I am tired of not giving bitches the benefit of the doubt. You see instinctively when I saw these pictures of Elisabetta Gergoraci and her much older, fatter, less attractive than her husband, I wanted to laugh about how her pussy won the lottery for her and how his hard work and money won the lottery for him. I like laughing at bitches who are so obviously involved with a motherfucker out of laziness and because it serves their needs and lifestyle they think they deserve because their dad’s called them princess as they were growing up or some shit, but then I thought that everyone gets with someone out of personal gain, and stability and security really isn’t something we should call a girl a whore about, sure she’s hotter than him and he’s got more money than she could ever dream of, and if you ask me that’s a match made in fuckin’ heaven cuz they both know where each other stand. So let this inspire you to get off your ass and start your hustle, because hot pussy comes to those with big bank accounts…True story….and really who gives a fuck about Flavio Briatore, it’s not like he’s even fucking relevant in our lives in any fucking way….but I’ll post it anyway….cuz that’s how lazy I am.
Bonus – Here’s an EXCLUSIVE picture the paparazzi caught of Tiger Woods makin’ a move on this girl cuz he’s got a thing for wallet fuckers….
Dolce and Gabana are so gay….and so is every chachi motherfucker who wears their 100 dollar t-shirts to impress the chicks when all you’re really doin’ is makin’ these ‘mo’s richer…I have no easy with homosexuality at all, I don’t care who is fucking who as long as people are fucking, but I wonder if middle America dudes who pick this shit up at TJ Maxx, or the meatheads I see walking into cheesy clubs know what they’re really getting themselves into and the whole thing is funny to me….
If you’re wondering why I am posting this, it’s not cuz I just jerked off to it, it’s cuz there was a chick in a bikini there and that shit is my job….I promise…no…seriously guys, come on….I’m not gay…ok…it’s getting old…you can stop now…fine…you wanna hear that I’m gay…you want me to admit it…will that make you shut the fuck up….fine I jerk off to cock….not fuck yourself….
I am like my black friend who I used to go to the stripclub with who would look at the black strippers with anger and disgrace. He’d be so ashamed that they would lower themselves to dance on stage for the likes of me that as they’d walk onto stage he’d shake his head is disapproval and turn his back to them. If they came to lure him into a lap dance, he’d throw their arms off him and ask them why the fuck they had to lower themselves to this shit, to being a common fucking whore, and he’d fuckin’ lecture them, and they’d take it until they started crying and would run backstage, only to get us kicked out.
A Mexican American woman is supposed to be making fucking babies, working as a cleaning lady on the side to help her husband barely make fucking rent in the Mexican ghetto they live in. They are not supposed to be parading around yachts, in bikinis, like a common fucking whore for their basketball playing black husbands. She’s a rebeling against her calling and I guess that’s why her ass looks like she’s already had 8 kids.
Hayden Panettiere is still on vacation, or maybe this is working, considering celebrities live the laziest fucking life, unlike me, who is up all day sitting on my couch, taking beer bottles back to buy more beer, or maybe even a can of beefaroni, because like a celebrity I need a personal chef, unfortunately my chef is named Chef Boyardee and he makes his mass produced shit with the most ghetto ingredients to make it affordable, I suck at life and here’s Hayden ownin’ hers in a white bikini, which coincidentally is my favorite color bikini because I am ususally able to spot pussy and I am sure I’ve said this before, but I am a fan of pussy.
I uploaded a ton of Elle Macpherson pics last week, I have no idea why, but I do know that I didn’t post them. I guess I was giving a little love back to the girl who introduced the SI Swimsuit edition to my masturbation, not that I get down like that anymore, but it was the 80s and porn access was limited, espectially when you live with psycho Christians who would strip search you everytime you came home, because they thought you were up to no good, and molesters for the sake of Jesus, not that it matters, I don’t need to air out my dirty laundry with you, even though I have a lot of it, but that’s just because my wife is a lazy cunt who doesn’t know how to be a fucking wife, but she does know how to eat a hot dog and not in the good kind of way, but in the obese all you can eat buffet kind of way.
HERE SHE IS RIDING A BIKE…..
BONUS – SOME PICTURES OF HER IN A SEE THROUGH DRESS THAT ISN”T SEE THROUGH AT ALL
Here’s that 1989 SI Shoot – I Fell in Love With…In Hindsight, She’s Got Shoulders Only a Gay Guy Could Love….But I was an immigrant, had lower standards, was hornier and 19.
Elle Macpherson is one of the first supermodels I can remember jerking off to in the 80s, like really diggin and jerkin’ off to because I am sure there were many before her, but they remain nameless and she’s the one that stands out in my tattered brain.
Here she is on vacation with her kids and based on the waterskiing, it looks like she’s holding onto the past, because last time I checked, no one fucking waterskis anymore, it’s a thing of the past, dated like neon sun protecting cream, an ancient art and passtime, which is appropriate, because so is Elle Macpherson’s vagina. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..good one.
So I am tried of being seen as this negative energy and as I cleanse my life from negative people, I feel I should bring some positive vibes to the site…that said, here’s my positive message inspired by Jennifer Love Hewitt by the pool…
Hey Jennifer love, you don’t look offensively fat, maybe it’s gotta to do with the decency and respect you have shown by covering the fuck up, or maybe it’s because you have taken some time to work on your body to get back on track. Good Job.
I tried. Not very hard, but I tried none the less.
If any relationships are real in Hollywood, and not just an extension of their PR strategies, you know where they actually have a soul, connection, love, passion, interest in each other, then the Good Charlotte sister will probably be pretty fucking heavy hearted after seeing these pictures, but not as heavy hearted as when his one true love, his soulmate, his masturbation partner, settled with Nicole Richie and made babies.
Not that it matters because we aren’t faggot’s here and we don’t care about emotions, we believe if fuckin’ whores until our dicks bleed then fuckin’ them some more, you know stringing women along, lying to them, manipulating them and only doing it because they allow us to, not because we’re bad people, but because they are just retarded and like drama, like being mistreated and lied to and love suckin’ dick when they think it’ll get them something. Unfortunately, you’re still a virgin and I’m married to a fat chick I don’t like fucking, but that’s how we should be.
I guess the real joke in all this shit, is that there is no way these pictures aren’t staged, I’ve never gone scuba diving before, but I’m pretty sure there were no paparazzi down there waiting for a celeb just incase they were, but maybe that should be their new strategy, because under water bikini pics, will be something new to jerk off to, and trust me, we’re all lookin’ for that….
The sad news of the day is that Paris was attacked by a shark, but her vagina faught it off and she survived…the shark wasn’t so lucky…and either is this Reinhardt motherfucker.
Here are some more pictures of Fergie on vacation in her bikini. I am going to go get drunk so you should just try to write your own post in your head while jerking off, or doing whatever you do to bikini pics of Fergie. I hear playing some of her music while opening these pictures makes the whole experience all the more pathetic, a feeling you’re probably used to every time you cum….and by you I mean…me.
Jessica Alba is on vacation and hiding her damaged mom body from the public. I assume she’s also hiding her mom vagina from Cash Warren not for fear of getting pregnant again at a time their family planning hadn’t planned for, but because she’s so exhausted from being kept up by the baby and all of its all hours of the night demands and by being exhausted from the baby, I mean from signing checks to her nanny staff who she’s pawned her baby off on cuz her lazy ass can’t be bothered. The fucking thing was a strategy or tool to lock her boyfriend who dumped her ass in because no one dumps Jessica Alba and this whole wanting to be fed, changed, loved, played with was not part of the fucking plan….
Queen Latifah was out on the beach in Miami this past weekend for some lesbian getaway and she was seen with some topless girl who I can only assume she’s fucking.
Now, you can hate on this pig all you want, but she still gets more pussy than you, which isn’t saying much, since a dude in prison gets more pussy than you, and even though prison pussy usually involves getting dick violently shoved in your ass before getting beat the fuck up to keep the whole thing “straight”, but when you’re that lonely, it’s still nice to have that human contact even if it’s just for a minute and comes with the bloody asshole. If you know what I mean.
I guess what it comes down to is that as long as you’re famous, there will always be a steady stream of vagina headed your way and you don’t have to bother with the useless things in life like diet, exercise or making yourself look hot enough to fuck. The whole thing is pretty lazy, takes limited work, just the way Latifah likes it, unless of course it comes to eating, in which case she’s a marathon fucking runner….
Looks like Fergie went of vacation in some other country for Valentine’s Day shit because he’s in love. I know, it was just a couple years ago that the only love in her life was Crystal Meth before he broke her heart and left her face battered.
I guess she feels like her life isn’t enough of a vacation. I am not judging, because if I had the money I’d be on the beach laying in the sun and creeping on unsuspecting sluts too, I’d even encourage the locals to call me something like “Senor Sticks His Dick in Anything that Shows Up on the Beach and Gets too Sun Stroked to Resist” but since I am an asshole, I wouldn’t have a social responsibility to my fans to spend my money during the recession locally by vacationing within the country, not that I have fans, but you get what I’m saying, this $20,000 or more could have really helped some bed and breakfast in Vermont that is about to go bankrupt, but I guess in from her celebrity perch, she just doesn’t care about the people who buy her shit, but she does care about treating her leather face the way it deserves to be treated, like a fuckin’ saddle.
Seeing a 65 year old multiple divorcee socialite on vacation with a random man just doesn’t do the same thing to me as seeing a hot young piece out being a slut on vacation.
I guess I am a racist against old ladies and couldn’t care less how many cocks their desert storm pussies explore or have explored because they are already disgusting to me and nothing they could do could turn me off as much as they already do.
The only thing that could redeem them in my mind is if they shot a sex tape that starts when one of these fuckers is getting their soiled depends changed by the other one, and out come the dentures and in goes the half hard dying cock, but that’s just because it’d be funny.
Either way, here she is on vacation, maybe I should give old ladies more love, especially the financially stable ones…
Girls are so catty. I was at the strip club the other night and I saw two of the strippers pretty much beating each other up because they were wearing the same stripper costume. They were pulling at each other’s shirts and spitting at each other while calling each other names. The bouncer let it go on for a few minutes because he knew shit was good for business, because it’s not everyday at the stripclub where some wrestling implanted whores get down and he sent both girls home. I was just surprised that they’d get so mad about somethng so stupid, I figured they didn’t have that much selection at the local stripper costume shop to begin with and seeing another girl working in the same costume happens all the time, not to mention as a patron, we just want to see you naked and don’t really even notice what you’re wearing, but girls will be girls.
Here are some pics of Heidi Klum raining on Cindy Crawford’s topless moment in the sun, because I guess she wants to prove that she’s still got it goin’ on too and that even after ravagin her body with black man cock and black man semen and black man babies, people still like seeing her ex-model mom tits.
If this is infact a competition of tits, where Heidi Klum is trying to show up Cindy Crawford, she lost. It’s safe to say that bad things have happened to Heidi Klum and bitch looks like she’s been dancing around a fire chanting tribal songs with her family and that this shit was shot by National Geographic and that she’s definitely lost whatever she once had.
So Britney Spears is in Cabo with her hired friends and dancers training hard for their big VMA performance I heard about on the radio. I could be wrong and these pictures could be old and the hired gay dude may actually be one of her “real” friends and not an employee or someone trying to ride her coat tails and get some media attention, but it doesn’t matter because she looks amazing. This is just further proof that if you throw a bitch in the gym for 6 months and force photographer to put on a grainy lens, she totally looks worth fucking, but in all fairness to Britney’s slow dive into the gutter, none of us can small the smells she’s releasing or see the brown stains around her pussy on her nice white bikini, so her hard work in being insane and giving up on life hasn’t fully gone to waste, as long as she stays out of the pool because she wouldn’t want the chlorine may to kill off the bacterial build-up collection, it’s taken 2 years to make and it can’t go to waste….
Either, I wish they made glasses that had the same effect that I could use on my wife because if they did, I am sure my penis would still work like a normal, vibrant, sober 40 year old man. I know I am boring today, but it’s monday and I hate you as much as I hate this computer.
