I didn’t want to bother writing about Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery because I knew it was her final publicity stunt before pretty much fading away into obscurity thanks to The Hills being replaced by Jersey Shore. I wanted to ignore her cuz I’ve given her too much attention…

See a few weeks ago, I noticed that Heidi and Spencer added me to twitter, despite me not bothering following them, so I wanted to check in and see what the fuck the deal was, and it turned out they were following 1000s of people in a desperate attempt to get more people behind them, but no one even care, so I smiled knowing they were done and went with my useless day….

Then this story of 10 surgeries, one asshole husband I fucking hate, a failed self-produced pop album she spent all her money on in some ill-advised strategy, some labia reduction surgery, a few new DDD bras and an insecure, useless bitch and I figured bitch has a little more fight in her….and sure she looks a little better…giving horse-headed whores everywhere hope, but I know this is just the beginning of her becoming one of those vile plastic surgery freaks I see in porn, at strip clubs or in pictures in rich Jewish households, and the whole thing is fucking funny to me….but not as funny as watching her new face struggle to talk in this video People Magazine produced….if you haven’t already seen it…