempts to hide her feelings from her friends. Hoping to ease the tension between Serena and Vanessa, Dan takes Vanessa to Blair’s party so the girls can bond together, but this ends up making Serena more uncomfortable. Jenny brings her mother home as a surprise visit, but Rufus isn’t ready to forgive and forget. Finally, Nate’s parents ask him to make a huge sacrifice to save his father’s business as he faces charges of embezzlement and fraud.
Victor, Victrola
Serena and Dan finally accept that they are crazy about each other, despite that they come from polar opposite worlds. Chuck thinks of investing in a club trying to make his father Bart Bass proud of him. Nate confronts his father, about the drugs he found in his house but he denies having a problem. Jenny discovers a secret that her parents have been keeping from her. Finally, Blair is devastated by Nate’s actions when Jenny reveals that Nate kissed her by accident thinking she was Serena.
The Handmaiden’s Tale
Dan is torn between two girls when his childhood friend, Vanessa, returns home and declares her feelings for him, just as he and Serena are trying to figure out what they mean to each other. At the infamous masked ball, Blair sends Nate on a scavenger hunt, but Nate is ultimately still distracted by his feelings for Serena. Although Blair makes it perfectly clear that outsiders are not welcome, a disguised Jenny and Dan sneak into the ball. Finally, Lily asks Rufus to accompany her to an Eleanor Waldorf event in order to make Bart Bass jealous
That’s enough of that….This Blake Lively chick is the new Mischa Barton on the new OC and she plays the girl Serena and she’s in her school uniform and you like that. Now use this knowledge when you’re standing outside your local private schools looking for love and send me pics of the outcome….
My stepdaughter and her celebrity obsessed friends who think they are socialites went to the Hilary Duff concert here in Montreal. I don’t really understand why, because Hilary is a piece of shit performer, but worth a round cuz she’s young and has money, but I don’t think they were thinkin’ that when they went. They were too busy trying to touch her sweater, and by sweater I mean article of clothing, not her cooter.
The last time I flew, I was stuck on a plane that played her movie about bloggin’, it really hit close to home, not cuz I have a blog but because I had to move around a lot as a child.
Here are the 2 useless pics they brought back to me. I clearly asked for an autograph made out to “jesus martinez, my drunkenstepfather, love Hilary”, that reminds me, if any of you fuckers know famous ppl get autographs for me. I am going to start a celeb autograph section on the site, but considering I never leave the house, you are going to have to help me.
