Samaire Armstrong is hiding her stomach like she just hit up the snack bar harder than her man banged her without a condom because people in Hollywood don’t use condoms even when they are on the lowest wrung of the fame ladder and their only real claim to fame was a stint on the OC that lasted a couple of episodes. That said, I am pretty sure that she’s preggers and decided to keep the baby, unlike her Hollywood counterparts who opt for the in home abortion, like Lohan since it is the most effective form of birth control…

Either way, I think it’s funny when people make their insecurities so obvious. I was walking down the street today and came across a woman in a white tank top with no bra and erect nipples. I wouldn’t have even noticed her, because when I leave my house I don’t really notice anything. But she kept trying to awkwardly cover her tits as much as she could as she talked to a woman, but ended up drawing more attention to her tits than she should have….which wasn’t a good thing, considering she was in her 60s, not that that would ever stop you.

So Carl’s Jr. had a commercial featuring criminal Paris Hilton in a car wash and it gave everyone a fucking boner except me – because I can’t get boners. It seems like they are back with a new commercial featuring some girl from the OC named Ashley Hartman and she looks pretty tight bodied, but not the kind of tight body I witnessed at the strip club this afternoon. The bitch was one of those body builder chicks with biceps that put most men to shame and a back as wide as a pick-up truck. I think I wrote about how I wanted to pay her to arm wrestle me last summer, but never did it because I was scared she’d get offended and use her testosterone imbalance induced rage on me. I guess what the real issue in the whole thing was that when she was crawling on all fours her ass looked hot in contrast to her jacked legs….I don’t know where I am going with this, but I am pretty sure that the Carl Jr. Ads are worth watching while you try to figure out why you just wasted your time reading this post. It’s pretty safe to say that I am losing my edge.

I HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE GETTING ANNOYED THINKING I GOT PAID TO POST THIS…I DON’T GET PAID FOR SHIT….
HERE’S THE VIDEO FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO SEE IT