Here’s a crazy fucking story, some Ethiopian dude who lives in Chicago has been sending Obama HIV blood because he wants help from the government because he’s very sick with HIV.

Now, I’ve heard of this happening at bank machines a couple years ago, when Aids was still relevant and people were still scared of the shit, back when girls made you use condoms, before accepting that Aids is only for Africans and Gays, and dudes would come up to you and jack you in the leg with a needle filled with blood to welcome you into the family, but it only happened to me once, and the dude didn’t stab me with the needle because I showed him my bank statement and figured he’d save his Aids blood for someone more worthy, because I guess Aids blood is hard to come by.

All kidding aside, Aids is some pretty scary shit, and dude would have been better off just setting Obama up on a blind date with Lohan, it’s a less obvious and illegal way of passing Aids around.

Onto a more interesting story, here’s the original the Original Lollipop Kid from the Wizard of Oz, he’s 89 and still shorter than ever….