I hitched a ride to NYC with a group of idiots. I crashed on couches cuz I am poor. I defied all odds and border patrol, all to get the the VMAs that I only found out about when I got here.

I have no hook-ups and need you to tell your friends…so word gets around that the most useless blogger is ready to crash parties…

If you know people at Make a Wish Foundation, tell them your fat friend with AIDS is ready to redeem his gift. I don’t have AIDS but I do have the capacity to pretend I do….

If you have a cousin, a brother, an uncle a sister who once fucked someone who worked at MTVs cousin, brother, uncle or sister….hit them up for me..

Email me at info (at) drunkenstepfather.com

Make magic happen for me….even though I know no one is reading this and if they are, they are losers with no hook-ups and if they are hooked up, they aren’t helping me…

But I am desperate and it is worth it…

On a sidenote I saw Jared Leto and he looks real bisexual. He was with Shenae “I got a black name” Grimes….and she was ugly as fuck in person…

Next stop, Lohan’s vagina….

I was at a club this past weekend drinking like I do. It was some open bar party that I managed to work my way into and when inside, I got to talking to some dude about smoking weed, and how the girls in this place were all drunk and wanted to get fucked. A Rihanna song came on, since she’s pretty much killin’ the music industry and is on the top of her game, despite not being a very good singer or a very hot bodied black chick, but I still think she deserves it because all her songs are catchy and hits that everyone can get down to.

Either way, this chick who looked and dressed like Rihanna jumped onto a table and started doing Rihanna choreographed dance moves that she obviously learned watching her music videos and as she danced away, people started watching the spectacle and formed a bit of an audience around her because from far away she looked just like Rihanna and we didn’t know if we were in a celebrity party or if this girl was just a fuckin’ rip off artist who was loving all the attention….

When the song ended and she got off her table and everyone clapped for her, which I thought was ridiculous, considering how creepy it is to pretend you are someone famous to feel better about yourself when people clap and grandmas ask for autographs so I decided to walk up to her and entertain her shit. She gave me pure fuckin’ attitude and when the guy I met who loved weed asked for a picture she said something like “I don’t do photos” and I laughed in her face, because that kind of attitude from someone who is just copying someone famous because she thinks she’s actually important and has some kind of ego like she’s a celebrity and not just some shitty stripper or whatever the fuck she does to pay her bills is funny….what isn’t funny is the fact that I still wanted to fuck her but knew I’d never see her naked, not even with promises of featuring her on this website because she was too caught up in thinking she was famous while the real Rihanna was at the VMAs and here are the pics….

Bonus Here She Is With T.I. in Tight Pants

Here She is Arriving to the Show

Britney Spears dominated the VMAs and I missed her opening act because I was trying to get to my friend’s house to watch the shit and got distracted along the way. He said it was with the dude from Superbad or someshit and that it was kinda funny, but I am too lazy to look for it because my state issued therapist told me that I need to learn how to let go of the past and move on….

I did see her win 2 or 3 awards and the entire time she sounded sane, medicated and polite. I guess her management is serious about getting her back into the scene and have trained her properly to be normal and as each award came, her manager and exloiter, Larry Rudolph got more and more excited as he say the balance in his bank account get bigger and bigger.

She looked better than she has in a while but still needs to hit the gym for another 6 months and despite not being excited about her comeback, I don’t really care, I just liked her better when she was crazy, unwashed and exposing her body parts to the world because she didn’t give a fuck. Playing it safe is boring, embracing your insanity is exciting because you never know what you are going to get and crazy chicks are like porn to me. Either way, here are ssome pics of Britney.