I wonder how many times Beyonce has practiced this pose…I’m sure it’s been done over and over and over again in front of the mirror after eating a trough full of popeye’s chicken….embracing her gut like it was her baby….because that’s just the kind of cunt she is…one who thinks her giving birth is going to make the whole world happy she reproduced cuz she blessed us with the golden black Jesus…she loves herself….and the sad thing is that people actually care about this twat and her pregnancy even they don’t know the bitch and that’s weird….they are actually celebrating that Jay-Z slipped…knockin her up in a night I can only assume she raped him…forcing him to be stuck to her for the rest of his life…even though they’ve been married half a fucking decade…and reproducing is kinda what you do when you’re married…especially when you’re in love with yourself and want to drop some clones…
I didn’t know it was the VMAs last night, and you know what, if Idid know, I still wouldn’t watch cuz I’m an adult, this shit is just smut, and if I’m gonna watch smut I’d rather watch actual smut I can jerk off to….instead of just get annoyed by….
But here are some of the sluts who were in attendence…because unfortunatley I post this shit all day …. and I haven’t figured out why….
Kim Kardashian’s Huge Ass…..
Katie Holmes Alien Robot Pose…
Britney Spears Looking Hot….
Nicki Minaj Trying Too Hard….Lookin’ Fucking Stupid…
Katy Perry is Ugly….Even With her Tits….I don’t care what anyone says…
Miley Cyrus is Elegant Trash…
Demi Lovato’s Crazy Fake Tits are Fun…
Jersey Shore Trash Since MTV owns them…
Maria Menounos….for Old Times….
Kat DeLuna looks like a Trashy Pornstar….fake tan, fake hair, bad make-up…whore..now I gotta google to figure out who she is…
Selena Gomez Sex Offender….
Jojo’s gone black….looking prepared to give birth and put the baby in the dumpster….
Victoria Justice is Boring now that I know she’s over 18….
Here’s the only thing good that came out of the VMAs, other than a Kanye being a dick publicity stunt the news have fucking exhaust because he’s a broken down, rebel who is angry at the world cuz his mom died and she never lived to accept his homosexuality that even he hasn’t accepted, and the Twilight extended trailer for all you idiot Twilight fans, or even the Janet Jackson singing Michael Jackson before his dad ran their movie trailer for the film “Not our last attempt to exploit our dead son”, and it is Alessandra Ambrosio, I know a day late, but when I saw these pics I was like “Finally, a woman I have nothing bad to say about even after she had a kid” and that doesn’t happen often, so if anything we should all collectively masturbate to her and cum at the same time in some kind of new age fireworks show like we were Chinese and that isn’t gay unless some of us start doing it in the room together, which we won’t because we don’t have friends, we only have each other….
I don’t find Vanessa Hudgens hot, especailly not in these spandex leggings and I guess it’s because she ruined that whole mystery that made her somewhat appealing by wondering what she looks like naked by releasing naked pictures of herself on the Internet. Now all I see is some ethnic lookin’ muppet acting like an asshole on stage, knowing that her scandal was the key to this whole virginity movement that bores me because I won’t get the chance to see these fuckers fuck up because they are too concerned about their careers and their contracts, i wish I had the same level of ambition because then maybe this site would be worth reading, but instead I am just going to go take a nap.
As Christina Aguilera was asked about motherhood and Lily Allen stood off camera crying to herself about what could have been if only her uterus was strong enough to withstand her self-destructive lifestyle, her tits remained ridiculous. I don’t really know what’s going on with Aguilera or whether she’s had a lot of plastic surgery done or not, but I do know that she looks a hell of a lot different that she used to and a hell of a lot more like a tacky bitch you’d see working at a tanning salon in some cleavage exposing outfit and I guess there’s nothing gay about that, what is gay is that you are at the fucking tanning salon, are you lookin’ for an even tan so that you look good in your new Ed Hardy T-shirt when you go to the club to buy bottles of Grey Goose, because everyone knows that it’s only masculine for a guy to have a tan if he got it doing something tough, like being stranded on a deserted island and forced to fend for himself, or if he got it raping and killing a small tropical village or some shit, but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is Aguilera’s cleavage from last night….
So Katy Perry is doing all that she can to hold onto this fame that she’s unfortunately got for a song that I can’t fucking stand and she’s doing it by hanging out with Miley Cyrus, giving us all some Lesbian Pedophile fantasies we’d get arrested for if we tried to play shit out with a couple girls we meet at the bus station on video. Now I can’t stand either of these sluts because they come to the party that is my life uninvited, on TV or on the Radio or pretty much anywhere I am and that makes me fuckin’ hate them. They are thrown down my fuckin’ throat and all I see is talentless shit that don’t deserve to be where they are, but I don’t have the power to make them go away, so I’ll just stare at Katy Perry’s fat tits and fat stomach in her stupid outfit while thinkin’ about Miley Cyrus’ virginity being a thing of the past.
At last night’s awards, Russel Brand, who I think was in over his head but still a decent host because he’s got a funny way about him and who I like since seeing him live and realizing he’s a definite talent, played it kinda safe. He was ripping into the Jonas brother’s about their promise rings and how they don’t do the pussy being thrown at them because they are contractually not allowed to and he made fun of this whole virginity lie the media is feeding our youth. Then Jordin Sparks from American Idol and Rich Daddy who paid for her career and all the junk food that made her this way came out saying it’s better to be a virgin than a slut, because that’s what she tells herself every night when she finds herself crying after masturbating because no one wants her Gorilla lookin’ body and instead of Russel Brand tearing her apart he came out and back tracked on his promise ring shit he was using to carry him through the show and said it’s okay to be a virgin and it’s commedable, and that kind of pussy footing pisses me off, but I guess dude’s just trying to make it in America without making enemies but was still fuckin’ weak on his part…..because the entire world knows this promise ring, God shit is a lie and that girls like Miley Cyrus give better blowjobs than a pornstar because they are eager, bright eyed and their daddy taught them proper back when they lived on the farm or some shit….
Either way, here are those pictures….
Bonus That’s Not Really a Bonus – Katy Perry and Her Annoying Lesbian Attention Whore Tits at Some Party of the Day
I walked into some comedy show wasted a few months ago and it fucking sucked, before this dude Russel Brand got on stage. Sure his Amy Winehouse hair and jeans tighter than your asshole before you discovered you liked what how it felt when you started shoving thngs in your ass, threw me off a little, but he was legitimately funny. He had a good energy, vocabulary and his jokes were just smater than all the other comedians despite only being able to understand half of them. I told the girl I was with that he was going to be famous, and he told me he already was in the UK and worked at MTV. She said he had some kind of heroin addiction and now he was going Hollywood and I was surprised because normally the talent Hollywood picks up from overseas sucks.
He will be hosting the VMAs this weekend, the same VMAs that rejected press access for me, and if I cared enough and owned a TV, I’d consider watching it, but probably not to see this jackass use the same jokes I’ve already heard him use, but to see Christina in Britney’s shadow one more time, 15 years after being in her shadow started, like some kind of reunion because in case you haven’t heard, Britney is opening the show and based on these promo shots, I guess Aguilera will be playing the show, but we don’t really care about her, we just care about her beauty secrets, because deep down inside we all wish we could pull off this Asian, busty whore look. Seriously, she looks like a different person than she was, maybe it’s just a stand in and she’s off on the beach somewhere, but they say it’s really her and I guess we have no choice but to blame the jews because her jew Plastic Surgeons did this to her after she married a Jew and had its Jew baby. I’d still fuck her pregnancy gut at cum all over her stretchmarks but that’s just because I liked her at one time and can’t turn my back on her now that God has, not to mention those new eyes of her would help me play out my Vietnam war vetran fantasies of raping small jungle villages, the big fake titty, Hollywood version.
I’ve been telling people for a long time that this whole Britney Spears thing has been some kind of obscure PR act in efforts to stay in the limelight while getting her shit together before releasing her new album. I really thought that she was preparing to hit big again for a long time but had to get the pregnancy weight off and sort her shit out with her loser husband before really focusing on the comeback. I was convinced that in effort to sell records in future, she was going to play the wreck everyone wanted her to be, because it got her in magazines and on TV and on every fucking website out there.
I didn’t realize she really was a wreck. I think it’s safe to say, that I was fucking wrong. This bitch is a bigger mess than my wife’s panties, and you may not know how big of a mess that is, I think I’ll let you take my word on it. I thought she was going to come through the first place she probably the shouldn’t have been a mess because it was so anticipated. Maybe it is part of her plan and maybe I am wrong and maybe there is still hope but her skill is a fucking joke and I am no judge of dancing ability or lip syncing ability but I can tell you that she was lazy, seemed like she was jacked on some kind of drugs, bloated and reminded me of every fat chick I’ve ever banged, except the fat chicks always managed to make me cum in the end.
Watching a girls career go down the toilet has been pretty depressing, it’s like watching your favorite whore who loved licking your asshole contract HIV and everytime you’d get her discounted ass licking AIDS rate, you’d slowly see her fade away but on the positive side it probably makes her a lot more accessible because no one is going to want to touch her and that gives us all hope that one day we can knock her up like we were K-Fed, because disgusting or not, fucking her is a good business opportunity.
Either way, here are the pictures of her performance and if you don’t think this post is funny, realize it isn’t supposed to be, it’s my own kind of useless eulogy to a hot popstar that once was…..and despite fighting in her corner for the last little while, I have to accept the fact that she’s over…..the next time I want to watch some fat mom out of breath mouthing words, I’ll just stick to watching the mother/baby aquarobics class at my local Y through the back alley window until they call the cops on me again …because those mom’s at least have the decency to cover up their gunt….
Let’s hope the rest of the day brings more happiness, and in the meantime, enjoy the pics because she is half naked and in fishnets, and she’s laughing because even she realizes that this shit’s over and that it’s all some depressing joke that she’s just milking with her shitty retard-highschool talent show performance that was hot when she was 17 and not so much when she’s crazy…but I’d know you’d all still do her….and that’s the reason why I am here…to remind you that no matter how fucking wrecked bitch is, you’re still never going to taste the cheesy flavor dripping out of her twat. Cuddles.
